South Park

Hey, you guys, look what I have!

What?

Four tickets to The Lion King on stage.

Oh. - Oh.

Oh, come on, you guys, it's supposed to be really cool.

Yeah, no, it sounds really cool.

You guys, you guys, oh, my God!

Oh, my God, you guys!

What, dough boy? - I was just...

I was just watching the TV. They had this commercial.

So?

So guess what they're gonna say

tonight on that show Cop Drama.

What? - No, come on, guess.

They're gonna say something

that's never been said on television.

What? - You'll never guess.

What? - Guess.

God damn it, Cartman,

What are they gonna say on Cop Drama?

You ready?

Tonight on Cop Drama, on TV, they're gonna say...

"shit".

They're gonna say "shit" on television?

They can't say "shit" on television.

It was just on the news! People are freakin' out, dude!

Holy fucking shit.

We gotta watch.

Yeah, I'm gonna have people over to my house to see it.

But I've got these tickets to see Lion King on stage.

Maybe you didn't hear me, Kyle.

I said "shit," on television.

It's just a marketing ploy by the network,

like that time they had the first male-to-male kiss

with Terrance and Phillip.

Oh, come on, dude, this is history.

It's stupid.

Jeez, you're a little irritable, Kyle.

What's the matter, you got some sand in your vagina?

No, I don't have sand in my vagina.

I just think it's a little immature

for us to be standing around,

talking about one dumb word being on TV!

Hey, uh, Sam, did you hear the news?

Yeah, they're gonna say "shit" on television.

We should all get together and watch it at the bar.

Yeah!

Yeah. - Yeah.

Are you guys gonna let your kids watch?

Oh, sure.

I mean, you know, Cop Drama's a very artsy, dramatic show.

And they're gonna say "shit"!

Hey, Butters, I got tickets to go see Lion King tonight,

and I decided to invite you before anybody else.

Oh, sorry, I can't.

They're gonna say "shit" on Cop Drama,

and my mom and dad say I have to watch it with them

so I don't take it the wrong way.

How many ways are there to take it?

It's just a stupid word!

Hey, everybody, it's on in 30 minutes!

Listen, Mitchell, I put my life on the line every day.

How dare you accuse me?

Oh, I bet this is it. Here it comes.

I'm doing my job, Frank.

We have to know where that evidence was shipped.

Oh, was that it? Was that it?

"Shipped". He said "shipped".

I told you we don't have a record of that, and besides,

your job is to protect the men who serve this force.

God damn it, when are they gonna say "shit"?

Shh!

Maybe... Maybe protect them from you.

Maybe you're forgetting who you're talking to.

And maybe you're forgetting I used to be a cop, too!

Yeah, you used to be a lot of things!

Oh, he doesn't know Mitchell slept with his wife, does he?

That's it. I've had enough of this.

Don't you turn your back on me, you.

I said enough!

Is it? Will it ever be enough?

Cop Drama will return after these messages.

Jesus Christ, another commercial?

Are they ever gonna say "shit"?

I'm sure they're just holding it

to the very last scene.

Both: Ugh! - Where you going, Kyle?

I'm going to the kitchen. This is stupid!

But you're gonna miss it.

They're gonna say "shit" and you're gonna miss it.

I don't really give a fuck.

Oh.

Just understand that it's my job.

I still think you're a good cop.

Well, Mitchell, I guess you're going to do

what you're gonna do.

Let's just try and stay friends no matter what.

You're right. Maybe I'll see you around.

Goodbye. Oh, and, Mitchell?

You've got some shit on the side of your mouth right there.

Oh, yeah, oh, thanks, thanks.

All: Wow!

Both: Whoa!

Oh! All: Whoa!

They did it.

I can't believe they actually said it.

Dude, you missed it, Kyle. It was so awesome!

Well, I hope it lived up to all the hype.

You must feel so much better now.

Kyle, we've gotta get that sand out of your vagina.

It's making you cranky. Does it itch?

Do you really think anything's

gonna be any different now?

Do you really think that this will have

the tiniest, smallest effect on the world?

It's still the same old world out there. Look!

What the hell?

Whoa, dude, it's raining frogs.

Oh, whatever.

Last night, the daring and bold show Cop Drama

broke new ground by saying "shit" on television,

making "shit" officially okay to say around the country.

A recent poll shows that 24% of Americans

think the show has pushed the envelope too far,

while a whopping 76%

say they don't really give a shit.

In other news, a strange virus

which causes victims to vomit up their intestines

is making life shitty for a small farming community.

Rick Watts has the story.

Thanks, Tom.

Shit is certainly going down

here in the small town...

Whoa, shit!

All right, children, in lieu of the common usage,

I'm supposed to clarify the school's position

on the word "shit".

Wow, we can say "shit" in school now?

Oh, this is ridiculous.

Just because they say it on TV, it's all right?

Yes, but only in the figurative noun form

or the adjective form.

Huh?

You can only use it in the non literal sense.

For instance:

"That's a shitty picture of me,"

is now fine.

However, the literal noun form of,

"This is a picture of shit," is still naughty.

I don't get it. - Me neither.

The adjective form is now also acceptable.

For example: "The weather outside is shitty."

However, the literal adjective is not appropriate.

For example:

"My bad diarrhea made the inside of the toilet bowl shitty,

"and I had to clean it with a rag

which then also became shitty."

That's right out.

S... S...

Shit!

Very good, Timmy.

Uh, Ms. Choksondik,

can we say it in the expletive,

like, "oh, shit", or, "shit on a shingle"?

Yes, that's now fine.

Wow, this is gonna be great... a whole new word.

It's not new!

I'm gonna look "shit" up in the encyclopedia and prove it.

Don't mind Kyle, everyone.

He's just got a little sand in his vagina.

There's no sand in my vagina!

Boys, watch your language, shit!

And so, children, instead of saying,

"hand in your papers",

I may now say, "hand in your shit".

Any questions?

What about, "I have to take a shit"?

No! No, Filmore!

You can say, "I have to poop and shit",

or, "oh, shit, I have to poop",

but not, "I have to shit".

Are we all clear? All: No!

Look, it's all about context.

For example, recently, I have come out

and admitted that I was a homosexual.

I'm gay.

That means that now I can say the word "fag".

On television, they usually don't allow "fag".

But because I'm gay, it's all right.

And with the new approval of the word "shit",

that means that finally, I am free to say...

Oh, this is great.

Well, that store has such lovely shit.