The Apprentice

And I want to say this to the television audience

I've made my mistakes,

but in all of my years of public life,

I have never profited,

never profited from public service.

I've earned every cent.

And in all of my years of public life,

I have never obstructed justice.

And I think too that I can say

that in my years of public life,

I welcome this kind of examination

because people have got to know whether or not

their president's a crook.

Well, I'm not a crook.

I've earned everything I've got.

"Anti, Anti, Anti" by The Consumers.

There's nothing like this place.

There's nothing like it.

You know, the Vanderbilts and the Kennedys,

they all came here.

Do... do you see the old guy over there

with the pretty young model?

That's Daniel K Ludwig,

the shipping magnate,

one of the only two billionaires

in the United States.

Then over here you got Si Newhouse.

He owns half of all the newspapers

and magazines in the country.

Anybody who is anybody comes here to this place.

There's nothing like it.

Why are you so obsessed with these people?

Well, I mean, I'm not obsessed with these people,

I just, uh...

I'm curious, you know, about people.

There's a skill to being a billionaire.

It's a... it's a talent,

you have to be born with it.

You have to have a certain gene, you know.

It's a pretty cool place.

Yeah, and they say I'm the youngest

member ever admitted.

That must be a big thing.

It is, it's a very big thing.

I'm just gonna go powder my nose.

Okay, sure.

Excuse me.

I'm Russell.

My friend wants to know if you'd join us for dinner.

Uh, well, I'm actually leaving, so, uh...

He's a long-time member.

He wants to congratulate you on passing

the selection committee.

Well, that's totally, uh, untrue.

Sonny Liston, was, uh, well, fine,

he was arrested, uh, nineteen times.

But, uh, the guy was a champion

so, you can't, uh, blame him for it.

- Well, hello there. - How's it going?

- How are you? - I'm fine, thank you.

Have a seat.

We're not gonna bite.

There you go.

What's your name, handsome?

I'm Donald Trump.

Donald Trump, nice to meet you. Roy Cohn.

The Roy Cohn, from all the papers and everything?

That's right, uh, the Roy Cohn from all the papers,

that's right. - Yeah, you're brutal.

I'm brutal, that's right.

He's the guy who put the Rosenbergs in the chair.

The Rosenbergs in the fucking chair!

On that count, uh, guilty as charged.

But, uh, whatever I do, I do it for America.

- Well, uh... - What are you drinking?

Um, I'll just have some ice water.

- Ice water? - Living on the edge, eh?

Oh, yeah.

Meet my pals, uh, this is, uh, Carmine Galante.

- Nice to meet you. - And, uh, this, uh,

voluptuous gentleman over here with the diabetes is,

uh, Tony Salerno.

Can I call you Fat Tony? Are you gonna get...?

Call me whatever the fuck you want, Roy.

- Good. - You're my attorney.

- Hello. - Uh, you don't call him Fat Tony

because, uh, you might end up, uh, in the East River

or something like that. - Hello.

Uh, everybody else is not worth naming.

I, uh, I love getting to know people,

it's important for my business,

so, it's really nice to meet you all.

Mr Salerno, it's really nice to meet you.

What is your business, Donald?

Real estate. I'm, uh,

Vice President of The Trump Organization.

Oh, you're Fred Trump's kid?

That's right.

He's Fred Trump's kid.

It sounds like, uh, your father is a little tangled up.

It looks like he could use a good lawyer.

But tell us about it.

Right now, the government and the NAACP are suing us.

Uh, they're saying our apartments are segregated.

This is America, you can rent to

whoever the hell you goddamn want.

But our lawyer wants us to pay a huge fine to settle

and we can't, it's gonna bankrupt us

and ruin the company, so... - You tell the feds

to fuck 'emselves.

Damn straight!

File a lawsuit.

Always file a lawsuit,

fight 'em in court.

Uh, make 'em prove

you're discriminating.

Well, I guess, uh...

might have to get us, uh, a new lawyer.

Of course, it, uh, helps if

Nixon and the Attorney General

are your pals.

Well, are you available? I mean...

Uh, what are you, some kind of a faggot?

"Street Man" by Brooklyn Dreams.

Mrs Nathanson?

Yeah.

The rent.

You got it? Is that all?

I think so.

You think so?

Yeah. Yeah.

And if I count it and it's not there,

what am I supposed to do?

It's just the one month. I just hurt my back,

I just hurt myself, that's all,

and I had to go to hospital.

You know what that's like.

Let's hope you're alive next month.

Get the rent. Get the rent.

Or if not, this is it.

Mrs Thompson.

You bloodsuckers.

Half?

You're not real.

I am very, very real.

You're in my head!

Mr Granger, please.

Come on.

Fuck you!

Fuck you!

Fucker!

These NAACP faggots call me racist.

Frederick, please, enough.

Mary, they call me a racist.

How can I be racist

when I have a black driver, Mary?

No language.

How can that be?

Pleasant conversation.

I'm not racist.

No politics.

You think that's funny, Freddy?

Would you get your elbow

off of the table, please?

Yes, Sir.

Dad, the truth is we're being sued,

we need the lawsuit behind us,

and I need to bid on the Commodore,

and I think with Roy, we have a chance.

Not this crap about your hotel, please.

Roy Cohn is not the guy that's gonna help us, okay?

He's a crook.

He's been indicted three times.

He's never been convicted, by the way.

The man's a genius. He ran McCarthy's show

when he was basically a teenager,

and he's pals with Nixon himself. He's vicious.

You don't think I've tried pulling strings

with Beame and Rockefeller?

They're no help.

The government wants to kill us.

Just, just take the meeting, that's all I'm saying.

Just, just meet with him to discuss, that's all.

I think maybe Donnie's right.

Why not meet with Cohn,

get a second opinion?

Says the airline pilot.

My first-born son

is a goddamn bus driver with wings.

Frederick, please.

Do you know what kind of an embarrassment

that is for us?

Whenever... whenever I'm asked

about my family,

I don't mention you, Freddy.

That's how embarrassed I am about you.

Frederick, enough.

Do you like the music?