10 Things I Hate About You

So, after waiting 5 hours for Joey's aunt to get hooched up enough to pass out.'

We had full access to her infinity pool and hot tub.

Of course we forgot our swimsuits but that didn't stop us.

And that's how they invented tan jellos.

Chastity, I was a little sick last week

are tan jellos like a slang word for something?

Sorry ladies, but this story is NC-17.

I can't serve it to minors.

Just because I moved from Ohio doesn't mean I'm some... naive little farm girl.

My neighborhood was pretty sketch.

You wouldn't believe the number of prostitutes who'd been hanging around our cul-the-sac.

Oh, that is so cute.

You brought a little kitty for... nap time?

It's my lucky charm.

Okay, you got me. I use it to smoke heroin.

Honey, something's wrong?

I'm in the middle of a major crisis.

Chastity thinks I'm a goody goody which means the whole school will

That is a major crisis.

Ranks right up there with the global recession and the collpase of the Artic shelf.

Let's turn on the radio, see if Bono wrote a song about you.

Sarcasm never helps, you should be proud of yourself, Bianca...

Good reputation can take you places,

in politics, in business, in this house.

Dad, we're in California now. Home to medical marijuana,

the Kardashians, the pantieless crotch flash...

Good girls don't sit at the popular table.

Maybe it wouldn't bother you so much

if your self esteem wasn't based on what other people think.

See, that's why, you, have no social life.

I need to change my image. I'd narrowed it down to getting a lip side

dye my hair pink, or dressing like a Pussycat Doll.

No face piercing, no alternative hair colors.

No put... what's a Pussycat Doll?

Multi-hyphenates strippers who sing

Why don't tell people you are a groupie

Or one of those White House interns

Or some idiot who gives birth to a baby at the prom

and didn't even know they're pregnant.

That is a genius idea, dad!

Thanks, I can tell everyone I had a baby.

Way to go, grandpa.

Oh, she's going to hate those pretend stretch marks.

Funny.

10 things I hate about you

S01E04

Did you watch "Datelane" last night?

I cannot believe they have it run out at predators.

You missed!

He's not gonna pick that up.

Don't mess with him. He'll kill you, literally.

That's what he wants you to think.

Kat, he comes from a long line of criminals.

I heard his dad in prison for skinning a man alive.

Okay, well, his gene pool gives him an excuse to kill. Not litter.

Be careful, his mom is a Mexican drug lord.

Pick it up.

Oh, do you have trouble hearing?

Real mature!

I just like to watch you bend over.

Oh that's nothing. You should watch me do this...

Now you know how the Earth feels.

It's called Peacocking, bro'.

All the celebrity dudes are doing it.

Like Pitt, Justin Timberlake. Even that Marvin guy in the Real World.

I don't know, it feels weird drawing attention to my neck.

You'll never gonna get Bianca in your Bill Gates wardrobe

without the man scrilla to back it up.

Okay, but are you sure it doesn't make me look like a choreographer?

You look great.

I have a big fat favor to ask.

Oooh, I don't respond to fat..

Ok, small skinny favor then.

Can I lie and say I am at your house after school?

It is for a good reason.

I'm dating this older guy and my dad will freak if he found out.

How much older, is older?

26 or maybe 31, it's hard to tell.

He feels weird about the age difference. It's adorable.

The oldest guy I've ever been with was my camp counselor.

I know what you're gonna say, "Bianca this can't go anywhere"

and you're right, but he's so hot and when he blows on my neck...

I... I have already said too much, promise you won't tell.

Oh come on Bianca... you can truly trust me.

Hey Bianca.

Hey Cameron, you got a nice scarf. Talk later.

This peacock needs more feathers.

Tell me what happened.

He littered.

Which apparently triggered some sort of psychotic break.

Right, right, because I'm a woman, I'm emotionally unstable. What a stereotype.

Mister Verona, since you love trash so much,

you can spend the afternoon in detention picking it up.

But she's the one who... Don't try to pin it on her.

Whatever happened is obviously your fault. It always is.

You're kidding me, right? I don't kid.

Between the hours of 8 and 3.

Goodbye.

Oh, hey, he forgot his backpack.

You can go, unless you wanna help me hire a new lunch lady.

Why do they wear their hairnets to these interviews. I'll never understand.

Don't you think that that was a little harsh?

I mean you don't even know what happened, what about "innocent until proven guilty? "

Are you representing him now Mrs. Dershowitz?

Patrick Verona has spent more time in this office than I have.

For what? Here, let me get his file for you.

Oh wait a minute, it says here it's none of your business.

Okay, here's the thing. He did litter.

Repeatedly, and I think he enjoyed it.

But I may have overreacted a little when I... kicked the trash can over on him.

It's very noble of you to confess.

Thank you. So he doesn't have detention?

No, you have it with him.

But I suggest you keep your distance.

Have you ever poked a monkey in a cage.

You poke him enough times, he'll bite you back.

Yeah, he'll bite back.

Bianca.

If I were to buy a book about a girl named Bianca and an older guy

where would I find it? Fiction, or non-fiction?

Oh, definitely, non-fiction.

So it's not true. No, it's true.

Wow, cool, dating older dudes is a textbook supermodel maneuver.

Give me some.

Mr. Ross, hi, who invented geometry?

I say it's was Pythagoras but Belinda says Euclid.

Well, Euclid was known as the father of geometry though technically he didn't invent it

he just wrote it all down. I knew you'd know. You know everything.

Well, not everything, but most things.

Okay.

Bianca, you mind sticking around goign over your test?

Was it my ink choice? I like working in fuschia, it relaxes me.

You skipped an entire page of the test, I mean

assuming you don't hate isosceles triangles.

"Hate" is a strong word, I prefer to call our relationship "rocky".

That was very funny.

I can't believe it. She is totally having an affair with Mr. Ross.

I'm so jealous. I hate her.

I can't believe she's making me return Patrick's bag.

Let him get his own Sherpa. It's not ticking.

Good, because my bombs defusing skills are a little rusty

I am so tempted to just toss it in the dumpster.

First, let's look through it. That's an invasion of privacy.

How would you like somebody go thrugh your stuff?

I wouldn't care, do you want to look through my bag?

Not really. Oh no is coming in time

Come on, don't. This is not cool.

Kat, it would be irresponsible not to open it.

What if there are murder weapons in here?

What's in there?

It's just as I thought. Before he kills,

he uses a lighter to burn off his fingerprints

Then he uses those gloves to strangle people.

And the clippers to cut off souvenirs body parts.

And what are the anti acids for, Sherlock?

Maybe what he does is so horrificly vicious