The Baker and the Beauty

My name is Daniel Garcia.

My life used to be pretty normal.

I worked at my family's bakery in Little Havana

with my mom, my dad,

my crazy brother, and my little sister.

I had a girlfriend. Life was good.

Until she decided to propose.

Will you marry me?

And I decided to say...

No.

That's when everything changed.

I met Noa Hamilton,

as in international superstar, fashion icon,

one of the most famous women in the world...

that Noa Hamilton!

The next few days were crazy, fun, sexy, romantic.

She rocked my world.

You're fearless.

And my family's too.

- What happened? - Your girlfriend happened.

She's changed our lives.

Noa Hamilton is playing my song at her party.

But then her manager said

she picked up people like me all the time.

Normal guys.

She does this after every heartbreak.

Noa Hamilton, the model,

and Colin Davis, the actor, have broken up.

I just flew halfway across the planet

to tell you that I love you.

So you can imagine how surprised I was

by her invitation.

I'm going to Puerto Rico next week.

I'd like you to come.

- I don't get it. I don't get it.

How can you just act like all you're doing is packing?

- Because that is all I'm doing. - Aw.

Daniel, I don't think you understand

the universe-bending nature of what is happening.

You're in denial, Daniel!

Taking Baker Boy on this trip is a big mistake.

Oh! And it sends the wrong message.

Like what?

Like that you and her are gonna do the deed.

The idea that my brother and the most famous woman in the world...

Might possibly hop into bed together.

He's gonna be clingy and awkward,

not to mention a public relations nightmare.

- Help me out here, Pipes. - I think it'll be fun.

- Lewis, relax. - It's one day and one night.

- It's an overnight. An out-of-town getaway.

It's a charity benefit for a school she's helping build.

You think he cares about that, Miss Skinny-dip?

It was not like that.

I mean, it was a great night,

but being with her, it just feels natural.

- He's sweet. - She's smart.

- He's kind. - She's funny.

- Yeah, okay. I'm gonna throw up.

I'm gonna throw up.

- Hi, mi amor. - Mom.

I'm going to Puerto Rico, not the moon.

- I don't care. Mira.

This is your grandfather's rosary.

I want you to say three Hail Marys

before the plane takes off.

- Ma. - Okay?

- What? - Do you hear yourself?

Let me ask you something, Miss Sabelotodo.

If I'm wrong, it costs him nothing.

- But if I'm right... - Hmm.

20 centuries of guilt summed up in 11 words.

I'll post something every few hours

so you guys can keep up on my adventures, okay?

Ay, a visit to Piñones.

Ooh, or your night at the gala.

I smell something burning, so...

- Pop, I'm ready. - Promise me one thing.

She's a celebrity.

She makes people fall in love with her for a living.

Just don't get carried away.

Dad, I won't. Let's go.

Ma'am?

Champagne, sir?

Sure.

Okay, I've confirmed the food, the linens, the decorations.

They've all arrived safely.

I'm gonna park myself in that ballroom

and make sure that everything goes perfectly.

You know how I get about events.

- Love you madly. - Love you more.

- Piper. - Yo.

Hey, come sit down.

- Just don't make me laugh. - Can't make any promises.

I have to focus.

I'm learning tonight's speech, and I'm dyslexic,

so it takes me a little longer.

That's why you do this stuff with schools.

After the storm, I was seeing images

of children playing in the street

because they didn't have schools to go to.

So I decided to do something about it.

- That's really cool... - Okay.

I've got updates for you,

and ground rules for you.

Junket is set... 14 outlets, five minutes each,

all of them promising to focus on your charity work.

Oh, we've got some last minute updates on the guest list.

Kendall and Kylie flaked. Shocker.

Chrissy and John are now maybes.

Oh, Melanie Caan is on the island.

- No way. - Yes.

- Lewis! - This is your chance to finally meet her

and show her how fabulous you are.

As for you, I need your signature.

It's an NDA... non-disclosure agreement...

basically saying that you won't talk about your time with Noa.

- He doesn't have to sign that. - No, no.

If it makes Gucci happy, then okay.

- Yeah. It makes Gucci happy.

All right, next.

In case you both lose your minds,

no touching, no kissing, no whispering sweet nothings,

no anything that the press can interpret as romance, okay?

- Okay, NDA's good, PDA's bad. I got it.

You know, I know it's all the rage for most celebrities

to live every twist and turn of their personal lives

on social media, but Noa's not most celebrities, okay?

Her brand connotes more than good taste,

it connotes class.

Think Kennedy, not Kardashian.

Do you know who the Kennedys were?

Okay, I think he gets it, Lewis.

Does he?

Because honey, we were able to dodge

full-blown tabloid coverage of your breakup with Colin

only because the two of you didn't feed the fire.

- Gucci, it makes sense. I won't make any more jokes.

- Thank you. One more thing.

Your room key... 103. Your bag's already in there.

- 103? This is the fourth floor.

They didn't have anything closer?

They didn't have anything further away.

I think he's starting to like me.

- See you. - I'll see you later.

Yeah, it's been one of my better rental properties,

but it's time to sell.

The question, Ms. Sanchez, is,

are you the agent to sell it for me?

Problem?

- Oh! Minor inconvenience.

Mr. Weiss, fantasy can be dangerous.

Too many real estate agents don't know this.

They'd walk their clients through this house

and ask them to imagine what it could be.

Me?

I'd sell it based on what it already is.

I'm not interested in appealing

to dreamers who never buy anything.

I'm interested in the people who are ready to take the plunge.

So if you list with me, I'll have my stagers here by noon

and my first open house tomorrow because this place...

is already special.

Ms. Sanchez, as someone who knows business,

take it from me...

you have a bright future.

- Thank you. I'll get the paperwork.

You have kids?

My oldest, Zack...

his bar mitzvah's been nothing but trouble.

The venue, the rabbi... now I lost the DJ.

The DJ?

I might have someone.

- Is it Daniel? - No!

It's a wrong number.

A very, very wrong number.

He's there!

He is? Let me see, let me see.

Look at that placita.

- Rafael, mira... look! - Hmm.

- Is everything okay? - Fine.

Oh, I forgot to tell you guys.

I heard Mr. Perez might be retiring,

and that means that the building next door

might become available,

and if our business stays this successful, who knows?

Mari, por favor.

- Amy? Who's Amy?

Just my friend from school.

You have a friend?

Judging by your tone,

sounds like you think cold fusion was more likely.

- Cold? Who's cold?

I'm just excited that you have a friend.

I know how hard it's been.

- And now... - Mom, please.

The more you talk, the worse it gets.

- Ma? - Mm-hmm?

- What did you just do? - Invited her over.

Oh, my God.