South Park

Stan! Family meeting! Get downstairs!

I'm writing a song, Dad.

Nobody cares about that!

Come on! I've got big news!

Sharon, Shelley! Hurry! I've got it!

What is it, Randy?

You guys... I've just had the greatest idea ever.

We're gonna move back to our old house?

No! I've been trying to figure out

how to make more money selling weed.

And last night it came to me.

We could grow the family business by selling Tegridy...

to the Chinese.

I did a little research.

Turns out there's a lot of people in China.

If we can get like 2% of that market to buy our weed,

we'd make millions of millions of dollars.

I'm flying to China tomorrow.

I've got to get in on this before anyone else thinks of it.

Tomorrow?

Randy, are you forgetting about this Saturday?

What's this Saturday?

Autumnfest? Stan's concert?

He and his little friends have been rehearsing all week.

A lot of people in town are coming out to support him.

Everyone but you.

Everyone?

Stan, you need to wear

your Tegridy T-shirt at the performance.

Aw, come on, Dad!

Stan, they're available on Amazon starting Friday,

so you could really help promote the family business

while I'm gone!

But then again, I guess family doesn't mean

all that much to you.

Yeah.

Okay, that was the South Park Sounderoos.

Thanks again to Kate and Earl!

Alright, up next we have four of

our local South Park fourth graders who have formed a band!

Let's hear it for Stan Marsh and Crimson Dawn!

Hi, Stanley!

Oh, there's our Butters!

Oh, Butters! Oh, aren't they cute!

Um, hi. We're Crimson Dawn,

and um, this is a song I wrote about

living out in the country on a farm.

Alright, f-f-fellas, just like we rehearsed it.

And a one and a two and a...

Get me off this farm!

First time goin' to China?

No, not really.

It's my first time.

I'm goin' out to try and drum up a little business.

What are you headin' out for?

I work for a clothing company.

We're trying to break into the market

And get the Chinese people as customers.

Oh. Hey. Fuck you.

Huh?

I... I had that idea like three days ago.

So what?

So when did you come up with it?

Oh, hey, Mitchell. You're on this flight?!

Yeah, that's so funny. I'm working for Google now,

overseeing the expansions into the Chinese user base.

Yeah, I'm still with the NBA.

Doing some press with the players

to try to get more Chinese viewers.

Oh, for Christ's sake!

You have a good idea and everyone wants to copy you!

Fine. I can handle some healthy competition.

Who else wants to go to China and get some of their money?

Oh, for crying' out loud.

Let me guess, you work for a company

trying to get Chinese people as customers.

Wow, where'd you get that idea?

It's okay. It's okay.

I'm sure there's plenty of Chinese people for all of us.

Okay, okay. Wait, uh, hang on, guys.

Very good, boys!

I heard you play at Autumnfest.

I really like your sound.

Who are you? Well, I'm a producer.

I manage all the big rock bands in South Park.

PC Babies...

all of them.

You manage the PC Babies?

Holy smokes, fellas, they're huge!

You want to sign us so we can make a record

and I can move away from here?

Records? What are you kids, from the '90s?!

There's no money in albums or singles or even tours anymore.

What we need to focus on...

is your biopic.

Biopic? You want to make the Crimson Dawn biopic?

PC Babies' biopic came out last week.

Made over $100 million.

Wow-ee!

Mrph rmh rmphm?

I'll just let you guys think on it.

But don't take too long, huh?

Hello. Howdy.

I'm a small business owner from the United States.

You guys know any money people here?

Can I give you guys my card?

I'm just starting to grow my business here in China.

What is this, sir?

Oh, that? That's weed.

Marijuana.

You know...

Oh, here we go.

Jay shi daamaa Tegridy Weed.

Whoa! Oh, hey! Everything alright?

What's going on?

Oh, hey, d-don't forget my suitcase!

C-Could you grab my suitcase?

All my weed is in there!

Excuse me?

Jay shi damaa!

What makes a band truly great?

It's a desire to be heard.

And a commitment to a three-act structure

that has a 20-minute setup,

about an hour and a half of conflict,

and a big, triumphant resolution.

So let's start at the beginning, gang.

When did your band first form?

Um, it was about two weeks ago...

Yeah, it was about two and a half,

three weeks ago, I'd say...

I hadn't seen my friend Kyle,

and I hate living on a farm so I started writing songs.

That's good, that's good!

Lost a close friend.

Put loneliness into lyrics.

Yeah, and Stan came to me and I said,

"Well, I can play the drums..."

But... But he'd already asked me to play the drums.

So, yeah, I said, "Okay, I'll play guitar."

Inner conflict over direction of band, good.

Oh, and then Kenny learned to play bass

watching YouTube videos of John Lennon with the Dalai Lama.

Oh, oh, yeah, no, no, we don't want to go there.

Talking about the Dalai Lama

doesn't go over well with the Chinese.

The... the... the what?

Look, for this movie to really make money,

we need to be sure it clears the Chinese censors, you know?

We want those Chinese viewers!

- Aw, seriously? - Oh, it's okay.

There's plenty of other things to talk about with your story.

How about... What kind of things

were you into when you were younger?

Well, I always liked Winnie the Pooh!

Oh, no, no, no, no no no, that's definitely off limits.

Winnie the Pooh is illegal in China

because some Chinese students said

he looked like the Chinese President.

Aw, come on. That's ridiculous.

Hey, you want to move away from your family, right?

You want to be successful on your own, right?

Yeah...

Alright, well, you know what they say...

You got to lower your ideals of freedom

if you want to suck on the warm teat of China.

"I am a proud member of the Communist Party.

The Party is more important than the individual."

Oh. Hello, there.

Who... Who's there?

Nobody. Just a bear.

I was wondering since you're new,

if you might have some honey.

No, I don't have any honey.

Are you prisoners here?

Some people said Pooh looked like the Chinese P-P-President,

so we're illegal in China now.

Jesus.

What kind of mad house is this?

Your Honors, I'm just a simple farmer,

from a simpler time.

Now, I'd never been to China before, but I hate to say,

I'm a little disappointed in all of you.

With what I've seen,

you... you seem to treat your people like dirt.

You don't believe in any individual freedoms.

I mean, you've got Winnie the Pooh and Piglet

in jail?