The Forbidden Kingdom (King of Kung Fu / Gong fu zhi wang / 功夫之王) (The Forbidden Kingdom)

Aah!

Aah!

(Sound of truck driving away outside)

Hoo! Hyah!

Hoo yah!

Wah!

(Woman accompanied by big band singing in Chinese)

What's going on, Hop?

Oh, you back again?

Oh, sick!

Find good one?

Yeah, Ten Tigers of Kwangtung.

This is gold.

Oh!

Bride with White Hair.

Chinese, no subtitles.

Hey, Hop, do you have any early Shaw Brothers?

There's a guy who does leopard style--

Leopard style, dragon style...

fly through air, fight on water.

Crouching tiger, spanking monkey.

I know you.

Another white boy who wants to know kung fu.

Kick the ass.

Get the girls.

Only storage back here.

Where did you get this?

It was here...

when my grandfather opened this shop...

hundred years ago.

He waited for a man to come to pick it up...

return to rightful owner.

Man never came.

My father take over the shop.

Waited, too. Long time.

Now me.

That's a Northern Temple-style bo staff.

Same kind the thirteen monks used to save the Tang Emperor.

I've seen it before.

That exact one.

I've had dreams about it.

You know why?

You watch too much Hong Kong Phooey.

Come.

Come on.

I give you five awesome Bruce Lee movie...

for very sick price.

You're the man, Hop.

Jason!

Hey. What's up?

Not much. Just, you know, cruisin'.

You been down to Chinatown.

What's up with that?

Oh. (Laughs)

Kung fu.

Are you serious?

I'm not supposed to talk about it...

not under the kung fu code.

Hey, look.

The new kid's makin' time with the hoodsies.

J-boy, you still riding this loser cruiser?

You need to get a motor for this shit.

What we got here?

Just some bootlegs, no big deal.

"Enter the Dragon"?

"The Bride With White Hair"?

Yeah, that's actually very good.

- Oh! - Ow! Punk.

Come on, let him go.

Yeah, don't. He knows kung fu.

What?

You think you're Chinese?

You hangin' out with them Chinks in C-town?

What's up with you? Let's see some, man.

Come on. Come on.

Let's see some kung fu, huh?

Kung fu master. Huh? Huh?

Want some Tae Kwon Do, huh?

Yo, Lupo.

He's hangin' out with that old Chink cashes checks.

You in tight with the old man?

Just shut up and do it!

It's late, man. He's probably gone home.

He's not here. Let's just go.

- (Door opens) Who's there?

Ah! Kung fu boy.

You back for more good-price movie?

I told you, best deal in Chinatown.

Come in.

(Baseball announcer on television)

Want some tea?

Red Sox game is on.

Yankees winning. Very bad.

Who's with you?

Friend?

Where you keep the cash?

I said, where do you keep the cash?

- Please-- - Come on, old man!

(Sound of boys ransacking store)

Stay here!

Hey.

Found your Xbox.

Hop!

Jesus, Lupo!

- What the hell, man? - You shot him!

Take it.

Must return to rightful owner.

Run.

You didn't see that, yo.

You didn't see that!

Come here, you little shit!

Lupo, come on, man! Just don't--

You didn't see nothing! Calm down, Lupo.

Hey, chill, man. Come on.

Put the gun down. Shut up!

Maybe I pulled the trigger, but we're all in this together!

But this little cockroach, he ain't one of us!

Excuse me.

I don't know where I am.

I don't--I don't know how I got here.

I remember falling.

Hmm?

Aah!

- Aah! - (woman screams)

Whoa! Aah!

Whoa!

- (speaking Chinese) - What? This?

You want this?

Aah!

- (man grunting) - (soldiers shouting)

Aah!

I don't know what you're saying.

I can't understand you!

That's because you're not listening!

- (footsteps) - Behind you!

Aah!

Hyah!

(traditional Chinese music playing)

I don't know where I am...

or how I got here...

and who those guys were that wanted to kill me.

But whatever you did back there was sick.

No. Drunken Fist.

Secret kung fu of the South.

I'm Lu Yan, traveling scholar.

What land do you come from, monk?

I'm not a monk.

I'm Jason.

Jason Tripitikas, from South Boston.

Is this a dream?

No.

Where you came from is the dream...

through the Gate of No Gate.

Is that like a wormhole or something?

No. It means you are either a Zen master...

or you carry something very special.

This?

It was in a pawn shop, waiting for a man to pick it up...

and return it to its rightful owner.

What?

It's long been foretold...

that a seeker will come...

to return the staff and end the reign of the Jade Warlord.

Return the staff to who?

The Monkey King.

Born of a stone...

on the mountain of fruit and flowers.

With his weapon in hand...

- his chi became like fire... - (Shouting)

his stick fighting like magic.

He defied the order of the land...

but the Jade Army could not defeat him.

Ooh!

Hee hee hee hee