I Smile Back

Here we go.

Whoa-ho-ho! Whoa-ho-ho!

Rise and shine, beautiful.

Here you go, buddy.

Oh, thank you.

I still use these.

What took you so long?

They forgot the Mu Shu pork, and it's your favorite.

Kids, come on! Food's ready, let's go, inside!

Susan, you hungry?

- Bruce's book... - Hmm.

Hedging Your Bet Against God By Bruce Brooks.

That's a great fucking title. What's the book about?

Well, the way I see it,

was there's a Bible for the afterlife.

I wrote the Bible for the here and now.

I'm actually not kidding.

And people can say all they want about insurance,

and guys like me, but you know what?

At the end of the day, having good insurance

is the most important thing you can do while you're alive.

Every time you up it,

you're just hedging your bet against God, am I right?

What are you doing?

Come on sit back down, Laney. Everyone's enjoying the food.

The ribs are sour.

How would you know? You didn't even eat them.

Laney, come on, sit down.

Daddy... Where'd you get that dog?

We rescued him from the pound.

Janey, Bingo was supposed to be a surprise for mommy.

Mommy, I think he needs you.

We talked about this.

No, you talked about this. We didn't talk about anything.

Can you just give it a try? Can you trust me?

Fuck you, Bruce.

Boom! Perfect!

Mom, can we keep her?

I don't know, E. It's just one more thing to worry about.

E.

E, wake up. You're having a nightmare.

What is it baby?

You have another bad dream?

Come here.

We were walking down the street to go see Dad

and you were listening to your headphones...

It's okay, take a deep breath.

Tell me.

I was trying to tell you,

but you wouldn't listen to me.

You couldn't hear me 'cause you were listening to your headphones.

And there were all these cars.

And then I got trapped, and I couldn't grab you.

And then the car just hit you. You were dead.

That will never happen.

How do you know?

'Cause I don't have an iPod.

Oh, funny, Mom.

It will never happen because I would never let it happen.

Okay? Go to sleep, Mommy's here.

I'll stay with you till you fall asleep, okay?

Rise and shine, beautiful.

Thought I was gonna have to wake you up.

No, I don't want to get up. Come back to bed.

I wish.

Hey, Bingo.

Only school buses allowed here, Lady.

Since when? You must not be reading your emails.

Mom! It's okay, E.

Um, is Frank here? Frank always lets me double park.

I'm sorry.

What's it say, Mom?

It says we have to park.

Come on, Come on.

Susan, what is this?

Oh, it's to check the parent IDs.

They sent them in the mail. Part of that whole new security thing?

I don't... Don't worry. I'll vouch for you.

Okay, thank you.

ID?

I had a crazy morning. I forgot it.

I will bring it tomorrow, I promise.

Parent IDs are mandatory now.

We mailed them out last week and sent an email.

I'll vouch for her. Thank you.

Mom? It's okay, E.

I've been walking him to class for two years,

surely you can make an exception for one day.

If I make an exception for you, Mrs. Brooks.

Then I'm gonna have to make one for everyone.

Is that how we want to teach our children? I wouldn't think so.

At this point in the year,

Eli is familiar enough to get to his own classroom.

He'll be fine. I'll take Janey?

Okay.

I'm okay, Mom. Are you sure?

Wait, Janey, give me a kiss!

Bye, baby.

Ooh.

I'll see you later!

Teach my kids, you fucking bitch.

"Is that how you want to raise your kids?"

Yeah, that's how I want to raise my kids.

Thanks for the help, you fucking condescending...

Yeah? Yeah.

I'm gonna take a shower.

Mmm-mmm.

Mmm-mmm.

It's early, stay with me.

No, I've got to pick up the kids.

Nah!

Oh, God. I love you.

No, you don't.

What?

Why do you say that?

Because you're married.

And because no man can love a girl whose ass he just fucked.

Jesus, Laney.

You're crazy, you know that?

I told you I'd leave Sue soon. I love you.

That's what's so funny. You could love me, fine.

I could love you. It doesn't matter. It means nothing.

Fuck. Fuck!

You can't park here, ma'am. We've been all through this, haven't we?

I was hoping you wouldn't remember.

No, I remember.

Hey, Laney!

Oh.

Hey! Is everything okay?

Did Henry have a bad day?

No, I can't find Donny. His cell phone has been off all day.

He hasn't been to the office.

I'm sure he's in a meeting or something.

Lady, you gotta move it! I'm moving!

Look, I'm sure, I'm sure Donny is fine.

All right, thank you. I'll call you later.

Okay, thanks. Okay.

Oh! Those are my kids! Those are my kids!

Hurry, kids. Kids, get in the car!

How was your day? Good! How was yours?

It was good. How about you, E?

E, how was your day?

It was fine.

Mommy, your phone!

I know, Sweetie.

Did you miss me? Yes.

Did you cry?

How much do you love me?

Oh, good! Oh, good, oh, good, oh, good.

Promise you'll never leave me.

Mommy, stop!

- I'm teasing, muffin! - I'm just teasing.

Why aren't you eating?

Not hungry.

You need to eat more food. Real food. Not lollipops.

Jesus, what are you, the food police?

All that sugar isn't good for you.

Empty calories, right guys? Not...

Energy food. That's right! Energy food.

And I know, if you eat too much sugar, you can, um...

You can be very tired and it can...

It can wear down your body.

That's right.

And you'll lose some of your energy.

Mmm!

Did you that the pilgrims actually stole America from the Native Americans?

They had the Native Americans teach them how to grow corn and stuff.

And then they stole their land.

Is that, right?

Yeah, so we gave them casinos.

Mrs. Zeldis told you this?

No, John Frye did.

His mom told him. She also said Thanksgiving is a lie.

John Frye's mother is a pig.

Lane.

All right. You kids want to play basketball?

Really? Yeah!

As long as you promise to take it easy on me. Let's go.

Okay! All right.

That's good. Yes!

Yeah!

That was high.

Eli, soap.

I already did.

Oh, you did?

Did you practice piano today?

E, you've got a piano recital coming up. Did you practice?

Yeah. How much?

You done? All set?

Mmm-hmm. Great.

Whoa-oh!

Mom?

I can't breathe.

E, put on your T-shirt.

Ooh, dry your balls.

Mom!

You'll get a rash.

What's up?

I'm just thinking.

About?