A Neglected Wife

There we go. You had one job,

stay in the corner and hit the... Oh, there we go.

Alright.

Hey, babe.

- You need help with that? - Oh.

I got it, babe. It's fine.

I know you haven't had a day off in forever.

Ah, are you sure?

Mm-hmm.

Alright.

There we go.

Oh, no, no, no.

They sound kind of heavy, you got it?

- Yeah. - Alright.

Quincy?

Quincy?

Babe?

- You okay? - What is it?

Uh, you okay?

Yeah! Yeah. Just...

Must be those jalapeño poppers.

Oh, sorry...

Ooh.

I'm fine.

Doesn't sound fine...

- Hey, handsome. - Hey.

Are you feeling any better?

Yeah. Yeah, I got all that shit out of my system.

- Literally. - TMI.

Well, you asked.

But yeah, yeah, I'm feeling better now.

- That's good. - Yeah.

You know what else would be good?

Um... Love you, gotta go.

Love you too.

Let's open up the feet wide, right here.

Seriously? That was just the warm up,

that was level one.

Cheers, girl.

Ooh, sorry, girl. I can't with this.

Girl, come on!

That ginger is gonna unblock your chakras

and the black cohosh is gonna get your uterus

all ready for mommyhood.

Wait.

You and Quincy are still trying for a baby, right?

I thought by now, we'd have two, but...

Quincy wanted to hold off until we were financially situated,

- and now that we are... - What?

I don't want to talk about it.

Girl...

I shouldn't even be telling our business like this, um...

But he hasn't touched me in forever.

Oh, damn!

A dead bedroom, that's right up there with Osogbo's curse.

But every couple goes through this

when they've been together a while.

Six days.

That's the longest that Tayo and I have gone

without making love.

The point that I'm trying to make is

you deserve to be adored and held, queen.

Back in college, we used to get it in.

Constantly.

The beach, the backseat of his Jeep.

Ooh.

His auntie's basement!

Lord, please forgive me for that one.

So, what happened?

Hard to say.

But lately, we're starting to feel like roommates.

You don't think...

I shouldn't say.

What?

Quincy never gave off cheating vibes, but...

I can't see that happening.

Maybe it's ED.

He's 34!

Processed foods have been known

to make testosterone levels free fall.

Girl, no.

Well, tonight is a new moon,

so this is the perfect opportunity for you two

to reconnect on a different level.

I don't know.

Every time I bring it up, he just changes the subject.

Listen, all you have to do is...

Yes, I was going through your most recent report

which seems to indicate that language arts scores

declined across the district by, was it 12%? Was it 13%?

13%.

I see.

If you had to guess,

what do you think was the cause?

Um...

Honestly, I can't point to a single reason.

I... there are probably several contributing factors.

Can you please elaborate?

Well, the decline in...

It's hard to say--

Um, can you please give me a sec?

I'm expecting a package.

How about we take five. Okay?

Perfect. Thanks.

Hi.

You don't look like the delivery guy.

Well, I used to do that.

But these days I'm selling something next to godliness.

Um... no, thanks.

My husband and I already have life insurance, so...

I ain't selling insurance, ma'am.

Ma'am?

Didn't mean to offend you.

I'm from the south and it's a show of respect

where I'm from.

So, what are you selling, um... Cordell?

Well, since you know my name,

I think I ought to know yours, right?

Belinda? Belinda, are you back on yet? I don't see you.

- Uh... - Okay, Belinda.

Yeah, that's real pretty.

I don't have time for this right now.

I'm in the middle of a work meeting so...

Hey, I'll be back in the area tomorrow, so...

You still haven't told me exactly what you're selling.

This is my card.

Uh, well, in the interest of not wasting your time,

I don't have any carpets.

Well, I don't just clean carpets,

I clean drapes, curtains, rugs as well.

Belinda?

Sorry, I really gotta go.

What's wrong?

The new kid, he mixed up the generics

with the brand-name cholesterol meds.

Of course, I caught it in time.

$3,258 mistake and he's all like,

"Hey, oh. Cool your jets, man."

Well, you said he was new.

Yeah, Amir, he's one of those

"any excuses to take a smoke break" kind of guys.

I don't mean cigarettes.

Remember that night we tried edibles?

Quincy, I lost track of how many times you made me...

All I can remember is waking up to an epic migraine

the next morning.

Well, I was thinking maybe tonight we could--

Just hold that thought.

Nature calls.

Babe.

- What the hell? - I miss you.

Ah, come on, Belinda! Come on.

Shit!

Do you even love me anymore?

What kind of question is that?

Are you okay? 'Cause you don't...

You don't look okay.

How did this happen to us?

Honey, please.

You haven't touched me

since I stopped taking the pill three months ago.

I'm not a machine, Belinda!

I can't just perform for you on demand

every time you're ovulating and...

Is this your way of saying you changed your mind

- about us having a baby? - No, no, no. Don't do that.

Don't do that. Don't put words in my mouth.

Quincy...

Are you even happy?

If I wasn't happy... ah, shit.

Belinda, if I wasn't happy, I wouldn't still be here.

- Hey. - Hey.

Still a good time, I hope?

Yeah. But I'm not sure if you can help.

We'll see.

I tried to get it out myself, but...

Ooh.

Yeah, this is a...

it's definitely going to need a deep clean.

It's all good, though. Look, I got all the right tools,

we'll restore its luster and color, and...

it'll be good as new.

Cordell, I... I have to be honest.

I haven't told my husband about your services.

Well, look. The stain is actually going to be

the least of your worries.

Now, a lot of people don't realize this,

but it's a health hazard if you don't get a regular,

proper cleaning.

I'm sure you wouldn't want to chance bacteria and...

dust mites. Now, would you?

Of course not. Quincy just has this rule,

any financial decision over $200,

we have to make it together, and...

You want to call?

I mean, look, the rug is going to be $299,

but I can throw in the curtains for free.

You know what, it's fine.

Go ahead and get started.

Yes, ma'am.