The 84th Annual Academy Awards

Live, from the Hollywood and highland center, we honor the highest

achievements in filmmaking, on the 84th annual Academy awards.

Ladies and gentlemen, Morgan Freeman.

Since the very first Oscar ceremony in 1929, the movies have changed.

But there is one constant that is true for all generations.

Whether we are seeing a film that is live action or animated,

black and white or in color, with sound or silent, all of us

are mesmerized by the magic of the movies.

This magnificent event enables us to celebrate the present and

look back at its glorious past.

This is the 84th annual Academy awards.

!!!Greetings!!! Subtitle edited By iMR aka ShIbAsIs

Please wake up.

We're all ready for you to come home.

Where you belong.

Is this the villa?

George, let's make pasta, and maybe it'll rain.

Say I'm Batman.

It'll help me.

Okay.

It's okay.

You have to do it, Billy.

The Academy has you, the youngest hippest writers in town.

Clams, you're giving me clams.

This is the best we got?

We're trying to solve the problem here, Billy.

The problem is, I don't have enough jokes.

Jonah, do I have enough jokes?

You do not.

Oh.

Guy, it's midnight.

Hey, you come over here.

Me?

Come here.

Come here.

Justin Bieber.

Yeah, man, what's up?

What are you doing here.

I'm here to get you the 18 to 24 demographic.

Great, thanks.

So how long do you want me to sit here for?

A couple of seconds I think will do it.

All right.

?

perfect.

Cool.

So where do you go now.

Hang out with Hemmingway and Fitzgerald.

Then we're going to kill Hitler.

You want to come?

More than you.

Billy his *

- Sinatra or * - stop it! This guy... - Have fun storming the furor.

All right.

Good luck, pop.

Yeah, okay.

Mm-mm.

It's like there's a little piece of you in every bite.

I'm glad you like it.

What's in it.

That good vanilla from Mexico and something else real special.

Minny, you work for me.

You got to tell me.

It's your duty, isn't it?

Oh.

Don't eat the pie.

Get away from me.

Sorry.

Ew.

Look away.

Okay.

I got to see the films.

Are you sure this is a scorsese movie?

Nobody's gotten whacked yet.

Leave the towels by the door.

I had a "do not disturb" on.

Wow!

This 3d is amazing.

It's like Tom Cruise is in the room with me.

Is this the 141st room.

No, this is 140.

My films.

Aaagh!

You've been nominated.

Get out of the way.

Look out.

I gotta capture this.

You're going to like the way I look.

I guarantee it.

?

why can't you two get along.

This is where your dreams come from.

How dare you show your face to me.

Hit me.

Hit me, hit me.

Come on, come on.

Would you say something?

Should I do this?

Now it's time to go to work.

Cut.

Show time.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Billy Crystal.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, that was extremely lo loud & incredibly close. Thank you so much.

"Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close," that's how my relatives

are watching the show.

This is -- this is my ninth time hosting the Oscars.

So tonight just call me "War Horse."

We're here at the beautiful chapter 11 theater.

To celebrate a Hollywood tradition that not only creates

memories for the ages but breeds resentments that last a lifetime.

We are part of a great industry, a great industry.

Movies have been able to provide entertainment with we need a

place to get away from it.

Like the great speech James Earl Jones made in "field of dreams", hello sir.

That great speech when he talked about baseball, he said in that movie that

baseball has always been there during good times and hard times

and just as people turn to baseball, the movies have always been there for us.

They're the place to go to laugh, to cry, to question, to text.

So tonight enjoy yourself because nothing can take the sting out of the world's

economic problems like watching millionaires present each other

with golden statues.

?

? don't ask him "The Artist"

wins he'll say merci beaucoup ?

the horse is the horse because is horse * and now the Oscar is the famous spin Mr. Joey ?

? Brad is the manager caught in a riddle, Johnny used to have much

more to his middle ?

? it's great that you shed weight but kid if you lose tonight I think

you should know there's seven cupcakes after the show ?

? when scorsese and no one is in the splints that "Hugo."

No pesci, no bombs, no killing, no mob it's just "Hugo" ?

? but it's true I prefer the sequel you don't be so cocky

crash their heads shoot Ben Kingsley in bed because you're Marty ?

? she's comatose so it makes it hard to tell her you're mad your film

"the ides of march" and "The Descendants" but nominations have to prove ?

? "The Descendants" is a cinema delight and if they want to

welcome you maybe Oscar will be laying George tonight ?

? I love "midnight in Paris"

that rich romantic style ?

? barely slept oh the crap that they slept yes the South gave

birth to "The Help" ?

? the girl was white and they wrote about it now they had a

choice they had a choice ?

? they chose to shout it and now "The Help" and the rest are all

Hollywood's best ?

? it's a party for one for the rest it's the birth of the blue

that's nice that's nice... ?

thank you so much.

We'll have a great show.

Here to present our first award, two-time Oscar winner, mister Tom Hanks.

?

every Oscar show is special.

No more than tonight as each of you here may be comparing where you are sitting

relative to celebrity seat-filler Carl Swaybeau.

Carl, give us a wave.

Where are you?

There you are, my man.

Carl, Carl has been seat filling at the Oscars for

59 years now starting back, his first night in a cheap rental

tux was when "the greatest show on earth" won best picture at the pantages.

Carl is currently filling the seat of the beautiful Jennifer Lopez,

who is backstage right now, preping for her time as a presenter,

she'll be back in her seat soon and Carl, well, he'll be moving

around the house.

It's a big night for you, Carl.

Congratulations.

Okay.

He's not really a seat filler.

He's just a guy but nonetheless.

Now, let's give away a couple of Academy awards.

The filmmaker makes the film but these first two categories make

the films look the way they do.

First up, here are the nominees for achievement in cinematography.

"The Artist" -- Guillaume Schiffman "The Girl With The Dragon

tattoo" -- Jeff Cronenweth "Hugo" -- Robert Richardson "the Tree Of Life" --

Emmanuel Lubezki "war horse" -- Janusz Kaminski.

And the Oscar goes to --

"Hugo," Robert Richardson.

This is the third Academy award and seventh nomination for

Robert Richardson.

He took home his first two

Oscars for "jfk" and "the aviator."

I can't believe somebody put cinematography up first.

That can only go up from this point.

I want to thank you all.

Marty, you're a genius, as usual and Graham, sticking in there all the way.

I'd love to thank Ian Chris, Gregor, Conshonn Maya, to all

the past, future and present filmmakers, this is for you.

Here are the nominees for achievement in art direction.

"The Artist" -- production design by Laurence Bennett and set

decoration by Robert gould.

"Harry Potter and the deathly hallows part 2," production

design by Stuart Craig and set decoration by Stephenie McMillan.

"Hugo," production design by Dante Ferretti and set decoration by