Losing Chase

A state of mind impossible to describe...

"clinical depression".

"Nervous breakdown".

"Exhaustion".

My favorite... "collapse".

The philosophical sort might say I'd lost my way.

Those with faith might hope I was trying to find it.

But to all of my dear friends here on the island,

I'd simply lost my mind.

I'm going to the ferry now, love.

Her name is Elizabeth, darling.

Please try to remember.

Elizabeth.

Elizabeth.

That's it.

That's good, darling!

Okay.

My poor husband.

I won't be long!

Poor boy.

I've committed the worst sin of my ilk... I'd embarrassed

my husband.

A slow, steady decline, and then... bam.

One triumphant stand at gay head lighthouse in the

middle of a spectacular nor'easter.

I sure picked one hell

of a storm.

Yeah!

Naturally, once they got me down, they sent me away.

Any self-respecting man of his class would've done

the same thing.

After a lengthy stay, I was once again deemed fit for

society and returned to the island where Richard

waited with open arms.

He wanted to reward me for my good behavior.

So, something wonderful was on its way, something to

alleviate the tension, something to help me

recuperate.

Was it a present

a ring? No.

It was a mother's helper.

A companion.

A girl.

A girl.

I got this.

You sure?

Yeah.

Well, love, here she is... The girl you've been

waiting for.

Elizabeth, this is my wife... Mrs. Philips.

Elizabeth Cole.

Pleasure to meet you.

Likewise, I'm sure.

That's good, darling.

That's enough.

Come on, I'll show you to your room.

Okay. Thanks.

I finally figured it out.

What's that?

What you remind me of.

It's a good retriever waiting to sprint after his

master's dummy.

Rrrruff!

Well, Elizabeth, what are you planning on calling me?

I was planning on calling you Mrs. Philips, unless there's

something that you'd prefer.

How are your "ma'ams" and "sirs"?

Excuse me?

Well, were you taught to answer, "yes, ma'am"

and "no, sir", or was your upbringing more casual?

No, let me rephrase.

Do you belch at the table?

When you go to the bathroom, do you close the door?

When you kiss a family friend or relative, do you make

lip contact with the cheek?

Well, I used to say "ma'am" and "sir" before my classmates

made fun of me at grade school.

Aww. Aren't children cruel?

Well, Elizabeth, whatever you do, don't call me "ma'am",

unless you want to spend the summer at home.

You can "ma'am" and "sir" Richard all you like.

Just don't do it with me, okay?

Okay.

Elizabeth, would you mind getting me a cigarette?

No, not at all.

Where would I find them?

In my breast pocket.

That-a-girl.

Mr. Philips didn't tell me that you smoked.

I don't.

It's just for decoration.

You can put that back where you found it.

Don't tell me, let me guess... You just graduated from

bennington.

No, Sarah Lawrence. Close.

With a degree art history.

Creative writing.

Creative writing.

I went through a similar charade at Radcliffe

years ago.

As you can see, it didn't get me very far.

What make are those pants?

Esprit.

Were they expensive?

I'm sure you could afford a pair.

No, what I want to know, Elizabeth, is how do you

pay for them?

Well... does your mummy give you

money, or do you have a nice, fat trust fund to dip your

mitts into once a month?

My, mother is dead.

I am sorry.

Well, at any rate, Elizabeth, you'll be able to buy a whole

new wardrobe at the end of the summer when you're through

with me, with all that money you've earned.

I'm not interested in fashion, or in...

Well, then buy yourself a few ounces of cocaine

and disappear for a while.

I don't do drugs.

Well, what are you gonna do with all that cash, then?

Heh. I didn't take this job for the money, Mrs. Philips.

I didn't take it for the money.

You'll have to excuse me, Elizabeth.

You know... I've lost all sense of decorum.

What size are they?

What size are what?

Your pants.

Six.

Think they'll fit me?

I don't know.

Let's give them a try.

Mrs. Philips... Come on, Elizabeth, there's

no one around for miles.

Off with your pants.

I want to try them on.

Now, Elizabeth, I'm in charge here... let's get that straight.

You do as I say.

Now, off with the pants.

You play sports, I see.

Still warm.

Please don't play games with me, Mrs. Philips.

I haven't begun to play.

What's going on out there, love?

Elizabeth wanted to try on my skirt.

Is that right, Elizabeth?

Yes. Yes, sir.

Heh.

Ha ha!

It looks good on you, Elizabeth.

Okay, here we are, boys.

Let's not wake up your mother.

Let's not wake up your mother.

Love the skirt, Margaret!

Gotta run! See you later!

Yeah, nice to see you, too.

Where's the girl?

What's she look like?

What's her name

I'm talking to you.

She's inside.

She's 6-foot-tall, she's very hairy, and her name is Mary.

She's dying to meet you.

Mom, I've got something for you.

Really?

What is it?

You're nuts!

Her name's Elizabeth.

You can't even remember her name!

You shut up!

Why don't you go inside and play us a song on the piano,

little Richard?

You don't have a goddamn piano!

Let me see.

My little artist.

That's beautiful!

Who is it?

You.

Well, of course it is.

It looks just like me.

Signing your name in flame?

Scrumptious.

Now where's she going?

I forgot the bread.

It's still in the oven.

Yeah, go on.

Richard, what is all this up and down business?

I mean, can't she just sit with us and eat?

She's serving us dinner, dear.

I don't want her to serve me dinner, dear.

Aren't you hungry, love?

I just... i think all this ceremony is unnecessary.

The medication sometimes takes her appetite away.

You can cut Jason's chicken into petite little...

No, I'll cut his chicken, Elizabeth.

Dear, Elizabeth is being paid to cook and serve,

to take care of the boys, to help you recuperate.

She doesn't mind serving us.

Doesn't that bother you?

No, it doesn't bother me.

Well, now, you've turned into a proper slave