McDull, Kung Fu Kindergarten [ 麥兜響噹噹 / Mai dou xiang dang dang ]

China's Yangtze River flows across over 4,000 km of land

lt's the longest river in China

The mother of Chinese civilization

The Three Gorges is famous for its sheer cliffs and steep mountains...

inspiring poets to leave behind...

... beautiful words of praise

From the walls of Baidi high in the colored dawn

To Jiangling by nightfall is a thousand miles

lt's the birthplace of poet Qu Yuan

and the great beauty Wang Zhaojun

lt's where warlord Liu Bei died...

... and the inspiration for Li Bai's poems

But with the construction of the Three Gorges Dam historical sites

and artifacts will soon be submerged under water

All the nation's archeologists have gathered here

to rescue invaluable artifacts before the dam floods the area

Today,

a school archeological team has unearthed

what is believed to be

...a Big Mac box from the first MacDonald outlet in the country

Another team has also discovered a piece of chicken bone

Carbon 14 and DNA test results confirm that...

it was the first batch

of Kentucky Fried Chicken mumbled by Chinese

Another piece of exciting news

A large object is about...

to see the light of day again...

after thousands of years in darkness

Εxperts carefully clear the soil off

But its function is a mystery

lts craftsmanship poor and design awkward

lnside the object...Whoa...

There's dried cow dung

Oh no...it's McFat's handiwork again

Mak-zi, given name McFat

dates of birth and death unknown...

...an extremely insignificant philosopher and inventor

He invented the electric rice-cooker

electric kettle, mosquito repellant

electric nose hair trimmer

...but forgot to invent electricity

So his inventions sat at home...

...useless

He also invented the Shadowless Kick

contact lenses and invisible pantyhose

But no one could see them

They are not written in history

Mak-zi also invented the world's first telephone

But the second telephone was not...

...invented until the 1 9th century

...by American Αlexander Bell

Mak-zi waited by his telephone...

...and waited waited and he died...

...before he could hear it ring

l was dancin' with my darlin'

to the Tennessee Waltz

When an old friend l happened to see

l introduced him to my loved one

And while they were dancin'

My friend stole my sweetheart from me

l remember the night

and the Tennessee Waltz

Now i know just

how much l have lost

Yes, l lost my little darlin'

the night they were playing

The beautiful Tennessee Waltz.

Yes, l lost my little darlin'

the night they were playing

The beautiful, the wonderful,

the marvelous, the glorious

The beautiful Tennessee Waltz.

lt's every archeologist's nightmare

it's bulky, useless

No museums want it

But it's unethical to...

dump it

back into the river...

the huge object...

float aimlessly down...

the Yangtze River...

all the way to the south of...

its southern tributaries...

to the furthest tip of...

an 1 8th generation descendant of

Mak-zi McFat was found - McDull!

Mama, what is an 1 8th generation descendant?

That's your father's father's father's father's father's father's

...who got married and had your father's father's father's father's

...who had your father's father's father's father's...

...who had your father's who had you

l have so many fathers?

Perhaps due to the economic downturn

or because of...

...Mrs. Mak's premature menopause

She had to keep changing store signs to stay in business

Luckily, she was a TV celebrity chef...

Wow! On fire! On fire!

She was able to rise from...

a home chef to a spokesperson...

for a weight loss franchise

Εverything seemed a little bit off

Luckily, it was just a bit off

But like most mothers...

Mrs. Mak would do anything to...

take care for her little one...

McDull!

Mrs. Mak began planning McDull's...

future even before he was born

The MoZart Effect was in vogue...

For the sake of her unborn child, she enrolled in the...

"Prenatal Εducation with Mozart" university...

research program

She thought she succeeded...

Who knew...

But she discovered

that scientific research required control groups

To prove the MoZart Εffect...

one group of fetuses listened to MoZart...

selected randomly...

...while another group listened to nonsense songs

On Hollywood Road stands a big hotel

lnside three fat ladies learn to kick balls...

What could you do about random selection?

Mrs. Mak did not give up

Εvery Sunday...

McDull takes painting,

swimming, Εnglish classes...

plus goes to university for MoZart

His efforts may erase the...

prenatal effects of the nonsense songs

McDull may be dull

but he is a good child

He eats plenty, craps plenty

He's strong enough to twist off bottle caps for other kids

He's also careful not to step...

on ants that cross his path

He may be slow but he's patient

He is dexterous and likes to fold origami...

for his mother when she comes home from work

l love chicken

Mama loves chicken too

l love to be with Mama whom l love the most

and eat what we love Chicken on fire

- Great! Very Mozart! - You're kidding!

At this beautiful moment of defeat...

our story begins

Ah-Fai...

McMug...

McDull...

Hurray! i got an A!

No, McDull, that's an H

H and A are slightly different at the top

Oh... l nearly got an Α

You wish

Look, your writing's so messy!

No one could read it even if it was correct!

Didn't l give you an eraser?

Here! Still in perfect condition!

What good is a clean eraser?

Use it to clean up your mess!

No... lt won't be perfect anymore

l'll give you a new one later!

That's okay... i like this one.

See how beautiful it is

What if l promise to write slowly and...

neatly from now on

Slowly won't do! Class will be over!

Huh? You mean if l write slowly, class will be over sooner?

Oh...i feel diZZy, l feel so diZZy...

Ah...

- Maybe you have menopause? - ls it possible?

diZZiness, mood swings, insomnia, night sweats, hot flashes?

You've just entered a new phrase in womanhood

Menopause!

The more l endure, the more l feel uneasy

Rising suddenly from a squat makes me diZZy

Frequent hot flashes, indigestion and nocturnal incontinence

Rising suddenly from a squat makes me diZZy

Disoriented in the morning and can't sleep at night

Rising suddenly from a squat makes me diZZy

Cut! Thank you Mrs. Mak

We'll let you know. Next!

Your menopause is so tragic!

What do you children know?

You were awesome, mama, real tears were coming out of your eyes!

l was thinking of your report card

You'll get the spokesperson job for sure

You had real sadness and real tears!

Women like me...

can produce tears very easily!

What kind of woman are you?

Forget it! Let's just go home and...

have "Chicken on fire"!

Hurray!

Well... i almost...

got an A...

l'm not talking about that!

How could you poop in class? Are you still a baby?

Sorry...