The Other Woman

Where you going? Come here.

Wait, wait, wait.

Sorry. You're right. We barely know each other.

Maybe we should have a drink and talk.

Actually...

my zipper just got caught on my necklace.

But if you want to talk, we can. Sure.

Okay, great.

Or we can talk after.

Yeah. Yeah.

Come on! No!

Let me tag along for a drink. You said I'd like it.

It's too soon.

Once you meet my dad and I meet your friends,

they become a part of this...

and I just want to stay in our bubble a little longer.

It's been eight weeks.

You keeping track?

Happy Anniversary

I saw it and...

I thought of you.

Open it.

Good morning.

Why do I schedule breakfast meetings?

For the bacon, I think.

But you need to lay off that until

your cholesterol's down. Why not Turkey?

Screw Turkey. I like pig.

Well, I heard a story on the news...

about a guy who ate an undercooked pork chop and...

got a worm that made his brain swell up super fast.

Uh-huh.

And to relieve the pressure, they had to cut out a chunk of his skull.

Oh, wow.

Like a triangle of his skull, they cut it right out of his head...

and they implanted it in his groin...

so it wouldn't die.

Otherwise, his brain would have...

his head would have exploded.

Mmm-hmm.

The skull was holding his brain...

which was swelling, and his head would have just exploded.

Just think of that next time you eat pig bacon.

I will.

Here you go.

Thanks, sweetie.

Thunder.

He needs training.

I'm taking him to obedience school today.

Oh! And we need a check for the painter, too.

That reminds me, I need you to sign these, honey.

What are they?

Oh, just some stuff for the accountant.

I don't even understand this.

I can't even read these anymore.

I already read it for us. You just have to sign.

No, I really don't understand this.

I feel like I need to go to brain camp.

Like, a brain camp.

Where they give you exercises for your brain?

When people have lazy eyes...

they get their eyes worked out

so they don't have to wear glasses.

Mmm-hmm.

They should have that for your brain.

Like a brain camp.

You could go lay on a beach and get tan

and drink gingko balboa all day.

You come back and you're super smart.

It's gingko biloba. Balboa was Rocky.

Right. See? See? That's why I need to go to brain camp.

Any messages?

I don't think so. I've kind of been in the zone here.

You weren't going to mention these?

Why? They're the first things you see.

Micromacks? I thought Dave Cohen was handling this merger.

No. The client said he was too emotional.

They wanted a ruthless law robot, so...

I got Micromacks.

Get Dave on the phone. I need all pertinent materials...

and a set of dates for deposition.

Why do you work so hard?

The point of being pretty is that you don't have to.

You don't see me worrying about my job, do you?

Unfortunately, no.

That's because I have a Stan, okay? He works.

I come here because it's like a hobby that pays well.

Oh, by the way, your dad called...

to confirm that you and he were still on for drinks with "Mark."

Who's Mark? The guy I'm seeing.

Obviously, but which one? The only one.

There's one guy?

And you're calling him Mark?

You never use their names!

So, Model Man Boy and Dr. Not So Smart...?

Gone.

The Hot Rabbi?

And the Hot Rabbi's Cousin? Cut them loose.

You cleared the roster.

I cleared the bench.

Wow.

You haven't dated just one guy in a long time.

It's not a big deal. It's very new.

No jinxies. I get it. It's good that Mark doesn't have a nickname.

It means he's still viable. You haven't rejected him.

He's not a donor kidney.

Not the organ I was thinking of.

Hello?

Hi. Red or white?

Red or white what? Wine.

Did you forget?

Forget what? Dinner with Phil.

You told me that was next week.

I said next week last week so it's this week.

I got to work tonight.

Again? This is the third night this week!

The guys want to do dinner. So I'll stay in the city tonight.

Why don't I meet you after your meeting?

I'll drive in to meet you in the city after your meeting!

No, you don't want to do that.

I don't mind!

We'll have so much fun!

We'll go to that hot chocolate place in the morning.

We'll cuddle and sleep in.

Screw it. I'm coming home.

Really? Aw! Really.

Family comes first. I'll see you when I get back.

I'll make a steak and salad...

Shit!

Wow, look at you!

How are you? Not too great.

Oh, what's wrong?

The housekeeper called.

A pipe burst in the bathroom... I have to go handle it.

Oh, no! You're going to Connecticut now?

I got to. There's two feet of water in my basement.

I can go with you. That'd be fun.

No, you go see your dad.

I'll see if he can meet tomorrow night.

I won't be back tomorrow night.

And what about meeting my dad?

I'm sorry, baby. I have to take a rain check.

Yeah, okay.

Don't be mad. I'm not being anything.

What do you want me to do?

Go to Connecticut.

Really? Yeah, really.

Okay.

Call me when you're done being pissed.

That might be a while.

Hi, hon.

Here, you want this? I'm switching to vodka.

Ugh!

Who orders gin?

Uh, I couldn't read the menu because I left my glasses at Nina's.

Want to know who Nina is?

Not really.

Indian girl. Beautiful.

Soft skin. We met at Trader Joe's.

She told me about this naan bread.

When did you start eating naan?

She's 24, a dance major. I eat anything she tells me to.

Ew!

Where's your guy?

I think we just broke up.

No! How come?

A pipe burst in his house and he went back to Connecticut.

And where in the story does he act like a jerk?

It's how he handled it.

You're being paranoid.

No, something feels off.

And when I get this feeling, I'm usually always right.

Oh, please! Every relationship I've ever had, something felt off.

That's probably why you're wrapping up divorce number five

with one of my sorority sisters.

You really like this guy, huh?

So forget all this bullshit and go surprise him.

It's not bullshit. It is.

Put on something sexy, get your ass out to Connecticut...

and fix that young man's plumbing.

Don't worry, you look good.

He'll love it. Who?

Whoever.

Here you go. Thanks for the ride.

Need me to wait?

Nah, I think I got it.

Hi. Hi.

I'm looking for Mark.

Oh. What's this about?

I'm Carly. You must be his housekeeper.

No, I'm his wife, Kate.

Is this some kind of stripper-gram or something?

Oh.

No. No. I have the wrong address.

I'm looking for a different Mark.

Mark Kink.

Mark King?

No! No, no.

He's a short guy? Bald?

Lives a couple of streets over on Clark.