A Christmas Carol

Man that is born of woman hath but a short time to live...

...and is full of misery.

He cometh up and is cut down like a flower.

He flee from us like a shadow...

I can hardly believe that Mr. Marley's gone.

He's at peace, Mr. Crump.

He's nowhere, sir. The truth is he's dead. Dead as a doornail.

Though I don't know what is particularly dead about a doornail.

I wouldn't think that a doornail was the deadest piece of iron mongery...

...in the trade.

Why not say, dead as a doorknob, or doorknocker?

Nail, knob, or knocker, Jacob's gone and there's an end to it.

A mighty poor turnout for such an important businessman.

Perhaps it was because of the day he died?

The day he died, sir?

Christmas Eve.

But it would account for the lack of grieving relatives.

At least he was spared that in his final hours.

Great loss, sir.

We leave you to grieve in silence.

The firm of Scrooge and Marley will miss your shrewd brain...

...and keen eye, Jacob.

We went through some hard times together.

But we pulled through and we thrived on the idleness of others.

Rest content, Jacob, the firm we built together will prosper.

I promise.

And a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you!

Merry Christmas, sir.

Merry Christmas, sir.

I was wondering, sir, if after seven years you would be...

...removing Mr. Marley's name from the sign outside?

No, time will erase it at no cost to us.

Yes, sir.

I was just getting some coal, sir, for the fire.

It's going out.

Poke it, sir. Poke it.

A Merry Christmas, Uncle! God save you!

Bah! Humbug!

Christmas a humbug, Uncle? You don't mean it.

I do mean it, sir!

Merry Christmas. What reason have you to be merry?

What right have you to be merry? You're poor!

What right have you to be miserable, then? You're rich!

Merry Christmas!

Damn your Merry Christmas!

What's Christmastime to you but a time for paying bills without money.

A time for finding yourself a year older and not an hour richer.

A time for balancing your books and finding every item dead...

...against you.

If I had my way, every idiot who went around with...

..."Merry Christmas" on his lips would be boiled with his own pudding, and...

...buried with a stake of holly through his heart.

Come, Uncle.

Nephew, you keep Christmas in your way. I'll keep it in mine.

But you don't keep it.

Let me leave it alone, then.

I still say, "Merry Christmas."

That's all you do say and much good it does you.

Much good it will ever do you.

There're many things I've got a lot of good from...

...which haven't made me a penny profit. Christmas amongst them.

I've always thought of Christmas as a time for good, not a time for profit.

A kind, forgiving time.

A time when men and women can think of others.

It's never put an extra penny in my pocket...

...but I believe Christmas has done me good, and will do me good.

So I still say, "Merry Christmas, Uncle! "

You said something, Mr. Cratchit?

No, sir.

Not a sound out of you or you'll make this a truly Merry Christmas by losing your job.

Uncle, don't be hard on Mr. Cratchit. It's all my fault.

You are quite the powerful speaker, sir.

A wonder you don't go into Parliament.

Don't be angry, Uncle.

- Dine with us tomorrow. - Dine with you! I'll see you damned first!

But why?

Why did you marry?

Because I fell in love.

Because you fell in love.

Love. Humbug.

You won't come see me 'cause I'm married?

Yes.

Well, you never came to see me when I wasn't married.

Good afternoon, Nephew.

I want nothing from you.

I ask nothing of you. Why can't we be friends?

Good afternoon.

I'm sorry you're so stubborn.

But I came here full of Christmas spirit. So I say again, "Merry Christmas, Uncle! "

Good afternoon.

- And a Happy New Year! - Good afternoon!

A Merry Christmas to you, Mr. Cratchit!

Merry Christmas, sir!

You find my nephew amusing, Cratchit?

He's a very pleasant fellow, sir.

Yeah, you're another Christmas lunatic like him.

If you say so, sir.

It seems you doubt me, Mr. Cratchit. What are you then?

Your clerk, Mr. Scrooge.

My 15-shilling-a-week clerk. With a wife and family.

Yet you babble about Merry Christmas.

I'll retire to bedlam.

Sir, do you know this area?

Tolerably well.

We're new here. We're looking for the offices of Scrooge and Marley.

Some 50 yards along on the right.

Good. We're collecting charitable donations...

...for the poor of Clerkenwell.

You are collecting money on behalf of a charity from...

...Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge?

Yes and Mr. Marley and other businessmen of the neighborhood.

Yes, we think Christmas Eve is the most appropriate time for giving freely.

This is the office of Scrooge and Marley?

It is, sir.

May I press your cudiles, sir.

Do I have the honor of addressing Mr. Scrooge or Mr. Marley?

Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years.

He died seven years ago, this very night.

Mr. Williams and Mr. Foster. May we offer our sympathy?

Why? You're not relatives, are you?

No, but we feel sure you must be thinking about him at this time.

And I'm sure his generosity is represented by his surviving partner.

At this festive time of the year, it's surely desirable...

...that we make some slight provision for the poor and destitute...

...don't you agree?

I take it that you gentlemen are new to the district?

New and eager, sir!

You will agree...

...that many thousands of people lack the basic necessities...

...and many hundreds of thousands lack ordinary comforts.

Are there no prisons?

Plenty of prisons, sir.

And the union workhouses? Are they still in operation?

Yes, they are. I only wish I could say they were not.

A few of us are endeavoring to raise a fund to buy the poor some meat...

...and drink and means of warmth.

How much may we put you down for, Mr. Scrooge?

Nothing.

You wish to remain anonymous?

I wish to be left alone.

I don't make merry myself at Christmas time and I can't afford...

...to make idle people merry. I support those institutions...

...I have mentioned, and I expect the poor to make use of them.

Those who are badly off must go there.

Many cannot go there and many would rather die.

If they would rather die, they'd better do it and decrease the surplus population.

Mr. Cratchit would you show these gentlemen out?

I'm going to try Scrooge's.

No, don't do that.

"Good King Wenceslas looked out

"On the feast of Stephen

"When the snow lay round about

"Deep and crisp and even

"Brightly shown the moon that night

"Though the frost was cruel

"When a poor man came in..."

It's Scrooge!

Run!

Away with you.

You'll want all day tomorrow, I suppose?

If it's convenient, sir.

It's not convenient!

And it's not fair.

If I was to deduct half a crown for you taking the day off...

...you'd think yourself ill-used. I'll be bound.

But you don't think me ill-used when I pay you a day's wages for no work.

It's only once a year, sir.

Fine excuse for picking a man's pocket...

...every 25th of December.

I suppose you must have the whole day.

You'll be here all the earlier the next morning.

Yes, sir. Merry...

You were about to say something, Cratchit?

Nothing, sir.

Jacob.

Jacob Marley.

Humbug.

Indigestion.

No. I won't believe it.

What business do you want with me?

Much.

Who are you, sir?

Ask me who I was.

Very well, who were you then?

In life, I was your partner.

Jacob Marley.

Can you sit down?

I can.

Well, do it then.

You don't believe in me?

I don't.

Why do you doubt your senses?

Because little things upset them.

An upset stomach can put them quite out of order.

You could be a crumb of moldy cheese. An underdone turnip.

Moldy cheese?

An underdone turnip?

Or some British beef. That can be mighty upsetting to the stomach.

There's more gravy than grave about you, Jacob!

What is it? Speak up, man!