High Road

So, just so you know, I get high a lot.

Like a lot a lot.

Any three things can be a triangle.

Any three things. You, me, the car.

Any three things without exception.

Any three things in the world can be a triangle.

Okay. What's you, me and this joint? How is that a triangle?

Because we're getting high,

and it's bringing us closer together.

Okay. I like that.

I feel like moving.

Why are you going away from me?

Are you a backseat virgin? Maybe.

Oh, my God, you're totally a backseat virgin.

I'm not. Yeah, you are.

I got my shoelace caught on my e-break.

Whoo!

Cheers. Cheers.

Abundant smokehouses there tonight, of the people who were there.

Why don't you call girls girls? Smokehouses?

Just call them girls. It's this kind of insensitivity

that will prevent you from ever getting premium trim.

God! Ew. What?

Oh, my God!

I'm sorry. But you're like my brothers.

What does that mean?

Yeah. Why did you say "trim"? "Trim"? "Premium trim"?

Okay, let's just clear the air, okay?

I like a girl's sniz. "Sniz"?

I love having a mouthful of smacker.

What's smacker?

The southern muscle.

What? The muscle.

Southern muscle? Ugh!

Below the equator lives a muscle, and...

Oh, my God. Put your hand down, please.

You talk like a car salesman when you talk about girls.

I wanna talk to you. I am getting bumped up the ladder at CCR.

All right! Oh, that's great.

I am not gonna be able to attend rehearsals

with the same amount of frequency that we have...

I can't go to as many... I can't go to as many rehearsals.

Okay. I can go to no rehearsals.

And similarly, we're gonna have to scale back shows on my end.

I cannot go to any shows.

So I'm going on a hiatus for a while.

So you're quitting the band?

No, I'm not quitting the band, but I am taking, again,

a hiatus that will last indefinitely and probably permanent.

Actually, uh, um...

Uh...

Sheila and I got... We're gonna headline the Roxy next Saturday night.

That's awesome. Oh, my God!

Everybody was saying their good news. I wanted to say our good news.

I didn't wanna tell you, 'cause I didn't want you to freak out.

We're doing better than Tor Eagle.

Right now. I am learning many instruments.

That's why you got that fife. Mm-hmm.

I don't think that we...

I don't have time for Tor Eagle anymore.

Are you quitting the band too? I'm not quitting.

I just need to maybe take a break,

'cause we're doing better.

Define "better."

We're getting paid to do shows.

It's like Michael Jackson was good in the beginning, but then he sucked.

Now he sucks 'cause he's fucking dead just like we're fucking dead.

You guys are the doctor who killed Michael Jackson.

You guys are killing Tor Eagle. He was doing the best he could.

That's so mean. You're on the doctor's side.

You would be on the doctor's side. I am on the doctor's side.

Fucking shit. Malpractice suits are rampant.

I'm saying this is not a bad thing.

This is out of the ashes the phoenix will rise.

I wanna be in a band. I've wanted to be in a band forever,

and now, all of a fucking sudden, I'm not in a band.

And my best fucking friends don't even give me any warning.

You give Starbucks two weeks, assholes.

Oh, that... No, that's an old wives' tale.

You don't. It's just one week.

I worked there.

Well, I got two minutes.

So I guess tonight was our last gig.

Thanks for letting me know.

Ah...

Shit.

Shut... Shut up.

Jimmy!

Let's go! Get down here!

Jimmy! Here you go.

Listen, I want you going to school today, okay?

I don't want you running around the neighborhood doing whatever it is you do.

Hey! You understand that? Yes or no? What?

Yes.

Look, I get it, okay? I get it.

Mom's not here anymore, and it sucks.

But I'm dealing with it.

And you need to start dealing with it, too, all right?

And go to school today. Jesus Christ!

What's up, dude? Hey.

I'm gonna sit down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm working in my office.

Baby-cakes, I'm leaving. Oh.

Bye. Bye.

Mmm!

I made you lunch. You did?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Monica, this is Jimmy. Ohh!

Hello. Hi.

He's a neighborhood kid I'm helping out.

Kind of mentoring him or, like, whatever.

Oh. That's nice.

Jimmy, do you want a cookie? Uh, yeah. Okay.

Hey. Yo, yo. Fitz man. Hey, dude.

You're early.

You've met Uncle Creepy, right?

He's my buddy. I don't think I have, no.

He's like a buddy from old days.

It's Bob, okay?

Very nice to meet you. Not Creepy.

All right. Awesome.

The rock opera is based on the triangle theory.

It's like a triangle theory. Like all things in the universe

are, like... they come in threes,

so they're connected in groups of three.

So, like, you and me would be, like, you, me and weed.

I... No...

It's like Jimmy and me, I guess.

It's like me and Jimmy and the garage.

Right. Everything's a triangle.

Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You get it. Yeah.

You get it. Okay.

Boom, kaboom. Cool.

Dude, thank you. Great. Yeah.

You wanna play some PS3 or something?

Let me tell you a story. Okay.

I was in Miami covering Haiti.

Did you then go to Haiti?

No. But turns out

there was a real story in Miami

about transportation to Haiti. Oh, okay.

And Wolf Blitzer came through the airport.

He did? Yeah.

And I was like, "Hey, Wolf." He's like, "Barry."

Were you starstruck? Well, I mean, we go back.

You do? Yeah.

You're friends? Well...

You used to be friends? Yeah.

Wow! I mean, we have...

We have... I had no... That's awesome!

We're brothers in news.

So you used to, like, hang out or what?

How does that work? Yeah.

I mean, you know...

He'll...

He'll watch a segment of mine,

and then, like, I'll see him on the news that night,

and I'll just sort of be, like, I can see it...

that he, like, was inspired by my piece.

Anyway, he said to me,

"Barry, the news game...

it's a marathon, not a sprint."

And then he just went right through airport security, straight to Haiti.

I want you to think about two things. Okay.

Number one... Yeah.

What's my future look like...

Yeah.

With a rock opera guy?

Number two...

What's my future look like in the news game?

And how to they interrelate?

Dear Glen,

life is dyn-o-mite.

Let's be friends again.