Vida Perfecta

Hello, I'm Princess Di and I'd like to buy a flat.

What type of flat do you want?

I'd like a flat that is close to my work,

because I work in a playground slide shop.

Take a look, I think we have one.

Do you like the kitchen?

Wow! I love the kitchen.

It's awesome.

Now the couch and the living room.

Hey! The couch is gorgeous, I love it.

Look, the double bed is upstairs.

And a bunk bed here, right?

Yes. Do you like it?

Yes, my husband and me plan to have two children

who'll be called Federico and Carolina.

I'll take it. I'm going to buy the flat.

Who will pay for it?

My husband and me will pay for it.

With a mortgage.

Really?

Yes.

The interest rate is 2.5% over twelve months

starting from the date of the last payment.

Then the Euribor rate will be variable, increasing by 0.5.

Final payment: 24 August, 2043.

Perfect.

That wasn't so bad, was it?

Now we all know exactly what we're signing.

Ms. Aguado.

Oh, a black Biro.

Do you have another color?

-It's fine, you can sign in black. -Yes, I know that.

But it doesn't stand out, I'd rather a different color from the text.

Isn't there one here?

I have one.

-It's green. -Okay. Great.

Thanks.

-I sign each page, right? -Yes.

When is the wedding?

Soon.

21 May.

Done.

-Your turn. -My turn.

Are you all right?

Want another Biro?

Why couldn't you sign with the Biro the notary gave you?

It's the same color as the printed word.

You always do the same thing.

In a restaurant we have to change tables three times

because you don't like the lighting.

In a hotel you ask for a room exactly the same as on the website.

You're never satisfied with anything.

-Is this because of the enema? -No!

-No, please don't bring it up. -But that's why.

-It isn't. -Excuse me…

We'll give you some time alone so you can discuss it.

-But we're coming back? -Yes.

This has nothing to do with the enema, okay?

Yes it does.

-No. -Yes.

-I said no! -It is, it's fine.

We haven't had sex since, that was three months ago.

You made me give you one like a nurse.

I said I wouldn't do it without one.

Maybe we could be a bit more spontaneous and do it without one.

-Then clean poo off the sheet? -Yes, I'd rather that!

Stop shouting!

You're just so inflexible.

The world's most inflexible person. And I can't take it anymore.

María.

María.

You can come in.

All right?

-Sorted it out? -We have a question.

If you guys were about to have anal sex…

-No. -What would you prefer?

That your partner had an enema,

or got carried away by passion and cleaned poo off the sheet later?

No need to answer.

It's fine.

I need to know if you're going to sign or not.

I'm sorry, María.

I can't sign a 30-year mortgage with you. I just can't.

It isn't for 30 years.

It's for 25.

They just read it to us.

I have to get out of here. I have to go.

Really?

Sorry.

Sorry.

PERFECT LIFE

We can't get the down payment back, can we?

May I have the Biro back, please?

Thank you.

WHEN YOU DON'T LET YOURSELF GO

Listen, I didn't take the pill last night.

-Do I take it twice? -Absolutely not.

Are you sure? I won't get pregnant?

-Honey. -Where are you?

Just leaving the meeting now.

-Hurry, today's the day. -I'll be there in 20, okay?

Ciao, ciao.

I love you!

I love you! I love you!

Give me a hug!

Give me a hug!

Shit. Sorry, man.

-Did I wake you up? -No, no.

-You sure? -It's fine.

-How are you? -Good.

-What time is it? -Ten.

Fancy grabbing some breakfast together?

Didn't you have to get up early to paint?

Yeah, I've finished.

I wanted to take a little break before going to work, you know?

And what do you do?

-I work in a museum. -Really?

Yeah.

-What about you? -I work in a shop.

Hiya!

Welcome to the "ladies with mortgages club."

We'll celebrate this afternoon at Paula's birthday. We'll drink a toast

to your new flat!

Gustavo has left me.

The bouncy castle people are coming at four. Can you let them in?

Yes, your husband told me.

Hello?

-Thanks so much. -No trouble.

Sweetie, I'm so happy for you.

Love you, okay? Gotta meeting now.

See you at the party. I love you!

Love you too.

Hi, honey. Where are you?

In the kitchen.

-How are you? -Fine.

We have to rush. How was the meeting?

Great. What about you?

-Good. -Yeah?

Yes, very good.

We need to make it quick.

-I have 15 minutes. -I have five.

-I have to go to work. -Okay.

Hang on.

-We can call him Rafa. -What?

We can call the baby Rafa.

After Rafa Nadal.

His school pals will be able to say, "Come on, Rafa."

But first, you have to get me pregnant, right?

Okay.

-I'm coming! I'm coming! -Honey!

We've made Rafa with this one, huh?

They shot out like a smash hit.

You're the best. Love you.

Bye.

Come on, come on.

Picasso.

Look how incredibly realistic the wrinkle is on the throat.

First time I saw it I said, "Crap, it's my granddad."

We've placed Dalí next to Velázquez,

because maybe you don't know this, but Dalí was a big fan of Velázquez.

What a pity they're made of wax and can't talk and stuff.

Come here, Sebas.

I'd like to introduce Sebas.

He's one of the wax museum artists.

You'll be amazed when you hear how he made Justin Bieber's fringe.

What? No… What?

Home owner! Home owner!

What are you doing here?

Gustavo has left me.

What?

Gustavo left me.

Jesus!

Let's see…

-Look, yellow! Here, Gari! -Thanks.

Here.

This will look perfect.

How's it going, Genaro?

Are the rug rats behaving?

I'm gonna hire them.

They can help me in the porter's lodge.

-Need a hand? -Yes, thanks.

-Know what I'm going to bring now? -What?

-More light bulbs! -Cool!

What's up, Martina?

What's wrong?

Great!

Oh, Mummy's phone is ringing. Let's see…

What's up, Javier? How are you fixed?

My cake! My cake!

Hang on just a second, Javier.

Gari.

Could you pay the cake guy?

It was 25 and a bit. Make it 27.

-27. -He has to give you back 23.

-27.23. -That's it.

-Okay. -Great. Thanks.

Hiya!

I'm listening, Javier.

The cake, Mummy!

You have to charge 27.