She and Me (Elle et moi)

Hello there! Excuse me, madam...

You, sir! Yes, you.

Pity.

She was charming. She probably had an angelic character.

Like all unknown women.

But then things look bad!

I know, because I have a wife.

Not two, not three - one, mine!

Since I got married it has only gotten worse.

Every day disgusting stories happen.

And yet I would say...

Oh no! Yes...

I am being interrupted... so I’ll keep quiet!

And yet I will say...

There it is again!

Well, if they bother me...

SHE AND I

Subtitles by: Pierre Janssen, 2020.

Stop! Now it’s your turn.

Elegance... negligence... free thinking...

You see a young man in a light suit who looks like me, like a brother?

Who is he?

No, it’s not me.

It was me.

I would say I’m sorry.

It was a day like any other - nothing special.

At least for now.

I was walking away from a beautiful woman...

I mean, another man’s wife!

Single men have plenty of choices,

and the privilege of observing events from the outside.

Just seeing the wedding broke my heart and made me superstitious.

God forbid!

Unlike a married man, a bachelor can walk away -

and I avoided an adventure...

until the adventure itself came to me!

She came from a very charming estate,

and was dressed in a light dress and wore a hat that was not

funnier than the others. She walked lightly like a young girl.

I despised all tactics and decided on the handkerchief trick.

Yes, that’s my way.

It never fails!

Miss!

Miss, it seems you dropped your handkerchief.

Her gesture was so light and the start went so well,

that I immediately fell in love with her and was willing to wait.

Waiter!

A glass of Cinzano!

- Is the gentleman waiting for someone? - Yes.

What do you look like... has something happened?

Not to me, but you’re almost an hour late.

- And why? - I’m asking you!

He asks what! What a child...

But my darling, I was late because you were already there.

I couldn’t bear to keep you waiting any longer.

I know what that is!

You look at your watch, you worry, you get anxious!

So tonight I decided to be on time. And 5 minutes early.

- Of course you are late. - I’m sorry!

I can’t be late, my love, since you were already there.

Oh, don’t play with words, please. It drives you crazy!

Men always have excuses.

Well, what was I talking about?

Oh yes, since you weren’t there,

I went shopping.

Three quarters of an hour... well done!

Not more than 5 minutes. You must be on time!

Do you know who I met when I left the shop?

No - Christiane. Oh, how lovely that was!

Not yet. But I feel it will get nicer.

- And now? - He just wanted to say goodbye...

And then... do you know what he did?

He grabbed me around the waist. Like this! Nice, right?

Hilarious... absolutely hilarious!

He kissed me... without even asking permission.

You’ll never guess what he told me next!

I don’t guess!

He said you’ve had too much luck for a miserable loser.

- That’s about you! - I already understood, thanks.

That poor man is jealous... did you know that?

But what’s wrong with you?

Are you sick?

It can’t be... Are you jealous too?

Me, jealous? What does that mean, I wonder?

Tell me his name!

Should I think of someone from Vaudeville?

So you’re not jealous?

No, not even to please you!

Well, great then!

Waiter!

- What do you want, miss? - Just some information!

At the end of the corridor, first door on the left.

Don’t avoid me! Do you like me?

Well, of course, compared to my wife...

- Of course, miss... - If you like me, kiss me!

Miss... huh?

Sir? Oh, the gentleman is not jealous... he doesn’t care!

Well, if the gentleman doesn’t care at all...

- Will the gentleman allow it? - For God’s sake!

Thanks! Thanks, he's jealous! Jealous! Right, darling?

And now - In Juliette's eyes I became a Romeo or a d'Artagnan!

I fought for her!

But after this event I gained more insight,

and decided to give the admiration for this girl a practical side.

We love each other... Great!

One could say... Very good.

But love... begins with love for the homeland...

and sometimes demands a sacrifice from you.

Do we agree on this?

Oh, excuse me... I was dreaming.

- Were you talking about the homeland? - I was talking about us.

Capable of doing more or less.

Excellent beef!

Did you say that?

Yes... I said...

No, thank you, enough meat! I was just talking about food and about

the fact that we are both used to having lunch and dinner together.

Right, darling!

So I imagined...

What do you actually think...

about having breakfast together?

For example near Paris?

Jean... How sweet of you to say that...

- Fontainebleau... Barbizon... - Yes!

- With you? - Of course!

Don't you think this is not just natural? There's more!

What more?

How distracted you are! You want to marry me until death do us part!

- Death? With me? - You still don't notice?

No...

It's even funnier that I didn't notice it, until the day when...

- Do you still believe he'll come? - Of course, mom!

- He loves me. - How would you know?

I explained it to him!

No, do you hear? New school!

This is teaching!

No panic! Jean has to rent a car, because...

we leave right after the wedding.

You know these cars!

We have to drive out of the garage... check the tires...

- add oil, water... - Gasoline, etc. I know!

Morality - 38 minutes late.

- And the mayor is your friend! - Excuse me?

I say the mayor is your mother's friend. What will he think?

How should I know?

- Then go and ask them to wait! - How long?

A few minutes. I'll see you in the sacristy.

First the town hall! You have no brains...

Jean, Jean! Stop, Jean!

- No! - What, no?

People like that don't get married! It's just not fair!

I'm a bachelor!

But also, darling... And don't shout like that!

I'm not shouting, I'm explaining!

Juliette, my darling, do you really see a future with me?

- Seriously? - Do you love me or not?

I adore you! If I hadn't adored you, I'd have been with you long ago

married. What does it cost me? But I want you to be happy, I care about your happiness!

- Without you? - That's right, am I worthy of you?

You are so beautiful... passionate... so sensitive and fragile...

Passionate? Not yet.

Tomorrow we'll see...

But fragile? That yes!

Juliette!

So I'm right!

Look at me! Please look!

I'm not delicate, not rich, not athletic...

I'm not even sure I'm smart...

But even if he's smart...

My mother wanted me to become a soldier.

Imagine?

So it's better to lose a day...

- Are you ready to leave me now? - Yes!

My poor dear... I know you're not rich, not handsome...

and not athletic. I immediately knew you're not an eagle!

Calm, calm.. Not so drastic!

Christien is certainly not an eagle!

I prefer him. He'll at least be completely mine!

Yours? Oh, that's too much! You can't go anywhere! And dangers!

Where is my identity going? Not to mention self-respect!

I see what's waiting for me! At home the Bastille! Imprisonments!

- One question after another! - What question?

What, what... Speaking of questions!

Can I go to only one place?

You say vulgar things when I'm in white!

See? I can't say what I want anymore!

Let me ask, what do you want me to say?

- How do I know? - If you don't know, be quiet!

Here! I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. Good!

Miss, I mean you're boring.

Correct, a boring person, in white yes, but still boring! At your service!

Jean! My darling...

Well, okay... It's fine!

I was just joking.

So you're enjoying yourself, right?

Don't be nervous on the best day of your life?

Word for word... I didn't want to hurt you!

It must be for you... It's already over...

The only question is: does the car start?

- I’m pushing! - This wasn’t enough just for you!