Zola

You wanna hear a story about how me and this bitch here fell out?

It's kinda long, but it's full of suspense.

You could taste that shit before he walked through the door.

It was fart. It was egg. It was nasty.

What you call it again when their skin get red like that?

- Rosacea? - Yup. I saw that shit on TV.

Why it get like that?

Gracias.

Here we go. I'll get you some ketchup.

I didn't like that place.

There was just something about it.

It had the wrong air flow.

- I didn't tell you? - Mm-mm.

It was like the energy was off.

What table am I at?

Thanks, guys.

The closer you are to the city, the prettier the girls.

I don't make the rules.

Hormones in the food help out hormones in the water.

Chicken taste like real chicken.

- Nah, that ain't chicken. - Right.

- Y'all got jalapeño poppers? - We don't.

So I met this white bitch at my job.

I was her waitress.

She came in with this old-ass, big-ass black dude.

Damn, bitch, you got perfect titties!

I wish I had titties like that.

- They look just like little apples. - Thank you.

So you just gonna pull that dyke shit right in front of me and not include me?

You so dumb. Like, why you so dumb?

Every one of my tables is fruit loops.

You said it, not me.

I'm tired. I'm gonna take a break.

Girl...

I feel like we met.

- When? - I don't know. You dance?

- Sometimes. - I dance.

- Okay, bitch, me too. - Cute.

You're not supposed to be back here.

- What you doing tonight? - Nothing.

You wanna go somewhere with me?

Same bitch that won't dance for money

be the same bitch that be out on the block.

Same bitch that wanna smile in your face

be the same bitch that gonna come for you later.

Period!

Oh, God!

Oh, God!

Like, why you on my Twitter?

Why you on my Facebook? Why you on my Tumblr?

Why are you dm-ing me?

- Sis, why you tagging me on photos? - Sis!

- You don't even fuck with me. - Sis!

- Lemme know! Lemme know! - Sis.

- Lemme... - Yeah, sis!

You gonna get that?

She looks like you.

You think so?

I think she looks like her daddy.

He got a lazy eye, though. I hope she don't get that.

You got kids?

Time to go.

I'm hungry.

Put your number in.

You got my Twitter, my Tumblr and my Facebook.

Follow for follow, bitch.

Ay.

Hey, you wanna play this?

Come on, jump on it.

- Tsk. - Oh. Shit, man!

I don't feel like cooking tonight. Where you wanna go?

You want me to choose?

Have you heard anything I said?

Yo, why you looking at me like that?

Yo, am I missing something here?

Hey.

Last month I went dancing at this cute spot in Florida

where my roommate's girl make like 5 Gs a night.

My roommate just told me

that he going down there tomorrow

and he asked me if I had any friends that wanna make some money

and you the first bitch I thought of.

Damn, bitch! We just met yesterday

and you already trying to take ho trips together?

When we leaving?

Be ready by 2:00.

Who's all going?

Be ready by 2:00!

Who's all going?

Me, my boyfriend, and my roommate.

Last time I was there, I met a rapper who had a song on the radio.

Hey, who is that?

Text me your address.

You just dropped me off the other night.

You think I remember, bitch? I don't know where I am right now.

I'm gonna have to fuck my nigga calm.

Cute.

Yo, what's that look on your face?

- I'm going to Florida to dance. - Since when?

Did I ever say anything to make you stop dancing?

You've been trained to know better.

Oh, so, I'm trained?

When a man don't have anything to say about the way you make your money,

he don't like it.

So, what if I don't? You know I'm working on getting a better job.

Mm-hmm.

- You like that? - I do.

I'mma go to Florida with this white girl I met and we gonna dance.

- Good? - Good.

- Are you close? - No!

Okay. Whoo!

Hey, bitch!

This is gonna be so fun.

- It's my bitch, Zola. - Hey, bitch Zola.

It'll be 48 hours till I know this nigga's name.

Baby bitch Zola.

This is gonna be so fun.

- That's my purse. - Oh, yeah. Sorry.

- Thank you. - You got it.

Let's do it! The Tampa crew!

How you doin'? Yo, Derrek, let's go!

Hey. Hey. Hey!

Yeah!

- Oh, damn! - I'm dying!

I'm dying! Show Zola.

He be doing the funniest shit, Zola.

I ain't seen him do no funny shit yet.

Yo, I'm gonna make videos like this.

Premium.

I'm so hungry, I could eat a dick right now.

You got a tissue?

I swear on my life! I swear on my momma's life!

I was like... like, "what?" Like, "huh?"

Like, this dookie-ass bitch with a nappy-ass head was up in my face!

I was like, "Look, if you gonna slide up and down a pole all night

in some doo-do-ass drawers, clean your butt!

Like, have you some wet wipes, boo-boo,

'cause nobody lookin' to get giardia on account of no ho!"

Like, not again!

Then this bitch was up in my face!

I was like, "Look, booger bitch, best get your ghetto ass up out my face.

It's not my fault you nasty!

It's not my fault I make more money than you!"

- "Clean your butt!" - "It's not my fault you nasty!

It's not my fault I make more money than you!"

"Clean your butt!"

On God!

Turn that shit the fuck up!

- Word. - Yeah!

- Yo! Derrek. - What's this?

A little spot, just for a couple of hours.

- All of us? - Thought you was tired.

- I'm not tired. - You look tired.

I guess I'm tired.

You already look pretty.

Baby.

You know they filmed Miami Vice around here?

Mm-mm.

- You remember that movie? - I don't.

- Well, you've seen it. - Look at those lips.

You like it? You don't think it's too pink?

- Mm-mm. I wanna lick them. - Okay, chill.

- Yo, yo... - My bad.

- Take care of your own shit. - My bad. Oh.

So, we get to Florida and show up at this nasty motel.

Don't worry about the smell.

Ain't nothing a little air freshener can't handle.

We gonna be at the club all night.

This room for Derrek. Do not trip.

Don't trip.

Yo. Yo, I'm not trying to stay here, for real.

Hey, hey, hey.

I don't wanna see your face like that.

You only gotta be here till they get done with what they gotta do.

Our room's not ready. What can I do?

I'm not a hotel. I can't make it ready.

- I got that. - It don't make any sense

putting a bunch of money into a room you gonna be in all alone.

You're not gonna like that. So...

We save money today...

What?

...and get to the pool and the piña coladas tomorrow.

Exactamente . Yeah, um...

but can I just come with you guys to the club?

Nigga, what did I just tell you?

- Hey. - I'm sorry.

It's not so bad, is it?

Yo, it kinda is.

We'll be back soon.

Whose is that?

Yours.

And whose is this?

Mine.

Mm.

Gonna make me throw up.

Yo, I'm hungry.

You need all your bags? Which one you really need?

Just this one.

Okay, I'll leave this one right here, a'ight? Watch them bags for us, a'ight?

- A'ight. - Cool.