Fixed

Mr. Big Stuff

Who do you think you are?

Mr. Big Stuff

You're never gonna get my love

Now because you wear All those fancy clothes

And drive a big fine car

Oh yes, you do now

Do you think I can afford To give you my love

Aw, what a cute little mutt.

Hey there, little guy.

Aw.

Dad, what's in the box?

Family, I'd like to introduce you to…

…Bull.

-Aw! -What a sweet boy!

-He's so cute. -Such a sweet little guy.

This is your home now. Look, Nana. My new little brother.

Oh my goodness, what a little pudge cake.

I think he likes you, Nana.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. So good.

Oh, oh, oh!

You've always been amazing.

Oh, you are my one and only.

Well, there's lots of others, but you are my favorite.

Really.

Oh, oh.

Oh, Nana!

Oh, you feel so good.

Right?

Who doesn't love their nana?

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Are you into it?

Both of us gotta be into it.

Two-way enjoying.

Gotta be feeling that, right?

Who's your good boy? Who's your good boy?

Here we go!

Buckle up!

What's happened? Where… where are my glasses?

My lipstick? What's that doing there?

Yeah, that's my dick.

Mom? Are you okay?

What the fuck?

How many times have I told you to stop humping Nana?

Having trouble running. Still gotta finish here.

My dick is on fire!

Oh yeah. Sweet, minty relief.

Leave it. Goddamn it, Bull.

Oh, Bull!

Bull, you little shit!

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Bull!

Hey, Bull.

Oh, hey, Honey.

What's up, girl? How's it going?

Oh, you know, everything's good. How's Nana?

Nana? Why-- What-- Why-- Why would you ask about Nana all of a sudden?

It's weird. It's like, who cares about Nana?

You know what I mean?

I don't know. I'm smelling a musty odor and a certain potpourri and menthol scent,

and, um, I'm not gonna lie to you, your pinky dinky is out.

Oh, that? No, that's just morning wood.

Not a big deal.

-At 2:30? -Well, after-lunch wood?

What? Do you girls not get that?

Let me just take care of it.

Enough is enough. This has to stop!

So, yeah, you were saying--

Oh, Bull, Bull, Bull.

You've been tapping Nana since we were pups.

She's nothing but trouble. When are you gonna learn?

I know. I'm sick.

But she just smells so old.

It's enchanting.

You need to stop. Just cut it off.

Go cold turkey.

Trust me, I've tried. Thanksgiving dinner was never the same.

What, they didn't like their turkey tenderized and creamy?

Girl, you are disgusting.

I'm not the one fucking dead turkeys.

Oh yeah. Good one. Got me.

Yeah, like I fuck dead turkeys. Get out of here with that.

Mm-hmm. Sure, I think a Cornish hen is more your size anyway.

It's tighter where it counts.

So, what're you up to?

Well, I got the dog show coming up this week,

so, just practicing my smooth gait.

Left, right, rear-left, rear-right, left, right, rear-left…

Wow. It's like you're walking and skipping all at the same time.

I don't get the whole dog show scene.

Everyone's trying to be the best version of the same thing?

But what if you're different? Is that bad?

And then after all the judging, they grope you?

They aren't groping me.

They are gently touching my body and judging me based on how it feels.

Who are these people?

You know, dog lovers.

They document our lineage, keep tabs on what the standard should be,

and breed us properly for the ultimate perfect specimen.

We're like the royal family of our species.

Oh, my queen.

I have located the perfect specimen for you to breed with.

Oh, have you?

Well, I do say then, who is this chosen one?

I am Lord Duke, the Earl of Awesomeness, Sir Studley,

and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

You are quite below my usual standards.

But I am feeling generous,

so you may partake in the royal penis.

Oh my! Sir Studley, I would be honored.

Shall we proceed?

Absolutely, yeah. Proceeding's what I-- What I did--

I wanna do. Let's proceed with it.

I just thought we would probably proceed with the next part

after we kept going back and forth.

Oh! You thinking about Nana, or should I be flattered?

-Bull, walk! -Gotta go. That's my walk.

All right, Sir Studley, I'll be along shortly.

We shall continue at the park.

Shit, that got hot out of nowhere.

Gotta be ready next time I bust out the old accent.

Adorable.

Hey, hey, hey.

There's my little monster. You ready to go for a walk, big guy?

Okay, okay, I know.

Very exciting. Let me get this on you.

Hey, hey!Hey, what?

Come on!Come on!

There's my horny little maniac.

Who loves you, huh? Who loves you?

Come on, boy. You ready to go?

Holy crap! I gotta shit!

I gotta pee now! I gotta pee!

Thank God! I've been holding this all day!

I need to go!

Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go!

Fucking hell! Get me to the grass!

Oh! This shit is coming!

Pee, pee, pee, pee!

Poo, poo, poo, poo, poo.

Gotta go, gotta go!

Oh yeah.

Fuck off.

Oh!

What smells like nylon and varicose veins?

Oh, it's Bull's dick.

Oh, look, it's Rocco, the ball-less wonder.

I don't get your thing with Nana.

Why don't you just lick yourself like every other dog?

Ah, I tried.

I just don't like the way I taste.

See, I like my taste quite a lot. It's like summertime in the country.

Blackberries with cinnamon and a touch of mint.

So, anyways, Rocco, you should have seen it.

Honey was all over me.

She wanted to breed with me and everything.

Right. 'Cause last week, you said she licked your face.

She totally did.

Because you smeared your fucking face in peanut butter.

Was there peanut butter? I don't-- There could have been.

Listen, mate, just simply tell her you love her.

Love?

What are you talking about?

Yeah, me and my boys aren't really into those purebred showgirls.

'Course. Yeah, no, Honey is definitely not right for you.

You've known her your whole life. She is your absolute fucking best friend.

Who would want that?

Oh, hey, Bull.

Ooh, you fucked Nana again, huh?

What are you wearing?

It's Business Mondays.

It's demeaning, is what it is.

Yeah, well, my 900 followers don't think so.

Mother says they love it.

It's so weird that you call your human "Mother."

Fetch, no one's following you.

Yes, they are, on Mother's phone.

They comment on my pictures like a little face with heart eyes.

And "I'm screaming!" And, "Oh my God, literally dead."

And Mother even got me a sponsorship,

so now I get free dental treats.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Fetch, you're a valued member of the pack,

but you cannot hang out with us if you're gonna pretend to be human.

It is disgusting.

Ah. Whatever, you guys are just jealous.

Uh… Hi, Lucky.

Hey, guys. What's up?

Oh God. What are you eating?

Oh, this? It's a flaxseed protein bar.

It's a little pre-playtime pick-me-up.

Lucky, you're eating cat shit.

What?No way.

Oh, mm. Yeah, no, I think you might be right.

You're still eating it.

Oh God, yeah.

Well, that's disgusting.

Seems like you enjoyed it.

Nope.

Disgusting.