Shameless

Jesus. You really don't remember what happened last year?

Pay some fucking attention this time.

Your life's not simple, Fiona.

You're nothing like anyone I've ever met. You make me wanna enjoy my life again.

- Who the hell is that? - My dad.

In my whole career, I've never seen such a spectacular display of alcoholism.

Thank you.

- How much we short? - Eighteen dollars and 30 cents.

I'm taking the PSATs for some Polish kid.

Gonna be able to kick in 10 more.

I get paid Friday. I'll figure out the rest.

- I can loan you the money. - We don't need your charity.

Fiona, thanks for a night I'll never forget.

Who the fuck's Tony?

I've waited a long time for last night to happen.

At least Tony's not getting in my family's business.

- What the fuck is wrong, Frank? - Maybe that's what I want.

- You know nothing about me. - Then teach me.

- I'm gay. - I know.

That's for screwing my husband. I want another baby.

- What? - I get what I want...

you can have what you want.

Put the candy back now.

- Fuck. - Shit.

I like you. You're a dirty girl like me.

Jasmine, this is Veronica. V lives next door.

Hi, V.

We're only taking in a foster kid to get the money to pay for my parking tickets.

Wanna go to the park, throw the old pigskin around?

- Would it be all right if my son, Jonah, came? - Huh?

I scored you a 2200.

I'm an investigator for the Educational Evaluation Service.

This is the Robotics Lab. It is the best in the country. Come by anytime.

Science just turns me on.

- What are you hiding? - Aah!

I left them.

Your house is Frank's wet dream.

Never gonna get him out.

- Dad. - Son.

- What are we? - Friends.

- Friends? - Friends who do this.

I can do that. It says here...

- you can rededicate as a virgin. - Oral sex. Big, black strap-on dildo.

- You whore! - He humiliated me!

Get out! You don't ever come back!

- You're out of the house. - I'm out of the house!

- Whoa! - What do you think know, Daddy?

Am I still a whore?

Frank? Frank?

I think I was kind of falling in love with her.

- How long you been stealing cars? - Who says I steal them?

I have to leave town. Come with me.

Costa Rica. It's beautiful. I think I might love him.

Scary, isn't it?

I love you. I wanna be with you.

Come with me.

Seventy-seven, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82...

Won't be long now, Frank.

In a few days, she's gonna make it to the store, the hair salon...

Alibi Room, gonna meet your friends.

Ninety-nine.

Hear all those heartwarming, scumbag, freeloading Frank stories.

- Who the hell is that? - Friend from group.

- Group? - Sex Addicts Anonymous.

Gig's almost up, Daddy Frank. Time to make other plans.

One hundred!

Hey, cut it off, Ernie.

Thanks, lieutenant.

Hey, you mind if we drop Cami off early tomorrow?

Teresa's got inventory at Costco.

No problem. And tell Teresa thanks for the case of dented soup.

- Ah! - Mwah.

Pool's open!

Cannonball!

Hey, don't splash me.

Eddie goes to the corner for a pack of Luckies, never heard from again.

Goddamn city couldn't wait to stop paying him.

Wasn't two weeks before the checks stopped coming.

And now what are we supposed to live off of?

- Sheila's single disability check? - Then they go and pat me down.

How does Mr. Osama-Obama expect us to survive on that?

He's gonna try to Tase me.

If Sheila does go to work, what's she gonna make? Minimum wage at best.

- Nobody's heard from Eddie? - He Tases me.

Not a word. Man's got no sense of responsibility.

Leaving a family of three to fend for ourselves.

- Yeah, I got Tasered twice, man. - Bullshit.

What'd you say?

Uh... I said "bullshit".

I got Tasered for, like, a second, I crapped myself.

There's no way you got Tasered twice, fought off three cops, ran away. Pfft.

What, you calling me a liar?

At the very least, an exaggerator.

- A grand says I did. - He's for real.

Kev, you still got that Taser back there? I'll see your grand...

and add nine more.

Ten thousand in American legal tender says you cannot get Tasered twice...

and not soil your tighty whities, much less keep standing.

All right, shithead.

Do it.

Do it!

Again!

Fuck! What?

Where's my ten grand, motherfucker?

Hey, gorgeous, more diablos.

Think these Boy Scouts can handle that heat?

No way. Not a chance.

Six more diablos, a J. B. Back, Ketel One up with a lime wedge...

Maker's seven, and four Stellas.

- Haven't given up on that yet? - Every summer needs a challenge.

Man's in love with his own self. Probably masturbates while he licks his reflection.

- Fiona! - Hey! Hi!

Who's that, slutty's husband?

No. Hal's rounder.

- Hi! - Hey.

- Fi, this is my friend, David. - Jasmine's told me a lot about you.

Only that you're fabulous, smart and unbelievably sexy.

And that you're home for the summer from Princeton.

- I'll get us a table. - Okay.

- Princeton. - We're going out later, you wanna come?

- What about Hal? - Annual Michigan fishing trip...

with the softball buddies. Mosquitoes, bratwurst and gallons of Budweiser.

- Sounds pretty Brokeback to me. - Come later. Live a little.

- That regular? - First time I've seen him.

She probably did his taxes, then did him.

Get your guard up, Lip.

Kick him back. You're punching like a fag.

Come on.

First round. Go to your corners.

Let's place some bets.

- Hey, Mandy. - You know you're supposed to hit him?

- That kid hits hard. - What did you think this was?

I didn't think he could punch me with his foot.

- He kicked the top of my goddamn head. - Look at me.

You wanna throw in the towel?

I would if I was smart.

I'm gonna blow a fuse.

When my techno music Pop music, retro music, rock.

Turn it up on a Friday Pump it all night long.

He's crazy about you.

Long island, two Landsharks, three mojitos...

margarita no salt, Chivas neat and a Jack rocks.

All the woman needs is a pole.

Why don't you come out with us? Kev won't mind.

Can't. I got a shift at the nursing home in the morning.

Oh. This better be somebody who's about to give me a gigantic tip.

Oh, God, I'm so sorry, I thought your ass was my drink.

Hey, Justin Bieber, how's things at Goldman Sachs?

Well enough for me to afford getting ripped off here. And it's J.P. Morgan.

All you mortgage-raping shits should be in prison anyway.

I was in grad school during the mortgage crisis.

Nowadays, we're trying to short Euros so Greece will go bankrupt.

- Are we on for later? - I haven't decided if I still like you.

- Later, Mama Bear. - Hey, junior.

School night. In bed with lights out by 10.

- What? - Order's up.

All night, lookin' tight Everybody's feelin' right.

How the hell did that little guy kick Kurt fucking Landis' ass?

We make anything on my fight? Thanks.

- Nobody wanted the odds. - What'd you put down?

What, on the fight you lost? Nada.

Fraternal loyalty doesn't extend to stupidity, bud.

So Mickey's out soon?

In about a week or so, if he doesn't stab anybody else.

Plastic fork, barely broke the kid's skin, but it bought him 30 days.

You gotta be looking forward to having Mickey home again.

I guess.

Hey, I wanna stage another fight night next week.

Go around to the dojos, round up some more scrappers.

Sure. Where you going?

- Karen's. - Thought you gave up on that.

- See you. - Eh.

Karen Jackson? After that thing with your dad?

I'm sneaking antibiotics into his toothpaste, just in case.

Tomorrow, fuckhead.

Jesus Christ. Fuck.

Fuck.

- Friend dropped me off. - Right.

- What the hell you doing here? - Came to see Karen.

She went with a guy to her group.

- What group? - Sex Addicts Anonymous.

- Well, can I come in and wait? - No.

Ha-ha-ha. Looks like Old Man Dave is beating your time, Romeo.

I'm working without pharmaceutical assistance. He was popping blue pills.

- I counted four of them. - Four? Wow.

We could be here a while.

Fuck. I told my boss I'd meet him for a run in about an hour.

I could run with you.

I ran track in high school.

What? Don't look surprised.

I ran distance. I was gonna make state.

- Yeah? What happened? - Life.

- Come on. I'm fast. - Oh, really?

- I could beat your ass. - You're on.

Wait!

- Okay, ready? - Give a kick.

- Okay. - All right.

- On your mark. - Yeah.

- Get set. - Okay.

Go.