Full House

'Becky, I told you. We're not cutting their hair.'

Run from mommy, run from mommy.

Run! Run! Run! Run!

Run from mommy. Come on.

Jess, come on. You're being ridiculous.

Beck, it took us forever to grow their hair this long.

Not a cut just a little trim.

No. D-Don't even kid.

Uncle Jesse, why do you care so much about hair?

Alright, everybody. Come on, gather round.

I'm gonna give you guys a little life lesson.

Oh, I can't wait to hear this.

Now, here's my theory.

When you're a baby, you're bald.

That's right.

Then when you get old, again. Boom, bald!

But that magic in between time that's the important time guys.

That's when you gotta grow your hair

nurture it with the proper requirements

and then... flaunt it!

Now, guys. Does that sound good? Hmmm?

Do you know what I like best about your hair?

Oh, silky sheen, the uh, natural luster?

No! I like to mess it up!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I just moussed, I just moussed.

Alright boys! Rock-n-roll!

That's good!

Alright. Okay.

Very good. Now cut. Okay.

Stop. Please, stop. Stop. Stop.

Cut means daddy has a headache.

You guys were good, I could've used you on tour this summer.

That's it, rock and roll!

Next time, we go out, you guys should be my

little rug rat roadies, okay?

Jess, the mail's here! "Billboard magazine."

Give me. Give me. Give me.

- Don't be nervous. - I'm not.

Nicky, Alex, your daddy's nervous.

I am not nervous.

This is where a whole summer of touring pays off, okay?

Here it is, here it is. "The hot 100 singles."

Let's see last week, "Forever" was 68.

Let's see where it shot up to this week, shall we?

"Forever", "Forever", "Forever", "Forever."

"Forever", "Forever" "Forever", "Forever".

This is taking forever.

Jess, uh, does it really matter about these charts?

I mean, does it really matter if you're 1 or 99?

Well, I-I'd rather be 1.

Well, of those two, what would be your second choice?

I'm 99!

Well, honey, you're still in the top 100.

I mean, you're doing better than that one guy there.

I'm gonna get Nicky and Alex ready to go to Aunt Ida's.

Come on, boys, this way. Come on, Nick, this way.

Come on, come on, come on.

Where's dad? Where's Joey? We gotta get to the airport!

Don't just sit there.

D.J.'s coming back from Spain.

Girls relax, we have plenty of time.

I can't wait till she gets back.

D.J. is gonna save my summer.

What are you talking about, save your summer?

You had a good summer, Steph.

You went to day camp.

Oh, yeah. Camp Day O' Fun.

I was the oldest camper there.

The other kids called me "ma'am."

This is from D.J. See? "D.J."

Can somebody read the rest?

Alright! D.J.'s bringing home a big surprise.

I knew she'd come through.

Do you see the word, "present?"

It starts with a "P."

Well, she doesn't say but that's gotta be it.

And after she gives us our presents

she probably gonna spend all her time with us.

Because she missed us like crazy.

Okay, everybody, D.J.'s plane has been in the air

exactly 13 hours and 7 minutes.

Now, allowing for headwinds and turbulence that means

right about now, she's over Saskatchewan

enjoying a diet soda and her second bag of honey-glazed nuts.

I hope she didn't rent one of those headsets though.

You never know whose ears they've been in.

Danny, relax, please. Breathe with me. In, out.

Jess, I don't need to breathe.

Well, I do every once in a while.

I can't believe she's been gone for eight weeks.

I missed her so much, I can't wait for her

to just get off that plane and jump into my arms.

- Come on, we're gonna be late. - Everybody just relax.

Now, look at this we have, we have an hour.

Now, how long does it take to drop the kids off

at Aunt Ida's and get to the airport?

- 57 minutes. - Girls, let's move it!

Come on. Move, move, move.

Joey, Rebecca, if you're not downstairs

in 10 seconds, we're leaving without you.

Okay, okay, you guys, I'm sorry. I'm going crazy.

Yesterday, I met this incredible woman at the beach.

She could possibly be the future Mrs. Joey Gladstone.

We could spend the rest of our lives together.

Now, if I could just find her phone number.

Have you checked your Snagglepuss bathing suit?

Yes, I checked there already. This is so pathetic.

Not as pathetic as a grown man in a Snagglepuss bathing suit.

Alright, come on, everybody, let's go.

- Becky! - Don't you know her name?

Of course I do, it's uh, it's Mary something.

I'll think of it, I just have to clear my head.

Oh, that shouldn't take long.

Okay, the boys are ready.

For what? The Eddie Munster look-alike contest?

You know what Aunt Ida says.

With the hair over their eyes, she can't see their faces.

Yes, but on the plus side, they can never see hers.

Ah! Get the hair looking cool. Atta boy.

Now, you're having a proper hair day. Let's go.

Okay, D.J.'s plane is two minutes late

we're five minutes early, I got 30 minutes

left on the parking meter.

Anybody have a calculator?

Or a tranquilizer gun?

Mary.

Mary Czechinski.

- God bless you. - No, no. That's her name.

Mary Czechinski. I'll be right back.

I'm gonna get information and get her number.

'Flight 90 is now boarding at gate 62..'

- Excuse me. - Oh, an autograph.

See? You see what I mean, I slipped a little in the charts

but the true fans still know who I am.

Who are you?

I just wanted to know if you dropped your pen.

That is my pen.

You'll be sorry!

This is Jesse Katsopolis!

- Sweetheart, it's okay. - No, it's not okay.

He is gonna be a big star and then you'll be

begging him for his autograph!

What are you looking at? Go. The show's over, scatter, go.

Yes, that's Czechinski.

You spell it just the way it sounds.

C-h..

Chin sky.

Oh, come on. You're directory assistance.

Get your directory and assist me.

Hello? Hello?

Oh, boy, Alexander Graham Bell started this whole thing...

Come on, Joey. D.J.'s plane's here.

I can't wait to see that surprise.

I hope it fits in the car.

Girls, we're here to see D.J., it doesn't matter

what she brought us.

Isn't Spain noted for their leather goods?

Hmm-mm.

Los tanneritos.

- Mi familia! - Hi, Kimmy.

'Hi, Kim.' - Kimmy, where is su familia?

- My family? - Yeah, remember them?

Sure, I do. They said, to come home with you.

They figured you'd be going out for a fancy dinner

and you would treat me.

You know I haven't had a good lobster..

Ever!

Wouldn't it be great if they could lose the passengers

instead of the luggage?

- Where's D.J.? - I don't know.

All I'm looking at is Romeo and Juliet over there.

That girl Juliet looks like D.J.

Hi, everybody!

- Hey! - Hi.

- Welcome home. - Good to see you.

So, D.J., what's the big surprise?

Oh, right!

Everybody, this is Steve.

Hi, Steve.

So, D.J., what's the big surprise?

Steve is the surprise.

We're going together.

Surprise.

So..

'...uh..'

You guys all came in one car?

Excuse me, let me get this straight.

He's the surprise?

It's now official. My summer is down the tubes.

Ask her where our presents are.

Steve.