UnREAL

I have to say, you're not what I thought you'd be.

August slept with Quinn.

She asked me not to say anything to you.

I am so sorry, Serena. You deserve the truth.

You know what? From here on out, I'm only dealing with Rachel.

It worked like a charm. She loathes me and loves you.

Whoa, whoa! Who bets on women?

You're kidding. It's the only reason I'm here.

If we met in the real world...

I'd get your number.

And I'd, um, ask you out.

I'm hard on you because I'm trying to help you.

You're trying to cut to the front of the line with Gary.

And I promise you, that is not going to end well.

If you want to earn real power and respect,

be your own woman.

Not somebody else's bitch.

Okay, here's the deal. I'm pitching a show with Quinn

called "Passport to Dance," and you're gonna be the star of it.

If I say yes, you'll bring me more?

Yes.

- I'm Rachel Goldberg. - Oh, my God.

You ever even think about what you did to me?

Every time I look in the mirror.

Your father came that night, and he beat the crap out of me.

What are you talking about?

My father never even knew about what happened.

- Of course he did. - It's not.

Because if my father knew, he would've said something to me.

If my father knew...

Oh, my God. Rachel.

Where are you? Are you... Are you safe?

Yeah. - I haven't heard from you in months.

All right, look, Mom, I'm just calling. Is, um... Is... Is Dad there?

'Cause I've been trying to call his cellphone,

and it's just been going straight to voice-mail, so...

Oh. He keeps losing it.

Probably not even charged.

Okay, so, what? The only way to get ahold

of my father now is to go through you?

- Is that a problem? - Where is he?

He's, um... He's lying down.

He's not feeling well.

That's right... because he never feels well, does he?

What is that supposed to mean?

You know you keep him drugged up, Mom.

Can you just tell him I called?

Well, I can't give him a message if I don't know what it is.

Okay, well, the message is "Your daughter called."

And action.

You know, when I first walked into this mansion,

I thought to myself, "Man, this is perfect."

And then it hit me like a... Boom! Like a light bulb

going off in my head.

We need a ceremony.

What we need is for a girl to get cut.

- Cut! - That was amazing.

Okay, so, I'm gonna tweet that out from your account.

- Oh. - I'm gonna put a clip

on Instagram so that everyone at the fund-raiser sees how much

- you deserve an Emmy. - We... Oh!

What are you do... What are you doing? Hey.

Oh, what...

Uh, yeah, you know what?

See, uh... I... It's just that, uh, I... Technically speaking...

Yeah... you know, I-I-I need my little blue buddies

in order to get things going down there.

- It's nothing personal. - Yeah.

I understand.

You're amazing.

Hey, uh, Simon, Simon, here. Uh, walk with me, okay?

- What's up? - I am taking you off of Rachel.

You're working with the guys now.

What? No, Quinn, Quinn,

we've been making real progress, okay?

It's crucial we continue our sessions here.

Mhn. Nope.

I deal in facts, and fact... she's way worse

since she started talking to you.

Well, there's always bumps in the road.

- That's part of it, right? - Your job was to stabilize her.

Yeah, and we're moving in that direction.

Okay, she crawled into my lap last night.

And we don't touch each other.

So, as far as I'm concerned, you failed.

Okay, people!

So, uh, Jay and I are headed to L.A. to pitch a show today.

That means I am leaving "Everlasting" up to you.

- Rachel, you'll be running point. - Oh, um, no.

Actually, I kind of wanted to talk to you about taking a personal day.

Uh, this is not the day.

You know, I'd totally be up for running point if Rachel isn't.

- Oh, great. - No. No way, okay?

Not after the dumb-assery that you pulled with the reporter.

You are grounded. House duty.

Rachel will be fine.

Besides, she knows how important this pitch is for me.

Don't you, Rachel?

Hey, uh, Quinn. I need to talk to you.

You have a hammock emergency?

Okay, fine. In my office.

Okay, what the hell

were you thinking talking to me in front of my staff?

Look, I'm sorry, but we've got a problem here.

Serena knows.

She was ice cold to me at the last ceremony.

That's so boring and so sad.

Quinn, this is serious.

You created the situation, so you need to fix it.

Wow. I didn't notice those brass balls

when we were getting nasty, and yet... there they are.

Look, normally it wouldn't come to this, but...

if I have to go down the sexual harassment route, I will.

- Excuse me? - I'm just saying,

if I get outed in any way, then I out you.

Got it.

- I will shut it down. - Good.

Did you talk to Quinn?

About what?

She wants us to stop working together.

- She's putting me on the guys. - Yeah, okay.

- Well, that makes sense. - No, it doesn't.

There's, like, 27 cameras pointed at them at all times.

- I'm not worried about the guys. - Thank you.

- I'm worried about you. - Oh, no, listen,

you don't have to be. I'm fine.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

You're the one who came to me with a pretty heavy admission.

Yes, I know. And you have been super helpful about it.

I really appreciate it. I am...

Look, I'm just handling it myself.

What does that even mean?

Rachel! In my office. Now.

Rachel?

I have to.

Hey, look, I'm good.

I know you took Simon off me, but...

No. Your "date" just got more complicated.

Take this. We have to destroy August.

He thinks he can threaten me?

Look, we do not negotiate with terrorists.

Okay, Quinn, what happened?

I need you to take him down before he takes me down.

Make sure that no one believes a word that comes out of his mouth.

Today, our suitress will forge into the wilderness.

And at the end of the trail, Serena will select

the one man that she trusts the most

for our very first overnight date of the season

in our famous Date Cabin.

There will be challenges, of course... of navigation,

I can't even stand to look at August's face right now.

I want to cut him, but I need an excuse.

Don't even worry about it, all right?

I got you covered.

To help guide you through the wild is Ranger Pam.

- Hi, guys. - Hi, Pam.

Your first challenge is to get Serena safely across

this raging river.

Ranger Pam? I mean, those were supposed to be my lines, Rachel.

On your marks! Get set!

Go!

August, what are you doing?

That's one way.

Quinn King and Jay Carter to see Gary.

He's expecting us.

Sure, have a seat.

- Come on. - So, what are you thinking?

You want to run it through one more time, or...

No. Just keep your mouth shut and follow my lead.

It's gonna be fine.

Stomped right into it.

- Now, I wanted a chance to talk to you. - I don't think so.

- Serena, I'm really trying. - Yeah? Well, don't.

- Come on, Owen! - Hey, yeah!

- You got this! - Come on, you can do it!

Oh, my God.

- Wow. - Thank you.

Come on, guys.

He'll see you now.

Weren't we here first?

You told them we were here, correct?

Of course.

Do you need some help? Let me help you.

- Well done. - Good on you, man.

Very impressive.

All right, now it's the race to the Date Cabin.

Due East!

Now we're running. Great.

He's cute.

Would you two like another water?

I am about to piss myself as it is.

Is there a problem?

I'm sure they'll be right with you.

Hey, Owen the boy scout's in the lead.

Congratulations, Owen.

I stopped to pick some wildflowers.

Oh. That's for you.

- Thank you, gorgeous. - Well done.

You okay, Jasper?

Fine. Just a coup...