7 Days to Hell

Lost my mind and killed a man.

Thought I was Marlon Brando.

Method acting got the best of me.

And most of the casting director's head.

Ended up in bed with the wrong kind of woman.

If you could call her a woman at all.

She sliced me and ate me up.

And now I'm in hell.

It's hot.

And I'll do anything to get out.

No, no!

-No, no, no. No more. -

No, no, no, no, no, stop whipping me!

Have you had enough J.J.?

Reminds me of our first date when I had you all tied up.

No, no, no, no, no.

please, please, please, I'll do anything.

I wanna make a deal.

I wanna make a deal.

Hm, do you want to make a deal, J.J.?

Yeah, I want to make a deal.

I'll do anything.

Untie him.

What?

I said, untie him.

Hellena wants to see him.

Uh, oh, whoa.

Come on.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't J.J.

What do you want?

I'm busy.

I want to get out of here.

I want to make a deal.

I don't make deals with losers.

Hellena, J.J.'s not a loser.

Don't be mean.

Lucy, what the hell is the matter with you?

J.J.?

Come on.

Capone, Dillinger, Clyde Barrow.

I mean, these are real men.

Anybody but this guy.

He's cute, and I like him.

I like his hat and his little boxer shorts.

He's the one.

The one I've been waiting for.

Thank you, baby.

Aw.

J.J.

Lucy likes you, and God knows why.

I'll tell you what, darling.

I'm feeling a little generous.

You have seven days to perform seven deeds.

Bring me seven souls.

You fuck up,

which I'm sure you will, and your ass fries.

Pull it off, and you're free.

Do we have a deal?

You got a deal.

-You got a deal. - Mmm.

Yeah, you got a deal. You better believe it.

Oh, shit.

Oh, man.

Whoo!

Okay.

I'm back, baby.

I'm back.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I missed you, baby.

Yeah.

Not a bad deal, J.J.

Not a bad deal.

Oh, it gets even better.

Better.

["Toccata and Fugue in D Minor" by Bach]

Yeah, hello?

Ready for your first deed, cutie?

Kill a rat.

Kill a rat, huh?

Yeah, that'd be easy.

You got 30 minutes.

Clock's ticking.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

Tick, tock.

All right.

All right, J.J., come on now.

Think, baby.

I know, Scales and Tails.

They'll have a rat.

Scales and Tails, how may I help you?

Yeah, I'm looking for a rat.

Oh, let me see if we have any. Please hold.

Uh, we have literally one left.

Hold him for me.

Okay, I'll be on the way.

We don't do holds.

Don't you worry, pal.

I'm gonna make it worth your while.

Sorry, first come, first served.

That's our policy at Scales and Tails.

Hey, don't tap on the glass, please.

Here's your pet rat.

Snaky's gonna love you.

Uh, we don't normally sell those rats for consumption.

Um, I know.

Okay.

Hey, um, we're closing.

Yeah, you can't come in here.

What are you-- Whoa!

- Where's the rat? -Okay.

- Where's the rat? -We just-- Oh!

We just sold it!

- -Where's the rat?

The goth girl in a black dress.

Which way did she go?

She's right there.

You didn't have to be so mean.

Hey, hey!

- -Give me the rat.

I'm sorry, buddy.

It's you or me.

And I don't want to go back to hell.

So it's gonna be you.

Oh, shit.

Goddamn.

Oh, man.

You look just like Louie.

Our little pet rat when I was seven.

Oh, shit.

I'm gonna have to do you in, buddy,

because I don't want to go back to hell.

I'm gonna have to do you in.

Shut up, you fucking rat!

You fucking rat!

Wait a minute.

Rat.

Maybe it's that kind of rat.

Maybe the devil means that kind of rat.

Hold on, buddy.

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Please don't.

You ratted us out, you piece of shit!

Please, I got a bad ticker.

- Oh, bad ticker, huh? -Yeah.

Let me take care of that.

Step aside, boys!

Who the hell are you?

The exterminator.

You guys scram.

Go on, get out of here.

Three seconds to spare.

Yeah, hello?

Good job, J.J.

Good job.

I didn't think you were smart enough

to figure out which rat I was talking about.

Yeah, well, I did.

Reach to your left pocket, pal.

Turn that hundred bucks into five grand.

Without killing anyone.

You have until midnight.

Good luck.

You're gonna need it.

Lucy, get out of here.

Louie.

Louie, where are you, buddy?

Huh.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

What is the nature of your sin, my son?

I, um...

I killed a rat.

Well, animals are God's creatures, my son.

Say five Hail Marys and ask for Jesus' forgiveness

in your heart.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, it wasn't a pet rat, Father, no.

It was a human, and I shot him in the head.

Repeat after me.

My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.

My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.

In choosing to do wrong

and failing to do good, I have sinned against you.

In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good,

I have sinned against you.

I firmly intend to sin no more

and avoid whatever leads me to sin.

I firmly intend to sin no more

and avoid whatever leads me to sin.