Black comedy (2014) (黑色喜劇)

There are different kinds of people in this world.

I can classify them into 2 categories.

Good guys and bad guys.

If you just look them quickly.

You can hardly tell

a good guy from a bad guy.

Some seem like good guys.

But turn out to be bad guys gradually.

Some guys seem bad,

while in fact they are good.

And some of them are somewhere between good and evil.

Not easy, right?

From past to present, we all know that

good guys go to heaven after death

while bad guys would go to hell.

But the world has become more complicated though.

Listen.

I am the Senior Inspector,

Wong Kai Fat of East Kowloon.

Don't come in! I am gonna kill her!

- Don't! - Would you guys please surrender?

Don't waste our time.

And I wanna go home

to catch the ending of a TV series.

Your mother is the one I love.

Damn it!

Did you call our "Super Detective"?

Yes, he's coming!

Sir, it's my fault that

I also sent it to Johnny by mistake.

What the hell?

My name is Johnny Doo. From age 18 till now.

Everyday before I leave home,

my parent would argue...

What they argued about this morning is that my daddy is gay.

Sometimes, I think it's meaningless for me to live on.

2km/h, 8000rpm

Super Detective!...

Awesome.

Sir.

Officer Wong.

What information do you have?

Those gangsters are fierce.

They got 5 hostages.

They are armed with machine guns and Aks.

They will kill anyone who enters, it won't be easy.

Don't worry, let me handle it.

Thanks, Madam Wong.

Johnny is here, sir.

Vest.

- No need. - Give the order, sir.

Go to the restaurant next door.

Are there gangsters in that restaurant?

No.

"Super" just moved in, it will be over soon.

Johnny, please help me out.

You make a big mess every time.

I will be retiring soon, I don't want to mess everything before I leave.

Sir, "Super" is coming out.

So fast.

Excuse me, Excuse me.

Hero! are you alright?

Hero...

It hurts...

Sure, it really hurts.

It really is my heart.

I am still worrying about something.

Don't worry, I will take care of your family.

Remember...

Remember... help me...

Help me...

to recharge the parking meter.

Hero!

Johnny.

Why can't all the bad guys on Earth be killed?

My dream is being a cop.

In fact, I want to join G4 to protect the Chief Executive.

It's a dream job for me.

However, I am too short,

I went through hell to become a cop.

I try my best to catch every criminal I come across.

I want to prove that even short guys can be good cops.

And it's my honor

to die in the line of my duty.

I have.

Shit!

Stop that!

Or I Will kill you, ok?

You have no more bullets though.

It will also be 3 on 1.

Yeah.

Double fist.

You're cheating

I'm just imagining this,

this is now happening...

Double fist.

Even if I solve a case, I will not get a promotion.

Thanks.

Let me handle the media.

- Say something. - Everybody.

Today, under my leadership,

all the gangsters involved got arrested.

Death is coming?

What are you looking at?

Look!

What?

The sissy in white.

What sissy?

Are you nuts?

Am I dying?

You are still alive now.

But I am not sure about later.

Don't you remember you applied for a leave for today?

You have to attend your girlfriend's birthday party, right?

You're gonna be a dead meat if you don't go now.

If love sleeps deeply in your heart

and drifts out in ripples

but it can't fill up your emptiness,

don't push yourself too hard.

God will lead you in a happy direction.

Because of God's love,

there's a long queue in the heaven.

Welcome...

Welcome...

For someone who's been bad in his lifetime.

If he repents before his death,

God will lead him to heaven.

Father...

I was wrong, Father...

God will forgive you and pardon your sin.

And now there's no one in hell.

You don't believe it, let me show you.

Come on.

Come and check it out.

Hell is good.

You can enjoy clubbing and drunken driving.

You can also freely curse the Chief Executive.

I can do that in Hong Kong too.

Mrs. Devil, cut it out.

Everyone has a 3,000 sq. ft. Luxury apartment in heaven now.

And the re-facing service is free.

A guy can become handsome.

A girl can become beautiful.

No one's gonna come here, Mrs. Devil.

Angel Jim, you don't have to say that.

Damn it...

To me...

you can use your middle finger.

Ha...

- You... - What?

Remember, I am an angel.

No one would believe that I would curse you.

Ha...

Even the devil gets bullied? What a pity!

Asshole.

Saying that my car got taken over for catching thieves, it's cheating.

- I will file a complaint for this. - Thank you... Thanks for...

- working for the people of Hong Kong. - Damn police.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to Angel.

- Shit! - Happy...

They are already singing the birthday song.

...birthday to you.

Johnny is here.

Happy birthday to you...

No need, the candles got blown already.

That means it's time for present and cake.

Give everyone some cake.

Sorry, I have something to work on today, so...

I know you are busy...

There's some hidden danger.

Busy...

Do I need to write a will?

Don't worry, it's ok.

It's past 12 already.

Let's play a game.

Can't I join?

Today is my birthday, you have to play.

It's over.

Open it.

What is it?

I have been thinking for so long

to buy you a present so that

you will always think of me.

Then I decided

to give you this.

Then you will never forget about me.

How?

Take off your clothes.

So many people here.

- Take it off. - Everyone is here.

Take it off.

I will take it off for sure.

Let go.

Let go.

I know that it's time

to trim you up.

So nice.

It's not done yet.

It's been wrapped really nice.