Mad Men

I want all the partners here.

I'm going to need an apartment in the city.

Absolutely not.

I'm going to need your resignation.

Lane hanged himself in his office.

Why don't you spend Thanksgiving with her

and I'll go to your house and screw your wife.

Good luck with that.

You know I don't want you to fail.

Good.

Because I'm not going to.

What are you doing?

I'll make breakfast.

_

_

Don, you're gonna be late.

Damn it.

- Bonjour, Marie. - Would you like an omelet?

- I'd better not. - You can't eat an egg?

Do I have to call the dentist?

- It'll go away. It always does. - Go easy on the mouth wash.

Have fun.

_

- Why bother him? - With what?

"We're sorry that there's been no response to your reel.

We would encourage you to try our advanced film workshop for a low--"

What is it?

I paid for a screen test.

They were supposed to send it to agents.

And they weren't interested?

How could they have sent it to anybody but me in a week?

They're selling classes.

It's a great thing to take advantage of hopeless people.

Hopeless?

_

Oh, Beth, I don't know if you remember Pete Campbell.

Of course. We almost had dinner.

How was the second honeymoon?

Did you create another beneficiary?

So where are you off to?

She's gonna stay with her sister for a little bit.

And where is that?

You know what, honey?

I'm going to the smoke room.

- We'll have to stand. - You don't have to come.

Don't take it personally.

She's in a mood.

Excuse me.

Can-- Can I just get by here, please?

- Go right ahead. - Thank you.

Morning.

Morning.

38?

- Where are you going? - I made a mistake.

Okay.

Because I heard that the parachute company upstairs

got a big government contract and moved to Washington

to be closer to the cemetery or something.

For once, mind your own business, Harry.

All I'm saying is if we're getting more space,

I'll take anything without a column in it.

We offered you another office and you turned it down.

You didn't want his office either.

So is it true or not?

I need a window, Joan. I'm getting scurvy.

Adam?

"Topaz-- Always less expensive, never cheap."

- I hate it. - No, you don't.

So we're aiming for cheap girls?

- Girls, not cheap. - So we're cheap.

Art, come on. We agreed on a value approach.

- I hate the word "cheap." - And so do I!

That's why I put the word "never" in front of it.

You say the word, you put it on their mind.

I hate to quote you directly,

but didn't you say that with Topaz,

a girl could be sexy for pocket change?

I thought it was gonna be "two for one, twice the fun."

That really sounds cheap.

Perhaps Don can answer this.

Gentlemen, how are you?

Art and Marvin object to the word "cheap."

You're aware the word does not refer to Topaz.

Clearly it states the exact opposite.

And it's very funny.

We're supposed to be part of a fantasy,

and I don't think cheap is part of any girl's fantasy.

Why don't you get a girl's opinion?

I used to take that as a given here.

And I'm not talking about black coffee out there.

- We're happy to copy test it for you. - What's that gonna cost?

They're not charging us. They should've done it already.

- Let me walk you out. - See you soon.

Why the hell didn't you get any research?

Because we never had to do it for them before.

The client didn't like it and we did. In the end is how we know it's good.

- Then this is a success. - I consider it a success

he didn't have to go a single day

without telling me I'm an idiot.

I'll tell you what-- I'm so bored of this dynamic.

I have your sister in law.

- Hello, Judy. - No, it's me.

- Beth. - I know who it is.

- I have to see you. - Jesus, I'm at work.

Clara, could you go to the lobby and get me a pack of Life Savers?

What's wrong with the machine?

I want them fresh.

So you ran into me on the train

and suddenly remember who I was?

Meet me where you wanted to meet before--

The hotel Pennsylvania.

I'll be there at noon under the name Mrs. Campbell.

I hope you like waiting. That's what I did.

This may be our last chance.

Why is this so hard?!

It has to be 125 words

and 15 of them have to be Ajax.

Fellas, can I have miss Olson to myself for a minute?

- Do you smoke? - Not really.

Well, get started.

- Smoke it, name it, sell it. - What is it?

Philip Morris's top secret ladies' cigarette.

Leo Burnett thinks it's too small, and now it's in review.

So it's your job to make sure they're sorry.

- Great. - Evan!

Flip through the research check * leisure

and then get your little ones on it.

Did they tell you anything I should know?

Does your boyfriend light your cigarettes?

- I don't smoke. - Yes, you do.

It's gotta make noise. Maybe she lights it herself.

So is that what it is, or is it something like that?

You're a woman and you smoke.

What do you want?

All of last year's third and fourth quarters' work has posted

with sizeable checks from Vicks, Sugarberry,

and Heinz in the bank.

And with Mohawk returning to its prestrike billings,

revenues are up 34% from last year,

making this our best quarter.

It's march. It's our only quarter.

Not this year. Ever.

And with Jaguar due to run

and Butler shooting and running within the month,

projections for next quarter are equally bright.

Have you found me an office?

Unfortunately, I was unable to go upstairs this morning.

Harry Crane.

But I am meeting with the building manager at lunch.

Get more than we need.

Any objections?

I'm sorry, but I feel someone has to voice the negatives.

Perhaps after one quarter, we should be careful not to overextend ourselves.

Can we just vote?

Or we could table this discussion until June.

All in favor of tabling the vote?

- Aye. - Tabling does not require a vote.

It only needs to be seconded.

- What is this, parliament? - Is this meeting over yet?

- No, it's not. - Don, I give you my proxy. I have things to do.

We can do that?

- Thank God. - Stop it.

- I knew you'd show. - Because I'm pathetic?

If you're so angry, why did you come?

You know I had to.

Come sit with me.

I'm not going to my sister's.

I-- Well, Howard checked me into the hospital this morning.

For what? What's wrong?

It's hard to explain,

but I've been very blue

and... the doctors seem to think

the only thing to do is electroshock.

Shock treatment? You're not crazy.

Look, Peter, I wanted to see you

because it's going to be different after.

It always is.

You've done it before?

Yes.

And it creates this sort of gray cloud.

The last time, I lost months and--

This is wonderful.

You're wonderful.

I don't want to forget and I'm afraid I will.

I told them I was going to my niece's birthday party.

I have to be back by 5:00 so I'll be ready for tomorrow.

What makes you think I would do this?

You are crazy.

Please.

Please give me this.

Oh, God.

Why does everybody want redheads? Anybody can become a redhead.

I mean, even Julia's working.

Working?

She did three days on Dark Shadows

and then they fired her and cut her out.

Shit. I keep telling her how good she was.

This is why you're not working. You won't answer the phone.

Hello?

Hello? I can hear you.