Seoul Searching

My parents taught me

the worst thing that ever happened to their country

was the Korean War.

Millions of people died, the entire country was devastated,

and, most tragic of all, it divided a nation and its people.

After the war, a large exodus of Koreans emigrated

to different parts of the world with a suitcase and a dream,

inspired by the hope their children would never have to suffer

the way they did during the war.

But there was an unforeseen problem.

These parents weren't prepared

for their children to fully adapt to their new culture

and understand very little of their Korean heritage.

In some cases, their children became strangers to them.

In the early '80s, the Korean government responded to this cultural travesty

by creating a special summer school for Korean teenagers

from around the world,

where they could visit their motherland and learn about their Korean heritage.

After a few years, the government was forced to end the program because...

Well, they simply could not control these kids.

This movie is based on a true story about one of those summers.

I can't believe they let that piece of shit teach in our program.

Be careful. He can hear you!

I don't give a shit!

This is my first time teaching at summer camp.

I believe we're gonna have a fun summer with these foreign students.

Oh, my god.

What the fuck are you looking at?

Oh, my. What's going on?

Oh, my god.

This is what you call, "Oh, my god."

Attention.

Attention, students!

Welcome to Seoul, Korea!

So we are leaving for the summer camp dormitories.

Your buses are waiting for you outside.

Please form a single file line.

And...

-Hey! - Hey, you there!

Hey, you want to turn that jungle music down?

Why are you acting like a nigga?

Everyone here knows you're just some confused chink!

Did that nigga just call us "chink"?

Yo, Rambo!

You call me chink again,

I'm gonna take your dog tag and shove it up your ass, nigga.

Yeah, I'd like to see that.

Get the fuck out of my face, boy.

Sit down. Now.

Get to the back of the bus where you belong.

What the fuck are you looking at, freak?

I can't hear you!

My boyfriend's nickname is the Italian Stallion.

Why?

Is he an equestrian?

No.

He's got a shlong the size of a python.

Blimey. Is that humanly possible?

What's a shlong?

Hunnies at three o'clock, man!

Wow!

Hey!

What the fuck!

Madonna wants you.

Hey!

Billy Idol,

I got first dibs on Madonna, so stay the fuck out of my way, you hear?

Please check the bulletin board for your room assignment.

Girls' rooms are located on third floor and boys' rooms are on second floor.

No boys are allowed on girls' floor after 8:00 p.m.

If any one of you are caught on girls' floor after 8:00 p.m.,

you will be expelled.

I repeat, you will be expelled.

Yeah!

Hello, my friend, who is playing with yourself.

Hi, I'm Sergio. Nice to meet you.

Sergio.

Like Sergio Valente. What kind of fucking name is that?

It's a Spanish name.

You're telling me you are from Spain.

No. Do you know "Viva Mexico"?

I am from Mexico.

Really?

Anyways, what is your name?

-Sid. -Seed?

No. Sid.

S-I-D.

Okay, S-I-D.

I have a really important question.

Where are the senoritas?

They are on the third floor.

We must have party with them.

-We will make a plan! - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Slow your roll, chimichanga.

Guys aren't allowed on the girls' floor after 8:00.

If they catch you, they will kick your ass out.

No problemo.

Sergio always have a solution.

I'm Judy.

And I'm Jackie.

And we are the...

Let's make this clear, double mint twins.

This is your side of the room and this is my side,

and you never cross this line.

How come you get one whole side of the room

when there's three of us?

Because the two of you count as one.

Please move.

Excuse me? Is this Room 218?

Yes, welcome to our casa.

I am Sergio, and this is Sid.

Nice to meet you. I'm Klaus Kim.

Klaus?

Did you just say your name is Klaus Kim?

Yes, like Santa Claus.

Yes. Why? What's the problem?

So let me guess.

You are from Berlin.

No. I'm from Hamburg.

Not everyone from Germany is from Berlin, you know.

Hi, I'm Sara.

I'm Kris.

-Where are you from? -Um, Fairborn, Ohio.

Ohio.

Guess where I'm from.

London?

Close. I'm from Wimbledon.

Don't tell me you never heard of Wimbledon before.

It's only the most prestigious tennis tournament in the world.

Excuse me. I have to go to the bathroom.

Klaus.

Can I see?

Wow, very beautiful. Your girlfriend?

Mm-hm, yes.

What about you, Sid?

Do you have any girlfriend?

Me?

I don't have a girlfriend right now.

Did you ever have a girlfriend?

Of course, man. Plenty!

How many?

I don't know! Fuck. I don't count.

Are you a virgin, Sid?

What?

Come on, man. What the fuck?

Of course, I'm not a fucking virgin.

I'm just joking.

Take it easy.

Klaus, what is that?

Oh, that's a gift for my uncles.

How about a gift for your amigos?

How about "impossible"?

Come on, Klaus.

Stop being a cunt.

-We can replace them later. -I said no.

Wait.

I hear music.

That's not music.

That's girls laughing.

That's the most beautiful music in the world, Klaus.

Holy shit.

Thank you, Jesus!

Oh, my goodness.

Wow, girls. You are so beautiful.

Ew.

What a freaking perv.

You guys got anything to drink?

How the hell are we supposed to get up there?

I'm sure you will figure out a way, stud muffin.

We will be waiting.

Damn it.

Sergio, do you have a credit card?

No. Sergio only has cash.

Klaus.

Credit card? Sure.

Wait. Wait, what for?

Just give it to me.

Be careful.

Damn it. This always works in the movies.

-Fuck. -What the hell are you guys doing?

Nothing.

Nothing my ass. You guys are going on a panty raid.

Wait, wait, wait.

Sergio always have a solution.

And what are you gonna do with that?

Use the force, Sergio.

Sergio is a smart guy. Trust in Sergio.

Goddamn it. Move out the way, Taco Bell!

That's how we do it in America.