Pleasantville

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Be around him lo...

Ever since Ameri...

We'd like to thank the fo...

Our cash bail will be out by...

- And, you know... - Bobo.

Behind the mighty.

Said to my wife, "Berni..."

- Sorry, boy. - They hurt...

went through the crack.

- This ham... - Our 12th edition...

...of the Psychic Friends Network.

Shea Stad...

You're watching TV Time!

The only network playing lots of old stuff in nothing but black and white.

Why, it's fun for the whole family.

TV Time! Remember, you're soaking in it.

This Friday on TV Time!

Take the phone off the hook and the plastic off the couch.

That's right, it's the Pleasantville marathon.

Twenty-four hours chocked full of pure family values.

Featuring the warm greeting.

Honey, I'm home.

- Proper nutrition. - Do you want some more cookies?

And, of course, safe sex.

Why, it's a scrapbook of all your favorite Pleasantville memories.

There's "Trouble at the Barbershop"...

..."Fireman for a Day"...

..."The Big Game"...

...and who could forget "Bud Gets a Job"?

So join all your favorites: Mary Sue, Bud, George and Betty...

...and, oh, yes, Mr. Johnson at the soda shop.

There's more. If you put your thinking caps on...

...you could win $1000 in our Pleasantville trivia contest...

...plus a free trip to the Pleasantville of your choice.

Flash back to kinder, gentler times...

...on the Pleasantville marathon, this Friday, only on TV Time!

Hi.

I mean, hi.

Look, you probably don't think I should be asking you this.

I mean, not knowing you well and all.

I mean, you know, I know you. Everybody knows you.

I just don't know you technically.

Uh...

Anyhow, I don't know what you're doing this weekend...

...but my mom's leaving town...

...and she's letting me borrow the car, so, you know...

Okey-dokey, so just give me a call.

Let me know.

Bye.

For those of you going to college next year...

...the chance of finding a good job...

...will actually decrease by the time you graduate.

The available number of entry-level jobs...

...will drop 31 percent over the next four years.

Median income for those jobs will go down as well.

Obviously, my friends, it's a competitive world...

...and good grades are your only ticket through.

In fact, by the year 2000...

- the chance of contracting HIV from a non-monogamous lifestyle...

...will climb to one in 150.

The odds of dying in an auto accident are only one in 2500.

This marks a drastic increase...

- from 14 years ago, when ozone depletion was at just 10 percent of its current level.

By the time you are 30 years old...

...average global temperature will have risen two and a half degrees...

...causing such catastrophic consequences...

...as typhoons, floods, widespread drought, and famine.

Okay, who can tell me what famine is?

Honey, I'm home.

Hello, darling. How was your day?

Oh, swell. You know, Mr. Connell says if things keep going the way they are...

...I might be seeing that promotion sooner than I thought.

Oh, darling, that's wonderful.

I always knew you could do it.

Hey, pumpkin, what's that smell? Is that your meat loaf?

"It might be."

It might be.

Oh, pumpkin, you sure know the way to this man's heart.

No, no. That was not the deal.

No, you have custody first weekend of every month.

This is the first weekend.

No. I'm not gonna bail you out.

I'm going out of town this weekend.

La Costa.

Barry, if I wanna have a mud bath with my new boyfriend, that's my business, isn't it?

- Hey, where are those kids? - Excuse me?

- "Right behind you, Father." - Right behind you.

Right behind you, Father.

Mother, Father, Bud has a little surprise for you.

What's that, Bud?

First place in the science fair.

There were lots of swell projects.

I guess mine was just the swellest.

Darling, that's wonderful, except there's no such word as "swellest."

Well, gee whiz, Mom, it wasn't the English fair.

No, that's not the point.

The point is, you're supposed to see them.

Fine, fine, fine. See them another time.

"What's a mother to do?"

What's a mother to do?

Okay, in the very first Pleasantville episode...

...whose window did Bud break when he was playing with his father's golf clubs?

Easy. Mr. Jenkins.

What job did Mr. Jenkins have?

Salesman.

What did Bud and Mary Sue name the cat they found in the gutter?

Scout?

Marmalade.

All right, all right.

Here's one.

Why did their parents come home early from their weekend at the lake?

Because Bud didn't answer the phone, and they were worried about him.

Man, you're unbelievable.

You'll win this thing for sure. When is it on?

Marathon starts at 6:30. Contest is tomorrow at noon.

Thousand bucks, huh? And it's on all night?

Well, of course it is, Howard. That's why they call it a marathon.

Oh, my God, he is, like, so pathetic.

I can't believe you're, like, related to him.

Only on my parents' side.

Yeah, but you guys are twins and stuff.

You must be from the cool side of the uterus.

Oh, my God, here they come.

Oh, my God. Don't do anything. Just don't do anything.

What?

- Hey. - Hey.

- Saw you at the mall yesterday. - Yeah, I saw you too.

So you gonna watch the concert on MTV tonight?

Yeah. You?

Yeah.

My mom's gonna be out of town.

- Cool. - Cool.

It was so amazing, Daph.

I was like, "My mom's gonna go out of town."

And he was like, "Well, maybe we could..."

And I was like, "Yeah, sure." And he was like, "Cool."

I know. He's so smart.

I don't know. I'm thinking about that red thing I got at the mall.

It's not slutty.

It's fun.

Well, hello, he's not coming over to study.

Yeah, I know.

Well, sometimes I'm jealous of you too.

He's not homeless, Howard. They just don't say where he lives.

Well, it's a silly question.

Because nobody's homeless in Pleasantville.

Because that's just not what it's like.

Look, Howard, it's almost 6:30. I gotta go.

- What are you doing? - What are you doing?

Cut it out, David. Mark Davis is gonna be here in minutes.

Great. The Pleasantville marathon starts at 6:30.

I don't believe this. He's gonna be here.

Great. You can watch it upstairs.

Upstairs? Upstairs?

It doesn't have any stereo.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

David, stop stressing. You can just, like, turn it on normally.

No, I can't. It's a new TV, Jen.

It doesn't work without a remote.

Oh, my God, he's here.

TV repair.

TV repair?

- Yeah. TV busted? - Yeah.

Well, here I am.

Holy cow, look at that.

Had a little disaster, didn't you, fella?

Well, yeah, sort of.

Well, we'll get you fixed up in no time.

I know how I'd feel if mine went out.

Almost like losing a friend.

You know, we didn't call any TV repair.

That makes it a lucky day for both of us, doesn't it?

Do you think you could do this soon?

- It's almost 6:30. - What's the hurry?

Pleasantville marathon starts at 6:30.

Pleasantville? Gosh, I love that show. Watched it for years.

That's not the reason. I've got a date at 6:30.

Who did Muffin take to the masquerade ball...

...when her date came down with the measles?

- Her father. - That's right.

- And how'd she dress him? - As Prince Charming.

Nice. Remember the one...

...where Bud lost his cousin when he was supposed to be watching him?

- Yeah. - What department store did they go to?

- Mclntyre's. - McGinty's.

No. Mclntyre's. Remember?

For the very best in men's attire

Head right down to Mclntyre's

That's right.

Listen...

...why don't you take this remote instead?

It's got a little more oomph in it.

- Oomph? - Sure. Big beautiful set like that?

You want something that'll put you right in the show.

It's great. We'll take it.

Thank you.

Well, I better get going.