The Eric Andre Show

Ladies and gentlemen, it's "The Eric Andre Show"!

Go-o-o-o-o-o-al!

Hey!

Be-bah!

Ahh!

Okay.

Oh! Hey!

I guess this show found out about my favorite movie...

"Sideways."

Mazel tov!

Mazel tov cocktail.

Buy the Torah, y'all. Now for kids.

Oh, you're working with wheat paste?

Yeah. Dude, I love that stuff.

How you doing? I'm glad I'm on my lunch break.

I didn't know I was going to run into a member

of the wheat paste brotherhood.

Ha! Oh, my God, dude.

This stuff is so good for you.

Mind if I take a dip?

Mmm.

You're eating this shit plain?

I'm not eating that shit at all.

Don't pour that in there!

How you gonna pour something in there

that don't belongs to you?

Well, it's just a little cinnamon.

It doesn't matter. You still poured it in there.

I'm in that ad. You pick that shit up again,

you're gonna get beat the up.

Look. That's me, man. That's me in that commercial.

See? That's me.

- Oh, yeah, it is you. - Why you acting so crazy?

Back in the day, we used to eat buckets of this

and buckets of this.

I used to be like, "Oh, yeah."

I would be and shit, like...

No brakes! I got no brakes!

Shit. That guy's really hurt.

I'm gonna use my urine to cauterize his wounds.

Good enough for jellyfish stings,

good enough for bicycle accidents.

What the hell is wrong with you?

This is healing him.

This guy picks my stuff up

and puts cinnamon stuff in it when I'm trying to work.

He pulled his penis out and peed on this guy.

Okay. What do you want to do? You want to complain?

Pulled his dick out and peed on this guy.

He's crazy.

Dude, I'm messing with you, man.

See the camera right there?

I don't give a about no camera right now.

I'm trying to...

One, two, three, four!

Uh, this next actor is from, um,

"My Best Friend's Wedding"... Dermot Mulroney.

You are handsome.

You're like a young Anderson Cooper.

You know, I have a lot of respect for Anderson Cooper.

I suspect that he is... Gay.

No, that aside... He is.

I totally respect that.

You got a weird voice, man.

Now, what is that?

My brother has one too.

Just one of my brothers, so...

Shhhh.

That's Blannibal. Blannibal.

You were, um... What'd you say?

It's time for "Vape Crepe Slap Rap" with Wale!

Who is it?

I missed that whole part of our culture.

I wanted to sit in the chair.

I've been there.

They're... They're, they're rebooting "Bird Up!"

with, like, a all-female cast.

That's what's really happening.

They decided just to go full female.

"Ghostbusters" and everything is coming up

a female version of it. I don't know.

There's no way any man on Earth

could play these roles after we see that.

Not everything.

You're watching "Bird Up!" Lizzo-style.

Suck my dick!

That's too much.

No? It's too much?

Yeah, 'cause I'm his woman.

Aah! Go! Run!

Bird up! Lizzo up!

Bird, bird! Lizzo, Lizzo! Bird up! Bird up!

It's just me and my bird pussy.

Bird pussy is the best pussy.

Give a nigga 69 orgasms. Aah!

You got a girlfriend? What's wrong with you?

Ahh. Huh?

Michael Jackson is your son?!

Yeah, Michael. I'm Michael Jackson!

Let's go!

These are my streets, Eric!

It's my show now.

Lizzo up!

Aaah!

Dermot Mulroney, I'm watching you.

Okay.

It's hard. It's hard to do.

Ah.

And we are back with Dermot Mulroney.

What do you call this, you know, your emcee table?

Uh, a desk.

That's what... Hey, it's time to scream.