Moving On

I'm gonna miss you.

I wish I didn't have to go.

I love you so much.

Now, you're gonna take your pills, sweetheart, huh?

All right, don't just chew 'em up,

and spit 'em out.

I can't believe you're traveling, Mom.

I know how much you hate to fly.

Yeah, I, I do, but some things are important.

Thank you for letting me leave him with you.

Of course. He's a cutie.

Hey, kids, come say hi to Grandma!

I'm on the phone!

So, um, the yellow pills are twice a day,

-and the blue ones once. -I know.

Mom, you gave me the list, remember?

Yeah, I know, but.

And these are his toys.

And he sleeps with Mr. Moose.

Hey, if you guys don't come in here right now,

I'm gonna flush your phones down the toilet!

I don't wanna see them.

Or, I mean, I, I'm,

I don't wanna disturb them.

I know they're busy.

And hey, don't you yell so much.

I don't want you to stress him out.

- Mom. -He's already, he's freaked.

I don't think he's stressed. He's fine.

Hi, Grandma.

Oh, hi, Tommy.

So, who died?

Oh, an old, old friend.

Hey, maybe you'll play with Dashel sometime.

Maybe.

OK, um...

Oh.

If anything should happen, know that I love you, Dashel.

Yeah, Mommy loves you and you're gonna be taken care of.

OK, Mom, stop being so dramatic.

OK, flying is very safe.

You'll be back before you know it.

Nothing is gonna happen.

[mourners murmuring indistinctly]

Claire.

Allie.

So glad you came.

Thanks for letting me know.

Of course.

Mom really missed you.

She really loved you.

-I loved her. -

Stop it. I can see you.

Three now.

I have three. Can you believe it? Stop it.

Dad will be really glad you came.

It'll mean a lot to him.

Yes.

She was a wonderful woman.

Wonderful.

I'm wearing high heels in honor of Joyce.

-Oh. -She had such great legs

and she always loved to show them off.

She did. She had the best legs.

Claire! Oh, you made it.

Oh, that would mean so much to her.

This is Claire, one of Joyce's oldest friends.

They were at college together.

Claire lives in Ohio now.

We're so sorry for your loss.

Oh, bless you, darling.

Call us and come over to dinner, Howard.

Thank you, I will.

We love you.

-Oh, Claire. -Howard. I'm gonna kill you.

Now that she's gone, now that it can't hurt her,

I'm gonna kill you...

this weekend.

I'm gonna do it this weekend.

Howard.

-Oh, dear Howard. - Oh, hi, hi, hi.

-Oh, you dear man. -Yeah.

I'm so, so sorry.

You think you'd get used to it,

used to the idea of loss.

When you see it this far over the horizon,

it's like that shot in Lawrence of Arabia.

You know, the little speck that gets closer and closer.

I learned a lot.

I changed a lot.

I learned patience, humility.

-I learned to enjoy lattes. -

Some of you know that Joyce

just loved her afternoon lattes,

and she got me addicted to them, as well.

Sometimes I think I can still hear her say,

"Howie, go to the cafe

and get some lattes, will ya?"

I met Joyce in New York.

We were married seven months after we met,

and I have no regrets.

None.

Darling, I just want you to know

from the bottom of my heart--

Is this the wrong entrance?

It said chapel on the door.

-Oh. -Howard.

Did I interrupt your eulogy?

God, I'm sorry.

That's all right, Evelyn. It's all right.

Please. Everyone, this is Evelyn.

Evelyn was Joyce's college roommate, believe it or not.

Why wouldn't they believe it?

Well, it's just an expression.

I was in the back using the restroom.

-It's like a maze. -Understood.

-A labyrinth. -Yeah.

Nice photo. A bit sanitized, maybe.

-What? -Well, she looks pleasant,

but Joyce was never just pleasant.

She was always sparkly.

Sparkly?

Evelyn, would you mind taking a seat?

Would you mind, please?

I'm in the middle of my eulogy to my wife.

My wife of 51 years has just died!

I understand.

My friend has died, my friend of 60 years.

How about that?

-Isn't that something? -

Ah, well, go ahead.

You were saying something about no regrets,

darling Joyce, bottom of my heart.

Yes.

I was about to say that

I admired her courage

in fighting this awful disease.

Evelyn.

Evie.

It's, it's me. It's Claire.

Hi, Claire. I know it's you.

I haven't lost my marbles yet.

Or my eyesight.

Get in. Let me give you a ride.

Do you have a driver's license?

I do.

I took the test two months ago.

And you passed?

Did you bribe the instructor?

I didn't have to. I'm an excellent driver!

I trust the bus more.

Oh, get in. I need to talk to you.

About what?

What do you need to talk about?

-I-- -

- Come on, move it! -God, hold your horses!

What kind of person honks a horn in a graveyard?

-Jeez. -Pass! There's room! Go!

-You jerk. - Stupid!

Get in, Evie. I, I need to talk to you.

I told him.

You told him what?

I told him I was gonna kill him this weekend.

I'm gonna kill the bastard.

I could chat a little bit.

- -You're not gonna kill anyone.

I am.

Oh, you've always had big ideas,

-but very little follow through. -Not true.

Oh, what about the time you were gonna go out

in the middle of the night and paint a vagina

on that fraternity house?

I don't remember that.

You talked about it for weeks.

You were gonna do it for homecoming.

No kidding. What happened?

Nothing. Nothing happened.

You never did it.

And what about the time you were gonna become

a lounge singer?

Or drive down to Peru?

There's still time.

Ah.

Are you still playing?

Of course I'm still playing.

Without my cello, I'd be lost.

Completely lost.

-Well, good for you. -Mmm.

I'm not with the orchestra anymore.

I'm with a couple of ensembles.

One is devoted totally to modern composers,

and the other is all Bach.

Do you still have that cute, little house?

Mmm-hmm.

Oh, that's wonderful, wonderful.

So I was wondering if, if you could help me.

What? Murder him?

There's a little thing called jail.

Nice place to visit, but you wouldn't wanna live there.

And let's take a moment to remember our beautiful,