The Legend of Vox Machina

Oh, man. Dis singing thing is way easier than Scanlan let on.

Wow! You're Grog.

Big fan since forever.

Sign my stein?

Oh, anything for m'fans.

"Grog."

There.

Oh, uh...

Maybe the rest of Vox Machina can sign, too!

My kids love Vax.

Yeah, ya see, um, we haven't, like, uh, talked in a bit.

I'm all the Vox Machina you need!

You want to make out with a legend?

Another round of drinks, on us, the gods-damns heroes of Tal'Dorei!

Uh, Pikey... don't get me wrong.

I mean, I love drinkin' with you,

but I kind of been itchin' for a fight.

It feels like days since I got to punch that dragon.

It's been a year.

Oh, well, maybe the team

wants to fuck shit up again, huh?

- Oh, we could go see 'em and-- - Nah.

Those guys are perfectly happy without us.

'Kay. Then maybe we ask the Everlight?

I don't need to consult the Everlight for every little thing.

If there's one thing I don't want right now, it's--

Adventure!

Bollocks.

Bollocks!

Where the hells is he?

Ma'am. It's time.

Fine. If I must, I'll face them alone.

Open the doors.

Presenting your hosts for the Chamber of Whitestone Commemorative Ball,

Mistress of the Grey Hunt, Lady Vex'ahlia Vessar!

Accompanied by

Lord Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III!

Cutting it close, Percy.

Apologies, my love.

It's just that nothing's working down there.

Give a lady a chance, darling.

Oh, you mean the Orb. Boo.

Delilah Briarwood turned it on, and I can't turn it off.

I've tried fire, electricity, magnetics.

All I know is that it negates magic.

Look, I get it.

A spinning death sphere is quite the distraction.

Though I can think of a better one.

Speaking of distractions, all this posh nonsense must drive you mad.

When you made me a noble, I didn't expect so many fuddy-duddies around all the time.

And though I do enjoy balls,

three per week is a lot.

Percival, my boy.

When are you going to make an honest woman of her?

When you do the same for one of your mistresses, Lord Mercer.

Canapé?

I do hope having a gilded roof over your head hasn't been all terrible.

Of course not, darling.

I love you and the life we've made together.

But I do sometimes miss the old days.

With Vox. And Vax.

We should invite your brother over.

We could throw a-- Ah!

Say "ball" and I drop you.

I just wish there was a way to shake up our royal routine.

- Something like-- - Canapé?

Yes, that's it. A canapé.

How about this?

Why don't I tell Cassandra I'm not feeling well,

and we can retire with a bottle of wine

and absolutely nothing else?

Seems I've made a dishonest man of you.

See you in the bedroom.

The entire hunt, ruined. Our horses were terrified!

A giant panther, near Whitestone?

The earl said it radiated darkness as if made of shadow.

Something must be done.

Indeed. Something must be done.

What the fuck, mate?

Fun, fun, fun!

Who the hell are you?

- Oi! Maxi pads! - 'Tis I, Taryon Darrington! Ha-ha!

Buckler of swash, deviler of dares, soon to be author.

And?

And I've recently set forth from Wildemount

to make my name as a hero...

...like the valiant members of Vox Ma-sheen-ah.

Machina.

Watch your back!

Ooh, sublime fisticuffs.

So I combed through my adventure novels and compiled a list of heroic deeds.

I've already crossed off "make a dramatic entrance,"

"start a tavern brawl" and my favorite,

"defenestration--" get this-- all before lunch.

Ha! Nothing like deep penetration before lunch.

What's next on your list thingy?

Ah, glad you asked, Jumbo.

I'm here to defend my family's honor from a band of baneful brigands.

And I'll need the two of you.

Uh, okay. We're a little out of your league, golden boy.

Ah-ah-ah. Take heed, heroes.

For when adventure sings her siren song, the refrain is

Taryon Darrington!

- Okay. - Uh, what?

What if I told you I was excessively wealthy?

Behold!

Oh, man.

Wow!

- Ugh. - Oh!

Oh, he said "dangerous"! Oh, I been dyin' for danger.

Eh.

And you been actin' kinda funny lately.

I don't know, maybe a good old-fashioned fight with the forces of evil

will give you somethin' to believe in?

Buddies, I appreciate your concern, but look at that asshole.

Ha! Excellent.

Whoa!

How evil a force can this entitled himbo be facing?

Tary.

Oh-ho! Fuck yeah!

Well, typically at this point, we're tearing clothes off, not putting more on.

If there's a monstrous beast in the woods outside Whitestone,

the Mistress of the Grey Hunt needs to take care of it, right?

I mean, technically the title's been ceremonial for generations.

That's only because you haven't had a skilled hunter in the role.

True.

A giant panther? Really?

The earl probably saw a wolf and pissed himself.

Well, if it's nothing, I'll come home.

But if it is...

Percy...

I appreciate our comfortable life,

but sometimes you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

I need this. To prove to myself I still can.

I assume you'd prefer I not accompany you.

No, no, no. While I'm off, you can spend the whole night doing research.

Oh, and do take a magic lantern, darling.

It's so dim down there, we don't need your spectacles getting any thicker.

Only if you take this.

It's dragonscale.

Cut from the hide of Vorugal.

I had a feeling your primal instincts would one day return.

Primal, huh?

Oh, Percy.

Mm.

My love, what about your hunt?

Sundown's not for another hour.

Tary.

No, no! What are you doing?

- What I was born to. - Tary.

Cease at once!

This is no mechanized miscreant. It's Doty!

Did you say Doodie?

Yes. My clockwork companion and personal biographer

who records all of my daring exploits.

Observe.

Doty, take this down.

Though we had only just met, the two members of Vox Machina,

- Jumbo and Lady Everlight... - We have names.

...were chomping at the bit for our first mission.

- What happened next? - What mission?

We-we didn't agree to any--

My father, Howaardt Darrington, owns an incredibly profitable gem concern,

but his deliveries have been recently ransacked along the trade routes,

- so I-- - Taryon Darrington?

Yes, shall protect his shipment, defeat the brigands

and expose their nefarious network.

Tary.

That's the only word he can speak.

Pikey, please?