Swingers

No way.

You're nobody 'til somebody loves you.

You're nobody 'til somebody cares.

You may be king You may possess the world.

And its gold.

But gold won't bring you happiness.

When you're growin' old.

The world still is the same.

You never change it.

As sure as the stars.

Shine above.

You're nobody 'til somebody loves you.

So find yourself somebody to love.

The world still is the same.

You never change it.

As sure as the stars.

Shine above.

But you're nobody 'til somebody loves you.

So find yourself somebody to love.

So find yourself somebody to love.

- Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her? - You don't call.

- You said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her. - Right.

- So I don't call either way. - Right.

- So what's the difference? - There is no difference right now.

See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up...

is if you take her back when she wants to come back.

But you can't do anything to make her want to come back.

In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.

So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her.

- Right. - Well, that sucks.

Yeah, it sucks.

So it's like a retroactive decision then? I mean, I could, like, forget about her.

And then when she comes back, make like I just pretended to forget about her?

Right, although probably more likely the opposite.

What do you mean?

I mean, at first you're gonna pretend to forget about her.

Not call her, I don't know, whatever.

But then, eventually, you really will forget about her.

- Well, unless she comes back first. - Mm, see, that's the thing.

Somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.

- There's the rub. - There's the rub.

Look, man, uh, I'm sorry we always talk about the same thing all the time.

- Ah, no, it's all right. - It's just that, you know... It's just you been there, man.

- Don't sweat it. - Your advice really helps. And I just, I don't know...

You know, Rob, you're the only one I can talk to about her.

Thanks. Thanks, man.

Hello, you have four messages.

Message one.

Hey, gorgeous, it's, uh, Trent calling.

Look, you gotta get that girl out of your head. Uh, I hope my...

Message two.

Hey, Mike, uh, if you want to talk about Michelle, give me...

Message three.

- Did she call yet? I'm sure she... - Message four.

Michael, this is Grandma.

We all miss you back here in New York.

You still haven't told me if you got that part on the television pro...

That was your last message.

You have to put things in perspective.

- I know, I know. - She doesn't deserve you.

Thanks. I appreciate that.

There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Okay, that's great advice. Thanks a lot. Okay? Bye.

- Life, after all... - Please, I'm trying to make a phone call.

- Are you calling her? - No. Will you stop? I'm try... Please.

- Hello? - What's up, Trent?

Hey, we got two parties tonight. One's for a modeling agency.

- I don't know. - Listen to me, baby. There's gonna be beautiful babies there.

I... Look, Trent, uh, I got shit to do tomorrow.

Listen to you. I've got a final callback on a pilot at 9:00, and I'm going to this thing.

Come on, Mike, you got to get out with the beautiful babies.

- You can't sit at home thinking about it. - Not tonight.

Not tonight? Listen to you! We're gonna have fun tonight.

We gotta get you out of that stuffy apartment.

We're gonna spend half the night driving around the hills looking for this one party,

and you're gonna say it sucks, and we're all gonna leave,

and then we're gonna go look for this other party.

But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck.

I spend half the night talkin' to some girl who's lookin' around the room...

to see if there's somebody else who's more important she should be talking to.

And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy, uh, 'cause she's wearing a backpack.

I... You know, and half of them are just nasty skanks...

who wouldn't be nothing, except they're surrounded by a bunch of drunken, horny assholes.

I'm gonna tell you something, T. Are you listening?

- Yeah, I'm listening. - I'm not gonna be one of those assholes, all right?

It just makes me sick.

It's like, uh, some nasty skank who isn't half the woman my girlfriend is...

is gonna front me?

- It makes me want to fuckin' puke. - Jesus Christ!

Will you shut up for a minute? We gotta get you the fuck out of Dodge, man.

- We're goin' to Vegas tonight. - What are you talkin' about?

- Vegas, baby. Vegas! - What do you mean, Vegas?

- Vegas. Las Vegas. - I'm not going to no Vegas.

Yeah. I think... You know what, man? We're gonna go to Vegas and, uh...

- When are we going to Vegas? - We're going tonight.

- No, we're not going tonight. I'm not going to Vegas! - I'm gonna pick you up.

- Listen to me. - No, you listen to me. I'm not going, okay?

- None of this shit anymore. - Listen, I just listened to you; Now hear me out.

You bring something nice to wear.

- I'm not going to Vegas. - Mike, we're going.

I'm not going to Vegas.

All right, listen. I took out $300, but I'm only betting with 100.

I can't afford any more than that, all right?

And I figure if we buy a lot of chips, though, the pit boss will see us,

he'll comp us all sorts of free shit; that's how it works over there.

- But you gotta be cool. - I'm cool, baby, I'm cool.

They're gonna give Daddy a room, some breakfast, maybe Bennett singing.

- I know just the place. - What the hell are you wearin'?

I thought you said we're gonna wear suits.

Oh, Mike, you gotta stop worrying about this. We're goin' to Vegas, man.

If you're wearing a suit, and you look like you gamble a lot, they give you free shit.

It's in the back. I'll put it on when we get there.

Uh-uh. No way. No, turn around. I'm goin' home.

You gotta show up wearing that suit, or otherwise I'm not going.

All right already, okay? I'll put my suit on. Grab the wheel. Hold it steady.

- I'm tellin' you, this is how you do it. - I know!

- They're watching you when you drive up. That's how it works. - Fine, fine.

It could work. I'm serious.

They're gonna give Daddy the Rain Man suite. You dig that?

- We're going to Vegas, Mike. Vegas! - Vegas!

You think we can get there by midnight?

- We're gonna be up five "hundy" by midnight! - Yeah!

- Vegas! Vegas! - Vegas, baby. Vegas!

Vegas, baby. Vegas.

'Cause I'm not the happy guy I used to be.

She thinks I.

Still care.

But if she's happy thinking

I still need her.

Vegas, baby. Vegas.

Vegas.

It's the root of all evil Of strife and upheaval.

But I'm certain, honey.

That life would be sunny.

With plenty of money.

And you.

I always thought, uh, Caesar's was more the dope spot.

Back in their day, this place was a real contender, but now they'll appreciate the business.

They'll probably fall all over themselves for a couple of high-class guys like me and you.

- Now, we're not... - You want to be fresh on the scene, right?

The new places down on the strip, now, those places are supposed to be it.

Oh, Mike, you don't want all that fuckin' Pirate of the Caribbean horseshit.

Or the rock and roll grunge tip.

You know, guys like me and you gotta kick it here. Old school.

Yeah, this is... This is truly old school.

- Definitely old school. - This place is fuckin' dead.

You know, I'm gonna find me two waitresses here and I'm gonna pull me a Fredo.

- Yeah, well, they're all skanks. - What are you talkin' about?

Look at all the beautiful babies here.

The beautiful babies don't work midnights to 6:00 on a... on a Wednesday.

- This is the skank shift. - Look at all the beautiful honeys here.

- Excuse me. - Excuse me, darling. I want you to remember this face here.

This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.

Okay.

Will you cut that shit out?

- What? She smiled. - That's not cool, man.

- Did she or did she not smile? - It doesn't matter.

- Mike, I'm telling you, girls love that stuff. - You're gonna screw up our plan.

- Baby, we're gonna get laid. - Could we first see what happens when we play it cool?

What do you think, Mike? Do you think she's gonna leave us and go tell her pit boss on us?

Will you stop makin' fun, all right?

The trick is we gotta look like we don't need the shit, then they give us shit for free.

Right, right, right. Well, I think you look great, man.

I think I'm looking like the money, like the bomb, right?

All right, stop. See that? That, uh, table? That's where we make our scene.

You think they'll notice me and you?

Oh, they're gonna notice me and you, 'cause they're watching.

- Nicely done, sir. You're on a streak now. - It's about time.

One of the best streaks I've ever had. I wanna get even.

Uh, start with, uh, I don't know, 300?

I can count that for you.

- On the table. - Excuse me?

- You have to lay it on the table. - I don't want to bet it all.

You're not allowed to hand me money, sir.

You have to lay it on the table if you want me to change it.

- Changing 300. - Three hundred.

- Do you have anything smaller? - Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.

But this happens to be a $100 minimum bet table.

Perhaps you'd be more comfortable at one of our lower stakes tables.

Okay, just tuck 'em under, just like this.

There you go.

Cocktails?

Guy behind the guy.

I'll have a scotch on the rocks, please.

Any scotch will do, as long as it's not a blend, of course.

Uh, single malt. Glenlivet, Glenfiddich perhaps.

Maybe a Glengow... Any Glen.

Scotch on the rocks.

- Double down. - What?

You got an 11. You always double down on an 11.

I know, but it's $200. It's blood money.

- Mike, you gotta double down. - I can't double down.

- Mike, if you don't look like you know what you're doing... - Will you stop for a second?

- Just shut up, okay? I can't. - If you don't look like you know what you're doing...

Just stop for a second!

Double down.

That's nice.

Eighteen. Good. Eighteen's good.

Twelve. Sixteen.

Twenty-one.