Drawn Together

Hey, xandir,

You know what job you'd be perfect for?

Basket weaver?

Nope.

Director of homo land security.

Hey, cap, guess what I just told xandir?

That he should be director of homo land security?

How did you know?

You've told me, like, 5 times now.

Plus I've always said he's the right man for the job...

If you fat cats up in washington have the guts

To appoint someone who thinks outside the box.

Ha ha! It just keeps getting funnier every--

Aah! Uhh!

Ow! Oh, my god!

I'm crashing!

I've been downloaded with a virus!

Downloaded?

C'est ce qui downloaded?

I'm an internet download pig!

That's the fucking premise

Of my character, q-q-q-queer!

Everyone remain calm.

I will use my captain hero communicator

To call 911.

wait.

I can fly!

Get in.

I think the hospital's that way!

This ain't no monster god.

It's hans the 6-armed circus freak.

Well, foxxy, you've cracked yet another case.

So, I'll just need a copy of your mystery solving license

So I can take this guy downtown.

Mystery solvin' whaa?

You don't have a mystery solving license?

Child, I didn't even go to college.

Then we're gonna have to let this guy go.

But he's a child molester!

Licensed child molester.

People like you make me sick.

But...But...

Ah, but nothing. Without your mystery solving license,

You aren't allowed to solve any more mysteries ever again.

Danny needs his puffs!

Someone get me some fucking puffs!

What the hell's wrong with me, doc?

You've been downloaded with the deadly cuddly bear virus.

You'll be dead within a week.

Oh, my god! I'm gonna die?

Yep, unless I give you these drugs.

Drugs? Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!

You do have health insurance, don't you?

Health whaa?

Oh...You...

Don't have health insurance.

Well, don't worry.

Aah!

Unh!

aah!

Foxxy: I tried to forget

All about solving mysteries.

But forgetting,

Like granddaddy when we played bouncy horse, was very hard.

It seemed like everybody had they mystery solving license.

Everybody but the foxxy.

This is no genius werewolf.

It's just some near-sighted armenian woman.

This is no mummy.

This is just a tragic burn victim.

This is no fat monster.

Aah!

It's a blood fountain!

You're a good man, captain hero.

Foxxy: it wasn't fair!

Foxxy needed to get her mystery solving license.

And everybody knows

There's only one way to do that.

Foxxy love is went to college.

Oh, my god!

Uhh! Ow!

Boy, you really need health insurance.

Too bad you're not in the questing business.

I get great health insurance.

It would even cover my wife and kids,

Or more realistically, a cocoa-skinned life partner.

Oh, fernando,

One day I'll tame your wild ways.

Dude, you mean if I gay marry you,

I'd get free health insurance?

Well, I suppose.

Die or marry a homo.

I didn't know what to do.

Tell you what.

You decide, america!

Announcer: log on now and cast your vote.

Announcer: america, you decided.

With a grand total of 13 to 8,

Spanky will marry the homo.

¶ indistinct singing ¶

This is so nice of you, spanky.

How did you know I wanted to see

Queenie mchomoslurp in analsville on gay ice part gay?

Just a hunch.

Um...Xandir?

Oh!

S-spanky, what are you doing?

Oh! I feel like a schoolboy.

But this is pretty good, too.

Spanky: I was about to propose to xandir,

And then, out of nowhere,

That damn diamond vision tried to move in on my man!

Oh, no, diamond vision!

I was here first!

I'll kill you, you technological marvel!

oh, spanky.

That is so sweet.

No one has ever fought for me...

For my honor.

I'll do it.

I'll gay marry you for the insurance.

Foxxy: so I tried to study up for them sats,

But it became abundantly clear that this was just

Another conspiracy to keep the black man down.

Like swimmin'.

This whole test is racially biased.

Question number one--

"what s.P.F. Lotion would you use

"if you was gonna spend a day at the polo grounds,

Fellow klan member?"

Oh, you don't need sunblock if you've got your klan hood on.

Everyone knows that, foxxy.

Unh! Huh?

Hmm!

¶ ling-ling into battle go ¶

¶ fulfill destiny of the soul ¶

¶ severed souls... ¶

Ling-ling gots a perfect score!

Well, of course.

Orientals are genetically good at standardized tests.

Uh, duh!

Ling-ling, you need to take my sats for me.

I'll be your best friend.

Ah!

Hiya!

We are gathered here today

To give these 2 queens special rights.

Aah! What is this unholy abomination?

Hi, clara.

You're just in time to witness

A fake gay marriage for the health insurance.

What? If gays get married,

The institution of marriage will be destroyed!

Societies will crumble!

Rivers will run with blood!

Nazis will once again ride on dinosaurs!

I'll take care of this.

Hey, clara, there's a jew outside

Trying to poison a well!

Aah! Oh, my god!

Get away from that well, hebrew.

What? I'm putting in water purification tablets.

Spanky tricked me.

As god as my witness,

I'll put an end to this gay marriage.

I swear!

Nice tits.

Man: heather jaimeson? Girl: here.

Man: rachel forenstein? Girl: here.

Foxxy chaquafaffa love?

Hiya!

Um, you don't look

Like a black woman.

Word, wiki-wiki,

Fravor frav!

Right.

Aah!

aah!

Aah!

The board of education doesn't take kindly

To what you're doing.

We don't mind asians taking the test for white kids

Or even the jews, but we'll be damned

If we'll let you help the blacks.

So, so, so.

Now, you're going back in there,

And you're gonna fail miss love's test on purpose.

If you don't,

Butch here is gonna go to your house

And walk around...

Without taking off his shoes.

Xandir and spanky,

I pronounce you

Legally gay married.

And now for the traditional stomping of the mayonnaise packets.