Why Women Kill

Previously on Why Women Kill..

It's waterproof.

So it's safe from my tears of joy.

What's wrong? Am... am I embarrassing you?

- At least take the flowers. - No!

If you won't accept this simple gift,

then what does that say about our future?

We have no future.

- Tommy Harte? - Amy?

I don't know if you're seeing anyone these days,

but I could really use some cheering up.

I was... seeing someone.

But, uh, she recently broke up with me.

Love is always a risk.

The chance for love doesn't come around every day.

Are you free Friday?

Yes, lover.

"Ma'am" will be fine.

Now that Jade's gonna live with us,

we gotta have some way to introduce her.

Well, why don't we just say she's family?

I love that.

Jade, what's going on?

- Duke is gonna kill Teacup. - Teacup?

Our dog. He says if I don't meet with him,

he's gonna put her down.

For the last two years,

I've been pathetic Eli who... who can't finish a screenplay,

who can't help pay the bills.

I just need a fucking win.

I just want to feel like a man

and save a dog

and have that be good enough.

Jade!

April is very sweet.

She's so free-spirited.

You wouldn't believe the fun we have together.

Try one.

You know, marijuana?

I don't think it's working.

You're acting like

you're drunk.

That might be the pot.

- Pot? - It's marijuana.

We will talk about this later.

I want to be a singer.

Really?

I'm gonna be somebody someday.

I want to be a mommy.

I want to be a movie star.

I want to be a superhero.

Saving the world.

Taking care of my baby.

Going to parties in high heels.

Handsome.

Nice.

Democrat.

What?

Is that a joke?

That couldn't happen.

So?

Um, what'd you think, Mr. Porter?

Not bad, kid.

Not bad.

Really? So I got the job?

It's just one night, but...

if it goes well, we could talk about something more permanent.

Oh, my God. Thank you so much.

I'll see you Tuesday.

Did you hear that?

Oh, April, your first singing gig.

Promise me you'll come.

- Tuesday night? - Mm-hmm.

I wouldn't miss it.

Wonderful.

And you'll finally get to meet Rob.

What?

I told him that there was a chance

that I could be booking this gig,

and he already agreed to come.

- Oh. - I'll put you two at a table together.

That way you can get to know each other.

Can't wait.

You'll have to help me find something to wear.

I'm thinking maybe that blue dress

- with the sequins. - Oh, yes, that's nice.

Is something wrong?

Actually, I just remembered,

my aunt Lydia is getting an operation Tuesday.

- An operation? - Mm, to...

fix her bunion.

I agreed to bring her home from the hospital

and look after her. All night.

Well, can you get someone else to look after her?

You can't miss my show.

I already promised.

And it's... such a big bunion.

This is about Rob, isn't it?

What?

Just admit it.

You don't want to meet him

because you don't approve of Rob and I's relationship.

Believe me, that is not the reason.

I'm telling you, we're lost.

Well, maybe if you'd asked for directions

when we got off the highway...

Maybe if you'd picked a motel closer than 30 miles away...

Oh, I think we go left here?

Oh, we're going in circles.

This is the third time we've passed that wino.

Well, it's too dark to read the signs.

Oh, stop and I'll ask at the liquor store.

We're on Pike Street.

Show me the map.

Move along, kid.

Sorry, we were just leaving.

Not you, sweet cheeks. You're busted.

- Busted? For what? - Soliciting.

You think I'm a hooker?

For God's sake, I'm wearing Yves Saint Laurent.

I didn't say you weren't successful.

Uh, she's with me, sir.

She was just asking directions

because we got lost.

Relax, kid. I'm doing you a favor.

You don't want your first time to be with a pro.

How dare you?

I'm a well-known philanthropist.

I don't need to know your specialty.

- Let's go. - What?

- Uh... - Come on.

Hey! Seriously, sir, she's my girlfriend.

I find that hard to believe.

Well, show him your license.

My... Oh, uh...

Uh...

If we just met, how do I know his name is Tommy Harte

and that he lives in Pasadena

at 74 Oakhurst Drive?

His birthday is March 10.

Okay.

So, if you're a couple from Pasadena,

why are you going to a motel in Azusa?

We are having an illicit affair.

We've driven 30 miles to avoid being spotted

by his mother, who is my best friend,

and my husband, who is gay.

Well, I got to give you points for creativity.

Have fun, kid.

Eli! Hey, can you walk Teacup for me?

I'm helping Taylor pack for her trip.

- Yeah, sure. - Thanks.

Still going to Fresno, huh?

I have to. This conference has been on the books for months.

Honey, the people at your firm know that we were attacked.

I mean, they wouldn't blink if you opted out.

I know, but I told my sisters I'm coming to town,

and they're still threatening to visit this summer,

so we kind of want to break the news

about our living situation before that happens.

Why don't you just shoot them a text?

- I'm not gonna tell my sisters I'm in a throuple via text. - Yeah.

Just make sure you tell them it was your idea, not mine.

- But it was your idea. - Yeah,

but your sisters hate me enough as it is.

We don't need to throw any more gas on that fire.

You haven't met them yet, but they're awful.

All right, Teacup.

Whoa, here we go.

Yeah.

- Lamar. - Oh!

You do know who I am.

I was curious

'cause you've been avoiding me for weeks.

No, no, no. No, I...

I-I was absolutely gonna call you back, man.

I just... I've been incredibly busy.

I see you had time to get a dog.

Oh, forgot to tell you.

You'll like this.

Finally had that threesome.

I would ask what one has to do with the other,

but never the fuck mind.

- Where is my script? - Script?

The one you promised would be done a month ago?

The one I talked up to Paramount.

Got 'em all excited, and now they're pissed off

wondering what happened to it.

Well, it-it's almost done.

I'm just... making a few final tweaks.

Oh, please.

The only line older than that is "let there be light."

No, I'm not lying. Look, I-I swear to you...

I swear to you, I will have it to you in one week.

No. You got 24 hours.

Starting now.

Come on, man, we're supposed to be friends.

Look, I am your friend. Any other agent would have

kicked your ass to the curb long ago.

Okay, well, yeah, and of course,