Albert Nobbs

- Evening, Mr. Nobbs. - Miss Dawes.

- Good evening, Albert. - Mrs. Baker, ma'am.

All right, girls,

no finger marks on the knife blades, please.

What?

Well, Helen Dawes, what are you grinning about?

Nothing, Mrs. Baker. Sorry, Mrs. Baker.

Good evening, Mr. And Mrs. Moore. Your table awaits.

Thank you.

What sweet roses, Nobbs. You always remember.

Madam.

- Milady. - Good evening, Mrs. Baker.

Such a kind little man.

- Who? - Nobbs.

Oh, right.

- You look gorgeous. - Thank you.

What do you say, the lamb or the beef?

Do you think we'll be able to tell the difference?

Good evening.

Dr. Holloran.

Follow me.

There now.

Thank you.

Have the lamb, Dr. Holloran. It will melt in your mouth.

The lamb it shall be, Duchess.

Sean, Dr. Holloran will take the lamb.

Yes, ma'am.

- Will you have the soup? - I won't, thank you.

Sean.

- There's a stain on your tie. - Ma'am?

Have a care, Sean.

Last week it was the jacket, tonight the tie.

- Yes, ma'am, I'm sorry. - Remember, there are hundreds,

hundreds of young men walking the streets of Dublin

looking for work.

Young men, Sean.

Good man, Nobbs.

- Oh! Monsieur et Madame! - Madame.

Toute suite, monsieur. Patrick.

- My lordship. - Mrs. Baker.

Terribly sorry. I know. We're late,

but could you forgive us just this once?

- We're simply famished. - Of course.

Aubrey insisted we walk all the way from Ballsbridge.

Well, milady, there's nothing like a brisk walk

for giving a body an appetite.

Come along now, your table is set and waiting.

Tell me, how is your mother, dear Lady Yarrell?

Tip-top, Mrs. B, tip-top.

I certainly hope she will come and visit us soon.

She'd be delighted, I'm sure.

So sorry, dear lady.

No bother at all, Mr. Smythe-Willard.

To be sure.

My friends, we do apologize.

Now, drinks.

Albert.

Bunny, you're a featherbrain.

No, he's not, he's brilliant.

Do your Clara Westfield.

Dudley, Dudley, call the brigade!

My hair's on fire! My hair's on fire!

A long old day, Mr. Nobbs.

Well...

I wouldn't say no to a nightcap now, sure I wouldn't.

Only I haven't a drop left, meself.

Good night, Mr. Casey.

Mr. Nobbs.

Half a crown from Mrs. Moore,

sixpence from the doctor,

tuppence...

Monsieur Pigot.

Thruppence, Mrs. Cavendish, when I brought her stationery.

Another thruppence from what's-his-name, the Viscount's friend.

Tenner from the Viscount and another from his missus.

Two-and-six, and six and two is eight, and three is eleven,

three is one-and-two, six is one-and-eight,

six is two-and-two, that's...

four shillings, eight pence.

Ah, Mr. Gilligan, Madam, so good to have had you with us again.

I hope your stay was satisfactory?

Yes. Perfectly fine. Thank you.

- For God's sake, man! - I'm sorry, sir!

Look what you've done. You've ruined my boots, defaced my luggage.

I've never seen such blatant incompetence.

Are you all right, my dear?

Does that look all right to you?

Where's the manager? Where's that fool Sweeney?

I'm very sorry, sir.

Yes, yes, everyone's sorry! It's outrageous ineptitude.

Clean up the mess you've made of my boots.

I won't patronize this establishment again

and I will urge my friends and acquaintances to do the same,

if you keep this man in your employ.

Yes, Mr. Gilligan, sir.

- Dismiss him immediately. - Sir, I was...

- Now! - Yes, sir.

Fine.

Give us the marmalade there, Mr. Donaghue.

- It's the marmalade. - The marmalade, Patrick.

Will you pass the marmalade to Mr. Casey?

Always on Tuesdays, if I recall correctly.

Thank you, Mr. Nobbs.

- God, but isn't he a smasher? - Who?

What's-his-name, the Viscount.

Not to mention rich, young and handsome,

with money and land.

That's the kind of man I want.

I'll wear my new blouse tonight and give him an eyeful.

Would you care for a tasty breast of duck, my lord?

Pink and succulent,

just the way you like it.

That's right, lower yourself.

The likes of him will only take advantage of a girl

and then leave her high and dry.

High, maybe, but I wouldn't say dry.

Now, girls, stop this tittle-tattling

and just get on with your breakfast, please.

It's no trouble at all, mind you.

- Morning, all. - Good morning.

Somebody didn't bring me my wake-up cuppa.

Oh.

I'll have to lodge a complaint with Mrs. Baker.

Morning, Nobbs.

Doctor.

Did you know we have a lord and lady staying?

Is that so?

What do you think, any chance?

I'm sorry, there's nothing here.

I was two years in the Ardlane.

- Maybe you should have stayed there. - Well, is there any?

- Good morning, Nobbs. - Hello, Nobbs.

Mistress Milly. Master George.

Bunny, breakfast.

Shall we wake the girls?

That hat's very important. Be careful with that.

Katie, get those sheets nice and clean, good girl.

Hey, are you the fella for the boiler for us?

I'm a boiler man.

Well, you certainly took your sweet time getting here.

Mrs. Baker's waiting inside. Come on inside. Follow me.

Mrs. Baker, ma'am.

Albert, Mr. Hubert Page is working in the morning

and he's come over and asked us for a bed

so I've told him he can muddle in with you for one night.

With... With me, ma'am?

Yes, Mr. Nobbs. With you.

- But... - What?

What are you trying to say?

My bed is full of lumps.

Full of lumps?

Your bed was re-picked and buttoned just six months ago.

What are you talking about?

So it was, ma'am, so it was.

But you see, I'm a very light sleeper,

and me being sleepless might keep Mr. Page awake.

I'm thinking he might be better off on the sofa in the coffee room.

On the sofa in a coffee room?

I don't wish to be an inconvenience. It's a fine night.

I'll keep meself warm with a sharp walk.

You'll do nothing of the kind, Mr. Page.

Of course, Mrs. Baker.

If Mr. Page is pleased to share my bed,

he's welcome, I'm sure.

I should think so, indeed.

Right. That's settled then.

Mrs. Baker, ma'am, the man about the boiler has just arrived.

Have you a letter from Holmans?

Holmans?

The plumbers? No.

I thought you said he was from Holmans?

Yes, I... Didn't they give you...

No, indeed. I said nothing about Holmans.

- I thought you said they gave you... - I said I know about boilers.

And do you... know about boilers?

I do, ma'am.

I'm an apprentice boiler man.

Well.

Since you're here, you might as well come

and have a look at the blessed thing.

Thank you, Polly.

Thanks, ma'am.

There, now. It's the bane of our lives.

I'm depending on you to put some manners on it.

We've our costume ball tomorrow

and it's of the utmost importance that it's in full working order.

I'll do me best, ma'am.

Right then.

Good night, Mr. Mackins.

Dang.

Jesus.

You're a woman.

You won't tell on me, will you, Mr. Page?

- I'm on my knees. - Stop that! Get up!

I beg you.

You won't tell on me, Mr. Page.

Stop a poor woman from making a living.

It would be the end of me!

I don't want to finish up in the poorhouse!

- Stop blubbering. - No, no, no!