Malicious

Come on, Dougie.

I got it, Dad.

Catch it closer to your body.

That'’s it.

That'’s okay. We'’ll try again.

That'’s the one, Dougie.DOUG: I got the ball.

Now throw it back to me.DOUG: I got the ball!

Who'’s gonna be in the big leagues, Dougie?

I'’m gonna play baseball.

Pow! You see that?

Tell Mom what you'’re gonna do. What are you gonna play?

I'’m gonna play big baseball.

And you'’re gonna be the one, kiddo.

That'’s great, honey.DOUG: I wanna throw the ball.

Come on, Dougie. Come back over here.

I want you to stay there.

I'’ll stay here. You throw me the ball.

It went all the way over there.

That'’s wonderful.DAD: Now throw it back.

I wanna be in the...

I got the bat, Mom!DAD: Okay, Watch this.

Hold tight. Keep your eye on the ball.

He almost lost the game.

Two down. The Bulldogs are still behind by two.

I don'’t believe it.

Swing, batter, batter, batter.

The Mighty Doug Gordon...

Talk about a great season. Forty-three home runs.

RBI'’s, 60. Up to bat...

Yeah!

[PEOPLE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]

That'’s a good one, Dougie!

Low and inside.

Mendez is one of the league'’s great southpaws.

More sporadic today.

Last time these two teams met, he threw a perfect game.

Here'’s the pitch. Strike!

Ooh! I don'’t know about that.

I thought that was a little high.

I think Gordon did too.

The crowd'’s not happy with that one,

but Gordon'’s not contesting.

He'’s waiting for the big one.

Bingo! It'’s going!

It is going! It'’s gone!

Guess who?

Hey.

What is this?

Are you gonna keep this stupid thing?

Yeah.Why?

Come here. For this.Heh.

Stop it, heh. It tickles.

Oh, hey, I got you something.

What?

What is it?

Open it.

A bat?

Yeah, but look at what it says.

"Home Run 100, Doug Gordon."

It must mean a lot to you.

It does. That'’s why I gave it to you.

Heh. Thanks.

Well, all I'’ve got for you is some good news.

What, you'’re not gonna leave me alone this weekend?

No, but you'’re off the hook tonight. Dinner'’s canceled.

My dad had to fly off to Tokyo last minute.

Well, at least I can use the extra time,

I can put it to some studying.

Are you still cramming?

Do you have any idea

how many bones there are in a single human hand?

No, Dr. Gordon.

Why don'’t you tell our studio audience

and all our friends at home.

How many bones are there?

Very funny.

Here we are today with Dr. Gordon,

preeminent sports physician and doctor to the stars.

Dr. Gordon, is it true

that your lovely girlfriend Laura was instrumental

in your early success as a student of sports medicine?

Well, I would have to say it was more her

unwavering loyalty,

her understanding...Heh.

And, of course, her sexual prowess.

Mm. Honey?

What?

We'’re in a library.

There'’s nobody here.

Come on, nobody'’s gonna see us.

I'’m not gonna see you again. It'’ll be exciting. Come on.

We never have any time alone. Jesus.

I'’m sorry.

Ah, stupid.

It'’s okay. I overreacted a little.

Well, I better get going.

I'’ve got a long drive ahead of me.

I'’ll call you later, okay?

Heh. Bat.

Good luck with your interview.

Thanks. I'’ll call you as soon as I get there.

Hey hey, Dougie! Where you been?

I was in the library.

Oh, yeah. What'’s that?

You see that big building over there?

It'’s got, like, books inside it.

And people go there and they read.

Oh, yeah, I think I'’ve been there once or twice.

Uh-huh.

So, what'’s up, bud? No big date tonight?

No, no, not for this guy. Not for this guy.

Although Jay and Dean called.Uh-huh.

They'’re throwing a big party at the beach tonight.

Ugh! You'’re gonna have to tell me all about it.

Oh, come on. The whole team'’s gonna be there.

I can'’t. Why?

Laura have other plans for you tonight?

No. Actually she'’s away for a couple days.

All right. So you'’re a free man.

No, man, I can'’t.

I got tons of studying I have to do.

And I promised my mom I'’d go out with her tonight.

Now it'’s your mother?

[INDISTINCT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Look, man, she'’s not doing too good since my dad died.

I'’m sorry. I'’m sorry, man.

I, uh, forget sometimes.

You all right?Yeah. It'’s cool.

Yeah, it'’s cool.All right.

Look, it'’s early yet, all right?

We walk in and out, say hello.Ah.

Ten minutes, that'’s all I ask of you.

I can'’t.Oh, come on! Come on.

Ten minutes.

Please. We walk in and out.

Well, you'’ve been working your ass off.

All right. Ten minutes.Yeah?

Ten. That'’s it. Sure?

Okay? I'’m positive.All right. Good.

See you then? All right.All right. See you then.

Hey, Doug! Yeah!

Doug! Hey, Doug, did Laura find you?

Yeah, I was in the library.

Yeah, can you believe that?

Just like that she gets a call for Stanford.

One minute they'’re being aloof.

And the next thing, they want you to drop everything.

Don'’t they realize we have lives too?

I think it'’s a really big pain in the--

Doug?

Doug?Hey, thanks for, uh...

For getting me into Lesher'’s class.

I appreciate it.JUDY: It'’s no problem.

It'’ll be nice to have you in the class.

Uh, just make sure you know the pulmonary

and cardiovascular systems,

because Lesher can be a real hard ass.

Did he tell you we'’re dissecting a cadaver next week?

I can'’t wait.

Hey, what are you drinking?JUDY: Cuba libre.

Beer'’s over there.I'’ll see you later.

Heh, I'’ll see you later.MAN: Nice, dude.

Doug! Dougie-Dog.

Here he is, folks. This is Doug Gordon.

He is the breaker of records and hearts alike.

Cocktail? No, thanks.

You know we have a game tomorrow. Remember?

Yes, but tomorrow is a very long way away.

Now, I want you to gaze before you, Doug.

I want you to tell me what you see.

[BAND PLAYING AND MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

A reggae band?

Babes, Doug. I'’m talking about women.

Wait, Doug.

Pardon me. I'’ve been on Prozac for a month

and my thighs are swelling.

And I was wondering if you knew anything about...

Hi, Doug.

Do I know you? No.

But everyone here seems to know you.

Small town. Baseball team, you know.

Want a cigarette?No, thanks. I don'’t smoke.

They'’re American Heritage.

All natural. No chemicals.

They'’re practically good for you.

I like your beard.Oh, thanks.

Makes you look kind of like Mark McGwire.

You know Mark McGwire?Oakland A'’s.

229 home runs, 632 RBIs.

You'’re into baseball.Obsessed.

I guess you play. Yeah.

Do you go to Bellport?