Friends

Oh. Mm.

- Hi. Hey.

You have got to try this cheesecake.

Oh, you know, I'm not that much of a sweet tooth...

- Oh, my God, it's so creamy. - Oh.

Oh, my God. That's the best cheesecake I've ever had.

Where did you get this?

It was at the front door when I got home. Somebody sent it to us.

Chandler, this isn't addressed to you.

This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs.

Thief.

I didn't read the box before I opened it...

...and you can't return a box after you opened it.

- Why not? - Because it's too delicious.

Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong.

No, no, no, it is going to be okay...

...because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one.

And that way, we all win.

The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate:

"Mama's Little Bakery."

I feel terrible.

I'm a horrible, horrible, horrible person.

Well, I'm sorry, what?

I should get going. Big day at work.

You know how I'm in a coma?

Today they do a test on me and it turns out I'm not brain-dead.

So...

Ah-ah, Mr. Smarty-Pants.

It's just my character that's not brain-dead.

Pheebs, still on for tonight?

- Absolutely. Okay. - All right, I'll see you at 8.

Oh, what's at 8?

Oh, I have dinner plans with Joey.

We get together about once a month to discuss the rest of you guys.

Wow. Did not know that.

May I say how lovely you look today?

Duly noted.

Oh, so for tomorrow...

...do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what?

What are you talking about?

Cousin Frannie's wedding. It's tomorrow night.

You were invited?

No.

Oh, my God, I can't believe this.

I knew Mom and Dad were invited. I thought that was it.

I mean, from the ages of 7 to 9, Frannie and I were inseparable.

Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannie's made some new friends.

Look, it's probably just a mistake. Let me call Aunt Cheryl, okay?

Maybe you are invited and the invitation just got lost in the mail.

Yeah, well, you call her and tell her that, you know, when we were kids...

...her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay?

If I hadn't stopped her, there probably wouldn't be a wedding to go to.

She tried to undress me too.

I used to undress my cousin Glenn.

Joseph Francis Tribbiani, are you home yet?

Um, I think he's still out. What's wrong?

Well, I'll tell you, Rachel Karen Green.

I had plans with Joey tonight, and he left me this note.

"Pheebs, can't make it. Got a date. Talk to you later.

Big Daddy."

- "Big Daddy"? - Oh, that's a nickname we were trying out.

Hey, you know what nickname never caught on? "The Ross-a-tron."

- Hey. - Oh, here's Joseph Francis.

Whoa, what are you middle-naming me for?

I left you a note.

So what? That doesn't give you the right to ditch me.

Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there's a possibility for sex.

Phoebe, he's right. That is the rule.

I don't accept this rule.

When we make plans, I expect you to show up.

Okay, I can't just be a way to kill time till you meet someone better.

You know, boyfriends and girlfriends are gonna come and go, but this is for life.

Wow. I'm so sorry. I had no idea it would bother you this much.

Well, it does.

Okay, can I make it up to you? Huh?

I'm sorry.

How about dinner tomorrow night? I'll pay for myself.

Okay, you wore me down.

Joe, while you're over there, how about another beer for "The Ross-a-tron"?

"Ross..." Is that back?

- Hi. - The other cheesecake came.

They delivered it to the wrong address again.

So just bring it back downstairs. What's the problem?

I can't seem to say goodbye.

Are you serious? Chandler, we ate an entire cheesecake two days ago...

...and you want more?

Well, I've forgotten what it tastes like, okay?

It was cheesecake. It was fine.

It had a buttery, crumbly, graham-cracker crust...

...with a very rich...

...yet light cream-cheese filling.

Wow, my whole mouth just filled with saliva. Ahem.

Know what? Forget it. We are just hungry.

We have not had lunch. We are just lightheaded.

So let us go out and have lunch and forget about the cheesecake.

We'll drop it off downstairs so we're not tempted.

Where do you wanna go to lunch?

Mama's Little Bakery, Chicago, Illinois.

Aw.

Mel Tormé died.

Joey, that paper's like a year old.

Oh, does that mean the Sam Goody's sale is over?

- Hey. Hey.

So I finally heard back from Aunt Cheryl...

...and apparently it wasn't a mistake.

Uh, there's limited seating in the hall...

Limited seating? I am just one tiny person.

Yeah, but she doesn't know that.

I mean, the last time she saw you...

...you would've turned one of those little wedding chairs into kindling.

"Limited seating." That's such a lame excuse.

That's not the reason why she's not inviting me.

What's the big deal? I wasn't even invited to the ceremony, just the reception.

And you know what? If it makes you feel any better...

...Joan and I will just make an appearance...

...and then we'll leave early as a sign of protest.

- Joan? - Yeah, Joan Tedeschi, my date.

She's an assistant professor in the Linguistics Department.

Tall, very beautiful.

And despite what some people say, not broad-backed.

Wait a minute. You got "Ross Geller and guest"?

I wasn't invited, and you got "and guest"?

Uh, excuse me, I do have to interrupt on Ross' behalf.

I think the rule applies here.

Since he has a chance to get on broad-back...

Not broad-back!

Wait a minute. You're bringing me.

What? I can't cancel on Joan.

- Why not? - Did you not hear me?

She's an assistant professor in the Linguistics Department, okay?

They're wild.

- Why do you want to come anyway? - Because...

...she's my cousin.

I mean, we grew up together.

Family, you know? And all that's important to me.

Okay, all right. I'll take you.

I'll go call Joan.

Oh, that's nice.

Family should be there.

This is her wedding. Happiest day of her life.

We'll see. Ha, ha.

Well, thank you for lunch.

Wait a minute, I didn't pay. I thought you paid.

So apparently, we just don't pay for food anymore.

- Do you see what I see? - Huh! It's still there.

Mrs. Braverman must be out.

She could be out of town. Maybe she'll be gone for months.

By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad.

We don't want her to come back to bad cheesecake.

- That could kill her. - Wouldn't want that.

No, we're protecting her.

- We should take it. - But move quick.

- Why? - I heard her moving around in there.

Go, go, go.

Oh, my God, that's David.

Who? David, the scientist guy.

David that I was in love with.

David who went to Russia and broke my heart, David.

Oh, my God.

Oh, you say someone's name enough, they turn around.

- Phoebe. - David.

What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Russia?

Yeah, I'm just in town for a conference.

Um, God, you look phenomenal.

Well, ha, ha...

Yeah.

You look great too. Did you get a haircut?

Yeah. Well, I got like 30 of them.

Yeah.

- Um, look, I got a confession to make. - Uh-huh.

Um, I was hoping to run into you here.

I didn't know that I should call or not. You know, I was only in town a few days...

...and, you know, I didn't want to intrude on your life or anything.

But I really wanted to see you...

...but I didn't know if you wanted to see me.

Of course I would want to see you. I think about you all the time.

Really? Because I think about you all the time.

- Really? - There's a statue in Minsk...

...that reminds me of you so much.

I mean, um, it's actually of Lenin...

...but, you know, at certain angles... Yeah.

Anyway, do you want to have dinner tonight?

Yes.

- Oh, no. - Oh.

- Uh, what? - I can't.

I can't believe I have plans. I can't. Can you do it tomorrow?

Uh, no, I have to go in a few hours. I have to be on the redeye.