This Beautiful Fantastic

Bella Brown...

Well, what can I say?

There was nothing normal about the girl.

It's a miracle she survived at all after her arrival in the world.

They say she would have perished if it hadn't of been for the ducks.

Sat on her like an egg, they did.

Treated her as one of their own.

She was finally discovered by one of those ancient lunatics

who frequent the parks of our city

and seem to enjoy hypothermia.

She grew into the oddest of oddballs,

terrified by the unpredictability of nature

and flora, in particular.

Where on earth that came from, I dread to think.

She's always had a preoccupation with order

that would have tried the patience of a saint,

never mind the nuns at Saint Fedelma's.

Bella Brown!

It's an insular and solitary world for Miss Brown,

just her and her books.

Hers was a story just waiting to be told

but the obsessive little world she created

meant that this was one book that remained

firmly shut.

I'm not a religious man

but I believe someone sent her here

to test us.

Today,

I'm going to make a difference.

Why am I waasting your time with all this worthless titter-tatter?

Because through some misguided care in the community scheme,

this strange creature has become my next door neighbor.

May I remind you,

on you indicated days,

you are to arrive here by 9 o'clock and work until 4:30,

with an hour for lunch and two 15 minute breaks for tea.

This morning you are to tend to oceanography, A thru to J,

which is, quite frankly, all at sea.

Hello.

I'm looking for Leonardo di SerPiero Da Vinci.

Please, I'm technical drawings and the like,

You, be so kind.

Leonardo da Vinci, Civil Engineering, in brackets European history,

on back wall, bottom left.

Marvelous! Are you a member?

No, I'm not going to take them, anyway. I'd only lose them. Where would that get us?

May I remind you, no eating or drinking in the library

and we expect absolute silence at all times.

Of course you can. Absolute!

Absolutely.

Hello. Sorry.

Thank you, once again.

Yes, sorry, don't mind...

Yes, yes. I'm sorry. Absolutely!

The library will be closing in 3 minutes, exactly.

Please return your books from whence they came

and make your way to the exit, immediately, thank you.

Look what I found.

Ahh, yes!

Our very own horticultural terrorist.

That place has gone to rack and ruin since she's moved in.

Wiil you please calm down and leave the poor girl alone.

Leave her alone? Have you seen what she's done?

It's nothing less than a wanton, criminal neglect.

I'm Milly Wilton,

Mr. Stephenson's long suffering daughter.

You took a tumble.

the garden fought back, that's what.

You'll survive, no harm done.

No harm done? I think harms had an absolute bloody field day!

Blunt pressure!

Don't worry, tea is on it's way.

Vernon!

Where is that damn tea?

So, young lady, what is it you do when you're not murdering plants?

I work in the library. Filing, mostly, but

but really, I'm a writer.

Oh, a writer! I see. Yes, well, that keeps you out of the garden, doesn't it?

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Inconvenience! What about sorry

for the unmitigated eco-apocalypse you created?

Vernon, the tea!

Textbook!

Great! I hope you enjoy making me ill.

There's only one person responsible for your health.

Yes, you!

Vernon! Tea, please.

Ok, alright, alright,alright. Here it is. I'm sorry.

Hello, Milly.

Alright, stop shouting.

Here.

A cup of tea.

Go on, they're homemade.

Right...

I've got to go.

Delicious! Thank you.

85% cocoa, that's the trick.

and I make them with oat bran, something that's not so bad for His Lordship.

You look repellant in that apron and you've been wearing it too long.

See the abuse that I have to put up with?

If he wasn't so sick, I wouldn't let him get away with it.

Don't speak to me like that. If you continue speaking to me like that, I'm going to quit.

Oh, ho, ho! Quite the Celtic Braveheart, aren't we, when we've got an audience!

He doesn't realize how important this job is to him.

Anyway, you can start cleaning the carpet, thanks to our unwanted guest.

Anytrime in the next 30 seconds.

No, no, no. I've got to go. I've got to let the babysitter go.

Well, you better start straight away, hadn't you?

For God's sake, stop

that Gaelic gibberish.

I'll do it.

No, it's OK, it's my job... Go on, you'll be late.

Don't be ungracious, Vernon. Thank the girl.

Oh, sorry, thank you. It's just that my kids will be really worried.

Slavery was abolished in 1834,

just so you know.

And this country's been going down the drain ever since.

Hi, Bella.

This is Sinead. this is Niamph.

Say hi, girls! Hi!

We've come to cook you breakfast.

Well, it's the least we can do after last night.

Come on, girls, Come on. Here we go.

Here we go.

Ok, girls, will you help me take out the ingredients?

Oh, it's dark in here. Do you mind if I open these.?

Well, that's very thoughtful of you, Vernon but there's really no need.

What, have you eaten? No.

Well, it's really not a problem.

I'm going to get the girls picked up here after breakfast, anyway.

So, ah, ok, let's see what we're working with.

Food prison.

I really need to get ready for work. Don't let us stop you.

We got it covered. Good to go.

Ok, girls, you cook that up.

You take that one.

Girls, there's Bella!

So, what do we got here?

Enjoy!

You don't have to eat it all.

I do make big portions for the big man next door.

Ok, there's your lift, girls.

We're out of time. Ok.

And don't fall. Slow down! Thanks, Jean.

Bye!

Does their mum take them to school?

No, my wife passed away, so...

The breakfast is delicious. Thank you.

Well, it's a long time since I heard that.

You're welcome.

Your employer's a bully. I don't know why you put up eith it.

Well, you know, you get used to it and it pays the rent.

Is that him in the garden?

No, I can't do it. What do you mean you can't do it?

Do you mind?

You may have won the hearts of my slow-witted staff

but not me.

I can't forgive this.

You have squandered everything nature has given you.

Why are you doing this to me?

It's something everyone must learn, Miss Brown. It's called responsibility.

Anathema to you, perhaps but it's an important part of the human condition.

And you, spuds for brains, are late!

No, I'm not!

You are now.

I cannot tolerate tardiness, so I won't be paying you for today.

I've had enough of this! What?

I'm warning you, Alfie, one more word and you can shove your job. Hear?

You're fired.

Okay. Will that be my first verbal warning, then?

You're sacked, Vernon, end of story.

You've heard of the 3 stage dismissal process, have you?

What?

So, let me see, I've been working for you for 5 years,

that's a minimum of 5 months paid notice.

I can get you a copy of the Employment Act if you want.

You'd be better off rehearsing: "Would sir like chips with that?"

Save you time.

He can work for me.

What? What?

You could work for me, if you wanted to.

I do, I do want to.

Yeah, I do.

Ah, so, it looks like I'm working here now. So, you are trespassing.

Well, make the most of it.

You deserve each other.

We'll keep my usual payday, first of the month, thank you.

Good!

I may have been a little hasty.

No, no, no! That's good, that's good.

It'll be a new, fresh start.

I don't know how I'll pay you.

It's ok, he'll pay me, so you don't have to.

I'll show that mean old man what he's missing.

Have you already got a cleaner?

Just me.

Alright

There's cleaning and there's cleaning.

Eh, please don't do that.

There's only some things that