Shameless

No.

No, go away.

I don't have time for this, all right?

I have kids.

Just watch the damn show when you're supposed to, okay?

Amy. Amy!

See? Thanks a lot.

Way to go. Amy!

Military school?

You said that you weren't going back.

Why did we even bother getting engaged?

Marry me before you leave, dumb-ass.

You love me, right? Then what's the point in waiting?

Get off the bus, Carl!

I love you!

Saw you took the "For Rent" sign down.

It's about time I got

something of my own for a change.

He come with the place too?

What should I say when

I talk about you to other people?

Am I your girlfriend?

Are you a homosexual, Ian?

Any of you queers sick of this bullshit

and want to get out of here?

It's on YouTube.

It's already got, like, 1,000 hits.

Seriously?

He's like a prophet.

And he's super hot too.

Like hot gay Jesus.

So big,

and we do it in God's name.

My god's a faggot, a junkie,

a whore!

Is he off his meds?

How the hell would I know?

Everyone up!

I need sheets.

I need lots and lots of sheets.

Debbie!

Well, what would the surgery cost?

It'll run you at least $50,000.

I was hoping there was something I could do to help.

We don't have enough fathers

- on our PTA. - Sign me up.

Pimp my ass.

Now tell me how much you made last year.

Two grand, maybe,

and I don't pay taxes.

Ah!

Oh, you got a niece?

My sister's kid. Xan.

Any sign of Xan's mom?

I'm giving my shit-bag half sister two more days.

Hey, why don't you come stay with me for a couple days?

- That'd be cool. - Cool.

Those rich, white, liberal parents at your school,

we gotta take advantage of that.

They'll be gone. We know the code.

You got the code, right?

Fuck!

You gonna get that?

No.

Morning.

- You're up early. - Yeah.

What you doing?

Paint touch-ups for the appraiser.

Want this place to look great

so he says it's worth a bazillion dollars

and I get a big fat loan for Ian's bail.

Well, keep wearing that outfit,

and you'll get anything that you want.

You think that's, uh...

Is that ketchup or blood?

That could be either.

Doesn't matter now.

We still going to Costco later?

Yeah. Text me when you're ready.

Okay. Have a good day at work, dear.

Shit.

Graveyarders, shift's over!

Day crew, let's go!

Night crew, paychecks!

Thanks, Jacob.

Don't spend it all in one place, Jugs.

- Breakfast? - Ooh, let's do it.

I'm starving.

- Yeah? - No, no.

Okay.

Okay. Okay, now.

Whew.

See you later, Greta's vagina.

Thanks for letting me be of service to you.

You're a funny guy.

Stay as long as you want.

I gotta get in the shower.

Oh, I got you a great shirt.

Hey, doll, I gotta get going.

Okay.

Text you the next time Hal's out of town.

You hear that, Hal? You're a lucky guy.

Taught her a few new tricks. Hope you like 'em.

You're welcome.

- I've got you! - I've got you!

- I've got you! - Got you!

- I've got you! - Got you!

- I got you! - I've got you!

Got you!

I've got you!

You don't have him, Huntington.

I just need a better grip, sir!

Are you trying to screw me out of becoming

cadet lieutenant next year, maggot?

No, sir.

Well, it sure as shit looks like it.

Drop that cadet, pissant.

Jesus. Not literally.

Sorry, sir. Sorry, Raul.

I have my year-end review with the general this afternoon.

Do you know what that might be about, puke-head?

No, sir. Y-yes, sir. Uh, me, sir?

I've had the entire school year

to get you plebes into fighting shape,

and yet one big, fat turd who can't keep up.

I'll do better, sir!

A chain is only as strong as its weakest link,

and you are my weakest link!

Get out of my face!

Cadets... and Dave...

dismissed!

Corporal Gallagher is on the move!

Left! Left! Left, right, left!

Here we go again!

Hi, Carl!

I see you in there!

Walking down the avenue!

Only two more days until the end of school!

Mrs. Gallagher is waiting for you!

- Left! Left! - I'm doing my Kegels.

- Left, right, left! - I love you!

There are three units on this level

and three apartments upstairs.

All super-reliable tenants.

I put a new roof on last year.

Uh, that was broken when I bought the place.

I've been looking for a matching piece.

That won't affect the price, will it?

Just gotta take pictures of what I see.

You must be so busy,

everyone trying to refinance

before the rates go up any more.

Been doing ten of these a day.

Wow, that's a lot.

Yeah. Sure.

And you live around here, in the city?

Uh, Schaumburg, actually.

Oh.

It is so nice out there.

Have you been?

Uh, couple times.

What's the real estate like out in, uh, Schaumburg?

Nothing like what's happening down here.

You grow up there?

Yeah, yeah. Born and raised.

Interesting.

It... It's not.

My husband and I, we like it, though.

So what do you think this place is worth?

$550? $600 at least, right?

Gotta do the comps.