The Sopranos

Gkay, listen up

This is the NASD Series 7 stockbroker's exam.

It will test your knowledge of stocks bonds and other securities.

If your last name starts with A through L, you should be next door

The exam is in two parts, each part is three hours long...

there will be a one-hour break

As I oall your name please answer "here

lVlartin, Samantha -Here.

lVloClure, Peter -Here.

lVloltisanti, Christopher -Here!

Tony!

Jesus Christ!

Can I talk to you?

\/\/here the fuck you been? -\/\/e're gonna talk here?

-Come in the house. I got your word, I walk in

I'm walking back out

No word. Nothing

This is how you come back?

Do I got your word?

Coffee?

You look good

-Tan. Yeah, right

The tan ghost

You're a good guy, Tony, but you abuse that jokey shit

\/\/hat you gotta say to me? -I'm back, Tony.

I'm tan

I'm in a fucking tan nightmare

What, you think I'm stupid?

I don't know it when every one of my friends turns against me? Fuck!

All right, easy, okay? I don't think you're stupid

There was a fucking rat

So you finger me?

You think I didn't know what was going on...

when you come to my house telling me you're my friend?

That's when I knew I was in trouble

When out of the blue you start telling me you're my friend!

I think I'm sick!

You owe me the fucking explanation! You know it!

Never to have a serious illness, because with you, Sylvio and Paulie

.and all you pricks, weakness spreads as fucking treason!

Fuck you! I don't want to hear about your back anymore!

Who's your fucking boss, huh? Who gets the explanation?

Am I supposed to trust you? You off-the-reservation cocksucker!

It was a broad, Tony It was complicated.

l\/ly back was for shit, you knew that. I don't want to hear about your back!

That's how we met. This fucking "spondyIoIisth

That's why I was popping Percocets like freaking Jujubes.

So my doctor, he prescribes this clinic for me in Puerto Rico

I didn't exactly object, given the vibes around here

Go ahead, check

-You don't tell your wife? That twat brought on most of this

-How? Listen

Down there I met this girl

Twenty-six

_.an acupuncturist. It was the only thing that helped my sciatic nerve.

Cne thing led to another

You can't send one feeler to me? -I'm gonna trust you?

Paulie? Take the word of a degenerate cop over me?

Tony, who are you talking to down there?

Jesus!

So why'd you come back, huh? What changed?

Nothing changed. That's the problem

Still got two kids in college. Cne just got married, needs my help

I gotta get my action back

Ch, just like that?

I came to you, Tony I'm in your hands.

Bring up two cases of bottled water with you, then!

Come here

Come here, you fat fuck

Hey, my back! I still gotta get these frigging shots.

You fucking beached whale

Hey!

Want to pat this down too?

Come here

Come on

Don't ever pull this shit again

So your uncIe's under indictment? -12 RIC() predicates.

Piss boy. Philly Parisi

oh, yeah, Philly

That's my favorite bag Don't lose it.

Yo, Philly!

Were you waiting long?

Not bad. We were late landing anyhow Thanks for doing this, Philly.

Coming off the Iam every nickel counts

These fucking cabs!

It was good to be back for a while, then, you know

Do I? That place is Scranton with clams.

So, what's been going on?

Same tale of woe

What's this I hear about Tony Soprano's mother, some accident?

Had her in a nursing home -Get out of here.

This upset Junior no end

When Junior come after him

...Tony went to the home, tried to suffocate his own mother

You shouIdn't spread that rumor That's some ugly shit.

Cnly telling you

Listen, you'd be fucking amazed -There's more?

No, what?

He was seeing a psychiatrist -Tony?

Fucking broad from lVIontcIair

Anyway

is

is who leads us now

I Philly) Here you go, kid

There you go, you big mouth fuck! Fuck!

It's done

lVIaybe she's seeing someone

You know, the way I see you

See why she'd never tell me

I'm afraid we have to stop now

When will your office be finished? -lVIy new carpet's not in yet.

I'm sorry. I know this is awkward

l\/ly old therapist worked out of his home.

That's...not convenient for me

Yes?

How'd you get this number?

Where are you calling from?

Are you watching me?

You know, Webistics would be perfect for your portfolio.

I know you're on a fixed income but

with Webistics you could triple your money in a year.

What time is it?

So, "E.F." I'm listening

It's fucking tedious, this shit

If it's your executive decision to go down the shore...

fuck it

Yeah

Yo, lVIatthew

I gotta take a meeting. Keep things in control here

Word up. Later, chief!

I shouIdn't be telling you this Webistics is the next Yahoo

We're only selling it to preferred clients.

American Forestry? 19 1/2, up 3/8. Very sound company

Uh-huh

Depends on whether you want to go for growth or value.

We've got hundreds of mutual funds to choose from--

You're supposed to push Webistics!

I was just giving them alternatives Shit!

Webistics is our pick of the week

Why? It's got a 3 million float, the competition's robust and their

technoIogy's two years behind! Your stock's a dog!

Ahh!

Please! Stop!

Hey! Stop that!

I'm still manager. This is unacceptable. Where's lVIoItisanti?

Get back in your fucking office

Anybody else got a problem?

-Tony. Hey, counselor, how are you?

How are you? -Good.

-You look good. Thanks, have a seat

You want a drink? -No.

Before we commence, a thousand thank-yous for Webistics.

l\/ly pleasure

So, where do we stand this month?

Your uncIe's petitioning to get out on a medical, pending trial.

Let him

-He thinks they might let him out. lVIaybe as a temptation for you to act

Since you're at the helm, it gets back to putting up bigger blinds.

Limiting your exposure to potential RICC boo-boos.

Cnly way to run a family these days is bunker-style...

Excuse me

You're not gonna believe this Your sister's here.

-Barbara? No, Janice

You're shitting me -No.

I'm gonna be 5 grand lighter before she rain-dances back to the commune

Tell her she can stay.

Are you sure?

Yeah

We 'll get Barbara, Tom and the kids and make a reunion out of it.

-But obviously .... Your mother isn't welcome

Give Janice my love

See you later

l\/ly sister's here from Seattle -Nice.

Let me pinch those bulldog cheeks Come over here!

That water down there. You think you'd have shit some weight off.

You say we were gonna crab the river looking for him?

What's the matter with you? -Tony explained it.

-Listen to this. You heard about Jimmy Altieri?

Flipped, fucking asshole

...all those payments, I guess just evaporated?

No shit

-They all paid up to the letter? Few things got lost in the confusion

You can picture

Did what we could with the information we had.

Boss of the family deserves the credit

Salute! Salute!

Hey, Silv -What?

What ?

I've been gone a long time Let me hear it.

All right, Kay

Just this one time, I'II let you ask me about my affairs."

Is it true, lVIichaeI?

You fucking schifosa

Cur true enemy has yet

to reveal himself

He's on a roll!

I gotta get the fuck out of here!

Ch, Tony, I hate to ruin the party

Got a call from Loiaco down at brokerage.

Chip and DaIe" sent one of the brokers...