Axe Cop

The holy chamber's been breached.

Protect the diamond!

Well, Cousin Rooster,

for the last time, you git.

My name ain't rooster.

It's Lord Diamond!

You hear that, boys?!

Rooster's called himself Lord Diamond.

The diamond did not choose you.

You ain't a man. You half a man.

You a half-man, half-nothin'!

Y'all are wrong! And I'll show you.

I call upon the ancient words--

hee-haw!

Lord, I'm coming home to you.

No-oooo!

Boy: One day, at the scene of the fire

the cop found the perfect axe.

That was the day he became Axe Cop!

So he had tryouts and hired a partner.

Axe Cop: I will chop your heads off!

Team, time to work on our battle cries.

I'll go first, since mine is the best.

Sockarang, go!

Nice. Ralph wrinkles, go!

Better. Flute Cop, you're up.

Great. Wexter!

Love it. Grey Diamond!

I-i-i-i-i don't have one!

That's the worst battle cry ever.

No no no. That's what I'm saying,

I don't have a battle cry.

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it, buddy.

It's not like you have any powers, proper training

or fighting skills. So you don't need a battle cry.

You're right, Flute Cop. I guess I don't have much of a purpose here.

And you know what? I'm not one to hold my best friends back.

So you guys keep fighting crime

and I'm going to go find something else awesome to do.

What? You can't leave the team!

What are you going to do for money?

Oh, don't worry about me.

Old Grey Diamond here,

he lands on his feet.

Whoa, did Grey Diamond just quit?

Because he doesn't get unemployment if he quits. I told him that.

- ( Thunder rumbling ) - ( Melancholy music playing )

You look so dumb with that big diamond on your head, bro.

Guess I don't need this stupid thing anymore.

- ( Bell rings ) - Welcome to my pawnshop.

What can I pawn for you today?

What's up, bro? I got a big diamond on my head

and I gotta pawn this a.S.A.Possible.

Hmm. Where'd you get that, Ace?

Well, my low-energy friend, pull up a chair,

'cause I got a story that's gonna blow your head off.

You see, people didn't always call me Grey Diamond.

No no. My parents thought "Frankenstein"

was a pretty cool name, so they called me Mark Frankenstein.

Wait. You're world-renowned diamond expert

- Mark Frankenstein? - Oh wow.

I haven't heard that name in years, bro.

Grey Diamond: I lectured on some of the most controversial

diamond theories of my day.

The legendary Grey Diamond

holds unlimited power.

Whoever possesses that power can do anything.

- ( Bell rings ) - Tomorrow we're gonna pick up

on how diamonds can tell you your destiny

if you listen really closely.

Whoo.

Hey, sergeant g, my old partner! High fives!

I thought they were shipping you out

- to the chicken head war. - Mark, I need your help.

Some miners in Alabama found a diamond.

The army wants to cut it up and sell it to get rich.

That doesn't concern me. I'm a professor now--

of children. My diamond-hunting days are long behind me, best friend.

No no, don't worry about it, no.

I-i-- I understand.

Oh, and by the way,

that diamond they found? It's grey.

It's grey.

It's grey. It's grey.

Oh, bro.

The Grey Diamond.

Nobody's been able to pull this diamond out.

I guess we're just gonna have to cut it out.

- ( Saw whirring ) - Stop right there!

Nobody cuts this diamond!

Mark Frankenstein?

Ha ha ha. No one respects you

or your crazy diamond theories.

Now stand back. Cut through him if you have to.

No-oooo!

- What the heck? - ( Moans )

Grey Diamond!

But turns out the Grey Diamond has no powers.

At all. Like zero.

Yep, just kind of a cool hat really.