Frasier

I, Daphne Moon, do take thee, Niles Crane

as my husband.

I promise you my fidelity and my support...

my laughter and my tears...

my constant friendship and my unending love

as long as we both shall live.

I, Niles Crane, do take thee

Daphne Moon, as my wife.

I vow to you my fidelity and my support...

my honor and my respect...

my honesty and my protection.

You are my comfort, my joy

and my one true love.

I will cherish you all the days of my life

and treasure the journey that has brought us

to this most wonderful, perfect place.

For most folks, that's one too many free cocktails.

Am I right?

Seriously, do you have the rings?

Oh... no. In our rush to get here

I completely forgot about them.

Does this mean we can't get married?

It would if we didn't offer

seven different wedding band packages for you to choose from.

Now, depending on your budget

we can offer you anything from the "Be 'Steel' My Heart"...

that's genuine stainless right there...

to the "Never-ending Love"

which can be returned for up to 90 days; No questions asked.

They do seem the nicest.

Oh, damn, who could be calling at this hour?

Wow, you certainly don't see

six-and-a-half karat gold everyday.

Hello? Daphne, it's Roz.

Quick, turn on your TV, my building's on the news. What?

Some murder-suicide thing.

I'm going to wave to you from my balcony.

Darn, I'm not home.

Where are you? You're not going to believe this

but Niles and I flew to Reno and we're getting married right now.

You are not!

I am so.

Apparently, it's some sort of dolphin emergency.

I should go.

I'll tell you everything when we get back.

Okay, bye.

...Ooh.

Sorry.

You may exchange rings as a symbol

of the promises you've made here today.

By the power vested in me

by the State of Nevada, County of Washoe

and the all-new Lucky Seven Resort and Casino

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Good luck.

Hey, don't forget to check out our topless buffet.

He never said, "You may kiss the bride."

You may kiss the bride.

Chop, chop, Dad.

Let's get a move on.

Last time I was late for the Farmer's Market

I got the worst of the squash blossoms.

Oh, whatever shall we serve the duchess?

What?

I said, "I'm coming."

And it's not my fault I'm late, it's Daphne's.

I don't know where she is.

I had to make my own lunch.

Oh, dear Lord. Give it here.

Two bags of chips, three puddin' cups

and a root beer.

What's wrong with it?

This is not a lunch

and B: I fail to see how it took you so long

since you did not make anything

but simply transferred smaller containers into a larger one.

Let's go.

Oh, uh... Oh!

Hello, all. Hello, all.

Where have you been?

I had to make my own lunch.

Oh...

We've got some big news.

Yes, um...

maybe they should sit down.

What's going on?

Well...

last night I told Niles

that I wanted to marry him right then and there.

And once I realized she was serious

we rushed out into the night fully intending to.

But then we found out that in Washington

it takes three days to get a marriage license.

Thank goodness.

Why?

"Why?"

If we had missed your wedding

well, it would have just killed me.

It would have?

Oh, of course it would.

Niles, we've been there

through the last ten tortured years of your courtship.

How could we not be hurt if we missed the wedding?

But surely you could understand if...

if someone were carried away by their emotions.

I'm just glad it turned out the way that it did

because it would have just broken my heart.

Well, we didn't come here to break anyone's heart.

We came here to tell you

that there's a wedding in three days!

Oh, well...

Isn't that big news?

Yes.

We're going to have a...

a simple ceremony at the courthouse.

That is just wonderful.

And you know what?

By way of a celebration

please allow me to treat us all to dinner

at Coeur du Singe. How does that sound, huh?

That sounds wonderful.

Hey, Martin.

Hey, how are you doing?

Want to go to the dog park?

Oh, my God, you guys are here.

Well, I'm here, too.

Um, we were just talking about our wedding.

Oh, good, I want to hear all about it.

We're going to have a small civil ceremony on Friday.

...Huh?

Yes, if you'll excuse me

I'm in a rush to get to the farmer's market.

At this hour?

I hope you like listless radicchio.

Okay, what the hell?

I thought you guys got married in Reno?

We did

but as we were trying to tell Mr. Crane and Dr. Crane

they told us how hurt they'd be if we got married without them.

Yes, yes, which in the moment, failed to occur to us.

So, to spare their feelings

we're having a fake wedding on Friday.

Well, that works for me

because Alice is still counting on being a flower girl.

Of course. Great.

So, if you guys have two weddings

when's your anniversary going to be?

Well, I suppose to keep up appearances

it'll have to be the second one, won't it?

Well, could celebrate two anniversaries.

A public one...

and then a second, secret one just for us.

Ooh, I like that.

Sort of sexy having an anniversary

only the two of us know about.

Three of us.

I still can't believe we're married.

It's our one-day anniversary.

And we're the only ones who know.

You know, we should celebrate.

How about going to the dog park?

That doesn't sound very romantic.

I'm not talking to you.

Nervous?

Less than last time.

I guess it helps to have had a rehearsal.

That wasn't a rehearsal; It was the real thing.

This is just a touring company performance.

Right.

It's a bloody miracle we're here in one piece

what with the way you drive.

I'm better at it when someone's not screaming in my ear.

Well, in my day people didn't drive so recklessly.

Do you know why?

Is it because you rode dinosaurs?

You should talk to your daughter.

When we get home

you're getting ice cream.

We're all here, Your Honor.

Why did we all have to be here

just to pick up a bloody license?

Couldn't we have met at the church?

Mum, we aren't going to the church.

We're getting married here.

You're what?

We're having a civil ceremony.

Without a minister?

Out of the question.

Mum... That's enough, Daphne.

I am your mother and I will not bear witness to a godless union.

Gertrude, I favor a church wedding, too.

But this is their day, not ours.

Maybe we should just let them decide how it's going to be.

If people got to decide things for themselves

no one would go to church.

If I may...

I'll handle this, Your Honor.

Mrs. Moon...

you have my personal guarantee

that this will not be a godless union.