Un clair de Lune à Maubeuge

- Paul Prunier? - That's me.

Really?

Come on, come here.

This is Paul Prunier, born on 8 July 1931.

Address: Rue Lepic 33. Particulars?

First prize at the Paris Conservatory in 1953.

Works: three symphonies, two concertos, twelve sonatas...

- A fugue. - In B-flat minor.

Yes, but nobody said it was on TV.

- And what do you suggest? - A piano sonata?

Good, I'm listening.

Hello, is that you, darling?

Six wigs?

Of course, hard to choose.

Yes, I'll send a cheque.

Go ahead, Mr Prunier.

Here, to the beat of Uncle Charlie, discovered by cousin Ronald: our little talents.

Don't panic, Mr Prunier. Go on.

- That's excellent. - I find it excellent too.

- It's scandalous! - So you don't like music or dance?

- You call that music? - Uncle, your visitor seems angry.

Never mind, you're insulting the conservatory.

- What are you going to call them? - The girls from the 14th.

- The 14th sounds poor. - The 16th?

- Ah, the 16th. - Sounds chic.

- Yes, yes. - The Chicks is good.

The Chicks, the Chicks... Monkeys, yes. The Whistikis.

Not bad, The Whistikis. Sounds good.

Sounds like a wild, untouched forest. Uncle has good ideas.

Yes, but Uncle, the point is whether it will be the Whistikis' twist or the Whistikis of twists.

Yes, all right, but I already said it.

So the French audience can understand and appreciate

what we give them, we have to speak in English, American.

- So: twist, jazz, trio. - Great.

Sold.

How much longer? Two minutes. So, Fernand, in two minutes at 45 Boulevard Mortier.

- And nobody wants to go to 33 Rue Lepic? - Paul.

- Paul. - Virginie.

- Janine, this is Paul. - So it worked?

Paul?

Huh? What?

Is there nobody at 45 Boulevard Mortier? Of course not.

Why did you make me come then?

Because it's not 45 Boulevard Berthier, but 45 Boulevard Mortier.

- Ah, that changes everything. - Of course.

- Paul, Paul, so Super Disco. - Super Disco, hello?

- Hello, hello, Paul? - Yes, hello, hello.

- How, hello? - Hello, yes, Super Disco, hello.

So that's over.

Super Disco down the drain? So it failed.

- What do you want? Chopin is out of fashion. - But this isn't Chopin. It is.

No, but it's piano. Hello? Yes, sir.

No taxi needed anymore? Good, sir. Hello?

Hello? 323? Someone rang at 45 Boulevard Mortier.

- So that changes everything. - Yes, of course.

Paul, you'll manage, I'm sure. You'll become a great musician.

A taxi driver, yes.

- But yes, really. - We'll see.

I believe in you.

Don't worry, Toto. Today is the party.

- Hello, children. - We won.

We can do anything.

Yes, but what?

- Where are you going? - Don't worry, Toto.

We'll say we're thinking.

We can do anything today.

- Shall we go to the party? - On the rocking horses, yes.

Oh, the horses. Are we going to the races? I've never been there.

Bill and Jerry always go there.

- And they never want to take me. - Good idea.

We'll bet on the fourth.

- I've got a tip. - Who?

I read it in the paper this morning.

- Miosotis. - Miosotis? Are you crazy?

With massaging hooves, yes.

In the stables they say he's 2 seconds.

So, are we going? Yes or no?

Come on, Toto. We're winning.

- Do you know this? - Yes, Toto, we know it.

That's us. We recorded it at Super Disco.

And in fifteen days we'll be all over Paris.

Are you proud to be part of an artists' ballet?

Artists.

All-out sport. Come on.

And why isn't Toto coming with us?

- Because I'm working. - Oh, you can come too.

We bring luck.

Come on, Toto, I'll hold your taxi until the end of the race and pay your entrance.

- Come on. - So that changes everything.

Good.

- Virginie. - Yes?

I'm going to the races in Enghien with clients.

- What do your clients look like? - Oh, they're twist singers.

- There's a girl. I heard her. - Oh, Virginie, please.

Wait a minute. Fernand told me this morning about a horse.

Roubaix? No, that's not it. Don't worry.

I don't want to disappoint you, but...

Fernand said he's betting on a horse called...

- Tourcoing. - How? What are you saying? Tourcoing?

- That's a tip. - Fernand sees it winning.

Big as the sun.

1 meter 87.

The horses may go onto the field.

And you, Mr. Joton, what are you betting on in the race?

Oh, I know nothing about it. But someone gave me a tip. Uh... Tourcoing.

That cannot win. It's only a second-class race.

Listen: "darling, sweetheart, be careful, Maubeuge, my sister..."

Maubeuge. That must be what she meant.

It's number 13. Well then. No performances, no records.

You don't know how to win, your Maubeuge is worthless.

Yet Virginie said that to me.

Ah, what do I care? I've nothing to lose.

- I'm putting it on. - Go on, then.

- All set, Toto, happy? - Have you bet on Maubeuge?

- Yes, number 13. - Good.

- I can see Maubeuge shining. - Don't be silly, a sun at 60 to 1?

- That isn't going to work. - But you had to bet, darling.

That's for sure. And 60 to 1 is a nice bonus.

Who's going to win? Mr. Ricard gives himself away.

They're coming, in the lead: Martin Lenneux...

My darling is making a mistake. They're going to leave her behind.

Come on! Come on!

My sister isn't keeping the pace. She's collapsing before the end!

Yes, I've won! I've won! I've won!

60 to 1, so Toto, you're really lucky, huh?

Hey, did you see her "full moon"?

What does that mean, 60 to 1?

It means you get sixty times your stake back.

- Old money, but it isn't bad. - Oh, great!

I'm going to call Virginie. Come on, I'm inviting you all to dinner.

Us too!

I come in with my 500 bucks, and the guy says...

- How do you want it? Win, place or show? - I'll take whatever you want.

Then he said: listen, kid, you have to choose.

But what are you actually betting on?

Maubeuge, number 13, are you crazy? Have you seen the odds?

So I thought: "Fernand, it doesn't matter."

"You're going to lose your 500 bucks anyway." So open your wallet, darling. Voilà.

Funny thing, that. You can probably make some fun jokes with it.

You bought that through your work.

With a good job, you don't have to be bored.

So, was it 45 boulevard Mortier?

- Berthier. - No, Mortier.

- Berthier. - Come on, make up your mind.

You have to put up with them. They don't know what they're saying.

- What's wrong? - Nothing, darling.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm here.

- But you too? - Then we won't be able to see anything anymore.

Did you see that? Madam. She's coming to smoke a cigarette.

Don't worry. Tomorrow we'll make it up to her. I'll send her to the Panthéon.

- Why don't you dance that? - Why do they call you Toto?

I don't know.

Because I call everyone Toto. It's easier.

- Bernard, are you going to dance? - No, I don't dance.

Certainly not this. Oh, look. It isn't worth a thing.

- No, but it's... - I do dance, but a tango.

There's feeling in that at least. Come on, you'll see. Come with me.

Évile! Put on a tango for the gentleman.

A tango? Why not the march of the lancers?

- Oh, Paul, will you play us a tango? - There's a piano in the room.

- Come with me. - Too much.

- Come on, come on. - No.

Yes.

Come and watch, ladies and gentlemen. Come closer.

The show is about to begin. The sensational number from Piano-taxi.

- Performed by the virtuoso behind the wheel. - You're taking us for fools, mate.

But he can do anything, Toto.

He won first prize at the Paris Conservatory, sir.

- Bravo, Toto. You play like the sun. - Perfect as the sun.

I saw all the deserts.

That's where I sweated the most.

I sailed over seas.

But I was bored.

The northern lights.

That made me cold.

Actually quite normal.

Because my fire burns.

No, no and no.

And I say no. No, no, no, no.

Yes, I say no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

All that is worthless.

A moonbeam in Maubeuge.

All that is worthless.

The soft sun of Tourcoing.

Please.

All that is worthless.

A cruise on the Meuse.

All that is worthless.

Holiday in the Kremlin.

Bicette.

And I say no. Yes, I say no.

Yes, I say no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

All that is worthless.

A moonbeam in Maubeuge.

All that is worthless.

The soft sun of Tourcoing.

All that is worthless.

A cruise on the Meuse.

All that is worthless.

Holiday in the Kremlin.