Paris Holiday

Nice to see you again, Miss. Well, thank you.

McCall's the name.

Ann McCall.

The Philadelphia McCalls.

I'm also a working girl, state department, Paris branch.

If I don't seem very excited, it's because this happens to be my 23rd sailing in 24 months.

The other time I flew.

Pardon.

One more and, uh, a little higher please.

-Miss, uh. -Brown, Miss Brown.

Brown,

Smith,

Jones.

What does it matter?

I am known by many names in many places.

My business on this ship concerns a certain American actor.

I have been order to lure this comedian to a most certain death.

So you see, so you see,

that is why I'm aboard.

Thank you.

Once more Mr. Hunter, show us that famous profile.

Give us your best side now.

They've been trying to find that for years.

I'm Bob Hunter.

Star of stage, screen,

television,

radio.

In fact some fellows have picked me up on their electric razors.

I'm going to Paris on a combination holiday and business trip.

Do you speak French Mr. Hunter?

Just enough to get my face slapped.

What's this rumor about you and Jane Mansfield?

It's lie, but keep spreading it.

Mr. Hunter, how come you're going all the way to Paris for a script?

I'd go to the south pole if I could find a penguin that could write.

And that's why you're going to Paris?

Yeah, that's why I'm going to Paris.

Battle stations, blonde at three o'clock.

Well, they pass the d'oeuvres early around here don't they?

And you wanted to go to Hawaii, you fool you.

I could have a pretty crazy evening just with this thing.

Oh, uh, pardon me.

Uh, mademoiselle, is this yours?

Vous?

Merci bien monsieur.

Oh, wait a minute, honey.

Sherri, that is.

Oui monsieur?

Voila.

I know that's clean, everybody says it.

You French girl, me American boy.

At least I got the sexes right.

Good neighbor policy?

You know, uh, we make beautiful music together.

No?

Wonder what's French for beautiful music?

But I'm afraid I don't play duets Mr Hunter.

Hey, you're American. You know my name.

Everybody knows your name.

My brother, for instance, he's a great fan of yours.

Yeah?

He's almost seven.

Now if you'll excuse me.

-Passenger list monsieur. -Passenger lists?

A little late, I've already done my shopping.

If this gets out, I'm ruined.

He's French, you know.

Mr. Fernydel understands that you are truly one of America's great comedians.

Why should I argue, maybe he's right.

Mr. Fernydel wants to know how long you've been working on this boat.

Working on the boat?

Are you kidding? I'm a passenger, first class.

It's deductible.

Then why are you wearing makeup?

Makeup? This is just me, my natural charm oozing.

No makeup?

Extraordinary.

And that comes straight from the horse's mouth.

Horse's mouth?

Bye, bye, Bobby.

Miss McCall.

Pardon me.

Merci monsieur.

That's alright, if you ever go to Canada, you can spend it.

Hello Bobby.

Well, well.

It certainly is a small boat isn't it?

How are you?

-How do you do? -Is that Miss or Mrs?

Miss.

Just taking a survey.

What?

He wants to know if you're traveling alone.

Yes, but I'm not going to be stubborn about it.

Mr. Hunter, that's very funny.

Don't laugh, it may start a trend.

Now I can see why you'd appeal to my little brother.

Your brother's got good taste, especially in big sisters.

One of them has me flipping.

Flipping?

Yeah you know, blow your top, snap your lid, pop your gourd.

Flipping.

Now if you'll excuse me.

Oh, don't leave yet.

Ferny and I have a lot to talk about. Maybe you can help us translate?

Where are you going?

Ask him if he knows Serge Vitry.

He wants to know if you're going to see Vitry.

It made every paper from coast to coast. I've got this new play sewed up.

He wants to know if it's a good part.

Good part? It's sensational!

For me, that is.

Tailor made. It's practically in my hip pocket.

Thank you.

American?

Right.

French.

Class.

American.

Goodnight Mr. Hunter. I've enjoyed chatting with you.

Hey, you know, that's the first nice thing you've said about me.

Oh, I didn't wanna interrupt you. You've been saying so many nice things about yourself.

Oh and brains too, not that you need any added accessories.

I'll settle for the factory job.

This your first trip to Paris?

My 24th.

No?

What do you do, run over every weekend and borrow a cup of perfume?

No, I work for the American embassy.

How about that.

I just knew you were on our side.

Say what do you say we, uh...

I would think of it.

Goodnight Mr. Hunter.

Oh well.

Everybody said it wouldn't last.

Good evening.

Oh, good evening.

May I trouble you for a cigarette monsieur?

Oh, a cigarette? Certainly.

Merci.

And a match please?

A match? Yeah, I have one.

Allow me.

If we get any closer we won't need the lighter.

You're so kind.

Oh, Miss. You forgot your...

No time for your problems dad, I lost the key to my room.

Key?

Key. To open the door.

No, no, no.

Stop acting like a French house detective.

That's my room.

No, no. Not the keyhole, the key.

The key that unlocks the door, you know.

Oh, I'm glad you told me, I usually use it for brushing my teeth.

All I want you to know is I lost my key and I can't get into my room.

My first gray hair.

I should have it bronzed.

Mice?

Must have gone over a bump.

Nervous boat.

Yeah, Ferny.

Casanova.

Must be a gland condition.

Operator.

I'm ready for my call to Paris now.

-Hello. -Andre?

This is Zara.

Good evening.

I trust you have good news.

It is not in his room.

It must be there.

But I searched.

Search again.

Alright.

I'll try again.

You have three days left.

Don't worry.

Goodbye.

He said what a night for romance.

I thought you didn't speak French.

Well, it was just a lucky guess. My second choice was "dig that crazy moon".

Hey, do you think we can both squeeze into one deck chair?

I doubt it.

Only one.

He said it's a chilly night and I ought to keep you warm.

He said, "the deckchairs are now available".

That's even better.

Excuse me.

What's the cover charge?

That's what I love about the French.

No wonder there are 50 million of them.

-You know... -Yes?

Be my guest.

I was just thinking, too bad it's your last night.

All that moonlight gone to waste.

Yeah, and it's so free.

Gee, I hope it's being taken advantage of somewhere.

You know it's the mating season for shellfish?