Daffy Duck's Quackbusters

"And then, Nose-man takes the ax

and chops his way into the city's inner sanctum."

And then what? Then what?

Ah! Here it is. Nose-man says:

"This place is malodorous. Chock full of malignancies."

Gads, this comic's a real page-turner.

It's slopping over with gripping suspense.

Let's see now, let's see. Uh, Nosey says:

"Do my nostrils detect the overpowering stench

of a prehistoric monster?"

He turns around and--

Ah! Smogzilla.

"Story continued in Hideous Tales, Issue Number 177.

Gee, that's nice.

"Story continued in Hideous Tales 177"?

Where is it? Where is it?

It's a veritable collector's item.

Quick, you're on in five seconds.

What? Who? Where? Huh?

Gee, tough audience.

Hmm.

Say, this stuff works great.

Take it, Ghoulie.

Thank you. Thank you.

So are you folks enjoying yourselves?

Hi, Frankie. How's the missus?

Look, it's mummy dearest.

Still all wrapped up in yourself, I see.

And-- Whoa, it appears we have a celebrity in our midst.

That 22-ton terror of Tokyo town,

that towering colossus of scaly reptilian bulk.

Of course, I'm talking about--

Throw a spot on him, would you, fellas?

Smogzilla!

So, Smog baby, leveled any major cities lately?

You know, folks,

Smogzilla's just like any unemployed actor.

Except that when he pounds the pavement,

it registers a 10 on the Richter scale.

Aw. What's the matter?

The public not buying those cheap special effects anymore?

A dream. It was all a dream.

Heh-heh-heh. Smogzilla.

You was expecting maybe Calvin Coolidge?

Right this way, folks. Right this way.

It's a bargain at any price.

Step right up and get yourself a brand-new DeLorean.

No household should be without one.

Just $60,000 in three easy weekly installments.

Yes, sir, these little babies are selling like hotcakes.

Plus, there's a free six-pack of ice-cold Billy Beer

with every purchase.

They're sturdy, they're dependable,

they're factory fresh.

They're-- They're--

Hmm. Slightly used. They're--

Sticky Glue.

So strong it can suspend this cow from an iron girder.

And so easy to use.

Just place between the thumb and forefinger,

gently squeeze, and--

And, uh, it really sticks.

Uh, like that there.

I represent the Excelsior Appliance

and Appurtenance Company

with a complete line of household appliances

and appurt--

Is the lady of the house in?

No!

Here you are, folks.

Step right up. Step right up.

My company has authorized me to offer, at slashed prices,

this complete line of laugh provokers.

The little gem flower squirter.

Now, don't crowd. Don't crowd.

Well, isn't anybody gonna crowd?

Anybody?

How about a Joe Miller joke book?

Eh. Laughs galore.

Ajax rib-tickler, ma'am. Amuse your boyfriend.

It's used like a--

It's nice.

Special price on Chicken Inspector badge, sir.

It's only 13 cents.

Amuse your friends with a 200-volt electric hand buzzer.

It's shocking.

We interrupt this program

for the latest news on the health of tycoon

and financier, J.P. Cubish.

Special bulletin. J.P. Cubish, the multimillionaire,

is in a critical condition.

The ailing buzz-saw baron,

who has not laughed in 50 years,

has been quoted saying he'd give a million dollars

for one good laugh before he passes on.

Suffering succotash, what am I waiting for?

I'll make that old sad sack bust a seam laughing.

Hmm. Imposing-looking pile.

Yes?

Your troubles are over, Jeeves.

Lead me to your stricken master.

Be gone.

Can't go in, huh? Uh, no.

Oh, well, no hard feelings. Shake.

Cigarette?

Oh, you can see him. You can see him.

Right this way.

And that's just a sample.

Just a sample, Ruggles,

of what I can do for your master.

Through here, sir.

Thank you, boy.

Watch that first step, Meadows. It's a dilly.

I was a bit dusty.

Zenith Little Giant Wall-Scaler.

What did you do to my teeth?

What--?

Pop!

Skol. Skol.

Gulp.

Gulp.

Whoops! How are things in Glocca Mora?

Once and for all, I'm going to--

Not so fast, my man Godfrey.

It becomes increasingly apparent that I'm not wanted around here.

Are we to assume that there is anything significant

in this attitude of yours?

That A, a butler might not want his master

to recover his good health?

But I-- That B,

said butler should endeavor to remove from the premises

the only person capable of restoring

said health to said master?

No, no.

Where were you the night of April the 16th?

I-- I--

A likely story.

I see it all now. You and the upstairs maid.

"Do the old boy in," you said.

"Elderberry wine and old lace," you said.

Then, "The quick getaway," you said.

Rio de Janeiro, tropical nights, romance,

and a heavy bank account.

No. No. Yes. Yes.

But you weren't smart enough, John, alias Johnnie.

Alias Jack.

Alias Jackie. Phew.