Seinfeld

I had glasses when I was 10 years old.

Anybody beat that? Anybody got 'em younger than that?

Seven.

Seven?

Two?

Anybody born with glasses? Come out...

Actually come out of the birth canal and go,

"That was a hell of a delivery, "I'll tell you that.

"Can I clean these?

"Does anybody have one of those little cloths?

"I was just born. They're a little...

Little smudgy."

Mmm!

Fantastic.

I told ya. How good is this?

It's good.

How good?

Very good.

I know it.

They put real blueberries in this. Real blueberries.

What kind did you get?

Coffee.

They grind up the coffee beans and put it in!

Let me test-taste that.

Huh? Huh?

Mmm! Qu rico!

Suave.

And it's nonfat.

See, how could this not have any fat? It's too good.

You wanna taste mine?

Oh, you wanna taste mine.

No, I don't.

If you wanna taste mine,

you don't have to offer me some of yours.

All right, let's just forget it.

Kramer's gonna clean up on this place.

What do you mean?

He invested in it.

No kidding.

Yeah, we've been coming here everyday.

This is so (BLEEP) good!

Jerry!

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's nice.

All right, we should get goin',

but I'm going to get a little bit more, okay?

Yep.

Oh, God, look who's here.

Who is it?

This guy from my old neighborhood, Lloyd Braun.

He's a big adviser to Mayor Dinkins.

He thinks he's so cool.

Ah, really?

Hey, George!

Hey!

Lloyd!

Hey!

My friend Jerry.

Hi.

Hi.

So I hear you're living back home now or something?

Yeah, there was a fire in my apartment.

Fire, huh? Hmm.

There's a lot of major chicks in this place, huh?

Something wrong with your arm?

Uh...

Uh, yeah, actually.

I-I bumped my elbow on a desk

and, uh, injured something.

And...now it sort of moves involuntarily.

Wow. That's a bitch, huh?

So how are your parents doing?

Oh, pretty good.

This place does some business, huh?

Yeah, this is my first time here.

Hey, she's a doll.

Hi.

Hello.

Uh, Elaine, this is Lloyd.

Hi.

Oh, hi. Very nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

Well, I'm really sorry I gotta run now.

Oh...

Well, take it easy, huh, George?

Yeah, yeah.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Boy, he is really cute.

He's a jerk.

He's gone, George.

All right, all right.

So there were a lotta people there, huh?

Oh, man, that yogurt place--

You're gonna make a fortune.

Yeah.

They're doing incredible business.

I told you to go in on it.

How did you know?

Well, I tasted it at the one downtown.

It's got a remarkable texture.

You'd never know it was nonfat.

Yeah?

Me.

Uh.

Hey, I had the show of my life last night.

I ad-libbed, like, 10 new minutes.

Yeah, but did you tape it?

Vfft!

Yeah.

Right there. I got it.

I did this thing on the Ottoman Empire.

Like, what was this, a whole empire based on puttin' your feet up?

Yeah.

I'm tellin' ya,

I got, like, a whole new Tonight Show here.

Hi.

Hey.

Hey.

What's the matter?

Oh, I-- I was havin' lunch,

and I bit down on the fork. Ngh.

Boy, it's hard to believe, with so much biting experience,

a person could still make a mistake like that.

Yommm!

What?

You're gettin' heavy.

What?

Yeah, you look like you put on 5...

10 pounds.

Kramer!

And I'll tell ya something else,

you look a little chunky yourself, buddy.

Me?

Yeah.

No.

Where's your bathroom scale?

Oh, my God! I've gained 7 pounds!

I've gained 8!

I told ya.

I thought I put on a couple, but 7 pounds!

How did I gain 7 pounds?

How--? How did I gain 8?

I don't get it.

I've-- I've been doing the same exercises.

I haven't been eating anything different.

Me either.

Wait a second. Maybe it's that yogurt.

No, no, no. That's 100-percent nonfat.

How else could this have happened?

Well, maybe it's the Oreos.

I don't eat Oreos.

You don't eat Oreos?

The way you break 'em open.

You're ahhhhh-uhhh-agh.

You're practically havin' sex with 'em.

What about me?

You? You're gettin' old.

Maybe your yogurt isn't so nonfat.

Oh, guess again, tubby.

Jerry, there's gotta be a way we can find that out.

There must be some lab that would do that kinda thing.

Oh! I've got it!

What?

I'll call the Food and Drug Administration.

Hey, I'll tell you what, chubs.

If that yogurt has fat in it,

I will put myself on an all-yogurt diet...

...for a week.

Well, let's start the insanity.

Nnnn, giddyup.

"Tommy Tune is a very good dancer."

You ever see Tommy Tune dance, George?

No.

I like tap-dancing.

Tap-dancing.

Anyone can tap-dance. It's all in those shoes.

Are you kidding? They practice for years, those people.

What's for supper?

Somebody's at the door.

Tommy Tune is very tall.

That helps.

It makes him lankier.

Lloyd!

Hello, Mrs. Costanza.

Georgie, Lloyd Braun is here.

Hey, Lloyd!

What are you doing here?

Well, I was just in the neighborhood visiting my mother,

so I thought I'd drop by, say hello.

Georgie, come here and say hello.

How you doing?

I hear you're a big adviser for Dinkins now.

That's right. Hey, George.

Hey, Lloyd. How's it goin'?

I ran into George yesterday in the city.

Ow!

What's the matter with you?

So, uh, how's the arm?

It's good.