DC's Legends of Tomorrow

Previously on "Legends of Tomorrow"...

I couldn't send Neron into hell

without sending Dez down with him.

I killed the man I loved, and for what?

John, you have to stop this.

If Desmond isn't dragged to hell

and you don't join the Legends,

the effects could be cataclysmic.

History be bloody damned.

I really care about you.

This thing between us, it isn't real.

It never was.

- Uh... - What's that?

I think John just broke time.

Oy, Zee, check this out.

I got my powers back.

Zari.

Constantine did it.

He changed the timeline back in New Orleans.

He saved old Dez.

Unfortunately, I have no idea why you're a cat, Zee.

- - Oh, quit your whinging.

I know it's a pretty raw deal for you.

Especially 'cause...

Well, who knows what they put in cat food.

On the plus side you are cute as hell.

Zee, it has been an experience.

Now, I'm gonna set the autopilot

to take you back to the "Waverider,"

but first we're gonna drop me off somewhere fabulous.

Hope y'all are thirsty for champagne.

Because I'm feeling a little bubbly.

- - Whoo!

Hello, Red.

Ms. Monroe. How's lady luck treating you?

Ooh. Ooh.

Red, it's me. Charlie.

- Shapeshifter. - Cheers to Saint Patrick.

What are you doing here?

I haven't seen you since we escaped from that prison.

Yeah. Hey listen, mate.

You got to stop doing your leprechaun magic

so out in the open like this, all right?

I do this all the time.

These humans, they don't notice anything.

Watch.

- Lucky 11. Winner! -

Quit doing that.

But I'm just having a little fun.

What's got you so worried?

The Magic Police?

They're called the Legends and I'm just trying

to stay off their radar for a little while.

Sounds to me like you're scared.

What, of them?

No, no, no, they're not dangerous.

They're just annoying little boy scouts, you know?

Reach for the sky, you filthy animals.

Pretty please.

He asked nicely.

Greetings, gentlemen.

Ah, the leprechaun.

You fellas play?

Ahh... no.

Oh, my God. Why did you do that?

Marilyn Monroe.

I am killing it at historical figure bingo.

All right, everyone, calm down.

We just saved your butts

from a very dangerous magical creature.

Who are you guys?

Hi, Nate Heywood. Monster hunter.

Just wanted you ladies to know you're in good hands.

Man, Garima is gonna flip

when she hears we met Marilyn Monroe.

Do you think a murderous alien queen

that sprang to life from Mick's fantasies is into Marilyn?

Yes.

Hmm.

What is up with these guys?

Gideon, any messages while we were gone?

You missed calls from Barry Allen,

Oliver Queen, and Kara Zor-El.

Sounds like the annual crossover.

Yeah, that's gonna be a hard pass.

Did I tell you Oliver owes me money?

I bet this year they'll swap costumes.

Oh, Zari. Well, I'm glad to see

that you made it back to the ship okay.

Okay, I hear you. You're still mad at me.

Listen, I really need your help.

All right, yeah, I can see that being a cat

is your main concern right now,

but I still don't know why you're a cat.

Ms. Tomaz was turned into a cat

during the team's encounter with a Fairy Godmother.

Whoa, Gideon, your latest upgrade, smoking.

Thank you, Miss Jiwe.

Amaya Jiwe, yup, that's me.

And may I say your new upgrade and accent

are also smoking.

- Oh, yeah. - Mm-hmm.

You know, I'm just trying something out.

Yeah, okay, one last question.

Why are the Legends homicidal wankers now?

If you're referring to the Custodians of the Chronology,

their policy towards magical creatures

has been shoot on sight

since their disastrous encounter at Woodstock.

Right. Thanks, Gideon.

Must be fallout from

Constantine altering the timeline.

Right, this zero tolerance bollocks ends now.

Hey, people!

I have an announcement to make.

Please, gather around.

Come listen.

So I know our shoot-first, ask-questions-never policy

has lead to some interesting decorations,

but it's time to change.

From now on we are going to capture the magical creatures

and bring them to the Bureau like we are supposed to.

Why are you looking at me weird?

Well, just seems like a shame to change our policy now.

Considering we're so close to capturing our white whale.

That's a "Moby Dick" reference.

And what is your white whale?

The only creature we haven't been able to capture

because it's quite elusive.

Maybe because it has the ability to change shape.

Shapeshifter!

How dare you step on this ship

and pretend to be our dead captain.

What?

Wait, Sara's dead?

Yeah, that's why we know you're not Sara.

Is that why you guys are like this?

Like what?

Hunting down magical creatures like it's a...

- - Yes!

Damn it, Garima.

I called dibs on killing shapeshifter last week.

You know what? He did.

You remember when we were roasting

that little baby Gryphon,

which was delicious, by the way,

but you guys got into an argument

about who actually killed it, so then Ray got upset

and he was like, "Hey, I wanna kill the shapeshifter."

Oh, it heals itself and turns into Amaya.

This is not good.

- Kill her again! - I get to kill her this time.

After her!

- - Zari.

Oh, bollocks.

- Go, go! - Come on, Ray!

- - Check the library!

Make sure she doesn't steal anything!

They've become maniacs.

- Okay, this is bad. -

What, Constantine? Yes, this is his fault.

He needs to help us fix this, but where is he?

Nice work, Zari cat.

I can't very well walk around here looking like this.

Oh, hush, it's still me

despite the insane grin on my face.

I don't remember there being a memorial here.

Sara Lance struck down by unicorn.

Bollocks.

Gary, you're late.

Uh, sorry, Mr. Heywood,

my cat-sitter quit on me, so...

This place is going to hell in a hand basket.

Yeah, it's my bad, sir.

Look, the Custodians of the Chronology

just destroyed a freaking leprechaun.

All right, you know what? If you see them,

tell them they're getting a scream-down from me.

Oh, one more thing, Mr. Heywood.

Have you seen John Constantine around?

Is that a joke?

He's been in confinement for months.

You put him there.