New Kids Nitro

Excuse me, Excuse me, sorry.

These are our seats, asshole. - I don't think so. Look.

Awesome! New Kids Nitro.

Yeah, dude!

Yay.

Dude, check this out.

Where'd you get that? - Where did I get that?

Stole it from the cops.

Yeah, right.

I've seen this one. With the gun.

That sketch on Comedy Central.

New Kids is old. Only the first season was sweet, when you were still with Flabber.

It's entertaining but you keep doing the same thing over and over.

What happened to you? You're fucking boring.

Of course, there it is: the car accident. Original.

Sorry. - I could have come up with that.

You don't even speak the Brabant dialect. You're actors. It's bullshit.

And a sequel? I won't spend a dime on another boring movie...

...with a bad storyline and the usual shitty New Kids jokes.

I'll look for a cam version on the internet...

I've had it. I'm going to get my Manta back.

Hey homo, you two want to get a room or what?

Pussy.

Floor it!

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for watching.

A rare and mysterious comet has hit Friesland.

Our new reporter Peter Vernhout reports live from the scene.

Hi Peter, nice to have you with us. Can you describe the situation?

Ladies, it's great to be part of the team.

I'm in Friesland with farmer Feike We were told he has all the answers.

Farmer Feike, what's the situation?

Fucking foreigners.

Hey dad, someone spray painted your place. Who did that, dude?

Bunch of homos from Schijndel, I guess. - Really?

Damn cunts.

We'll have five Grizzly, a nugget, long wiener, three Bounty's...

...a Ricky Martin, two Knoepert.

Have you lost it or something? How are you going to pay for it?

Dude, we have to get to the game. We'll just pay next time.

Yeah, right.

You also said that you would clean the house. Also didn't happen.

Dude.

Ready. - Why don't you hand it to me?

Come and get it, lazy cunt.

Dude. - What?

Watch the paint, cunt.

See? I can't get out. - For Christ's sake!

You're always giving me shit. Can't you see that I'm stuck here?

Ref! - Maaskantje!

Kick him!

Hey Barrie...

...give me a dime bag, dude.

Kick him in the shins! Your mother is a whore!

Get him, dude!

Heigh ho, Homos from Schijndel. - Homos.

Hey Maaskantje, Kiddy AIDS. Kiddy AIDS!

Shitkantje.

It's Dave. He's back.

They say he went crazy after the accident, with that garbage truck.

Totally cuckoo.

Are you looking at me, dude? - Shut the fuck up, cunt.

Anyone from Schijndel is a homo. I don't have to tell you that.

Go back to your fucking town and take your homo team with you.

You mean your homo team, dude? Just look at them.

Just look at those fags run. They don't have balls.

Balls? Your mother sucked my balls last night.

What did you say about our mother? - Filthy whore.

You're lucky I'm on probation, or you'd be swallowing your teeth.

Boohoo!

Peter, lemonade!

Ries. - What?

Drink out of a glass, for Christ's sake. I didn't raise you like that.

Sorry.

Where are the guys?

Smile for the camera, kids.

That beer is nice and cold. - Isn't it?

Schultenbräu!

Schultenbräu! das ist mein bier!

Schultenbräu! we drink with cheer!

Are you OK? - No, son.

Every night I take those fucking pills and every week those fucking hospital visits.

I've had enough, you know. - I get it.

First those miscarriages, then problems with your taxes and now this.

Hey, mom.

I've changed, you know.

I'm staying out of trouble. With the law, you know.

I can't afford go to jail. I want to take care of you.

Mom, I'll always be there for you, you know that.

Oh honey, of course I know that.

Now, did you take those goddamn pills yet?

Goddammit, fuck, I forgot. What would I do without you?

Hey, enjoying yourself?

It's from that filthy skank. You Know her, don't you? Manuela'?

That skank has been around, you know.

STD.

STD.

A rash. It itches like crazy.

And the chlorine in the pool makes it worse. Itching.

So where's she now? - Dead.

She got hit by a car. - Goddammit.

That's an awful way to go, isn't it?

That seems to be happening more and more. In this neighborhood. People getting hit.

That never used to happen before, or did it?

Hey Barrie, what are you doing, dude?

Oh, yes. He's earned it. Five euros.

Ronnie!

Ronnie!

There you go. - An album.

There he is. World-famous super star.

That's right, dearest neighbor. Number one. - And he didn't let it get to his head.

Guys, if you need something, Ronnie will take care of you.

Did you just throw fireworks inside my home?

No.

Stupid cunt! - Sorry.

Need a new oxygen tank, Corrie? - Better make that two.

Hey, who are you?

Deborah.

Why are you staring at my broad? - So what?

Ugly mushroom head!

With your homo car.

Fine, dude.

Rikkert?

Yo, I'm here!

Look at my face, dude. All red.

And my Manta is totally wrecked.

I think the ignition did it. That fucking homo from Schijndel!

Mr Biemans.

This is the lotion you asked for, for your penis.

Apply it to the festering sores 3 times a day.

And also apply it to the red spots around the anus.

Thanks.

Since the meteorite hit...

...three cows have been producing gigantic amounts of milk.

There's so much of it, they're handing out free milk in Friesland.

Farmer Feike, do you think these cows will eventually stop producing milk?

I do know that one cow has produced enough milk for the whole province.

And Sietske and Aafke also licked that same stone, so...

Every Friesian can come and get free milk here.

Yes...

Cheers!

If I see fucking Dave, I'll kick his ass. - Easy, dude.

We'll party tonight. Tomorrow is another day.

I wish he was here. I would destroy him. Filthy cunt.

Gerrie. - What 'Gerrie"?

I'll hit his ugly face. Check this.

What? Goddammit, is that cunt in Maaskantje again?

For Christ's sake.

Hey, cunt.

Why are you touching me? With your shower cap.

With your homo car. Boom.

A huge ball of fire.

Pussy.

What are you doing in our town? Didn't I tell you to stay away?

What are you going to do about it? Punch me or something?

Bring it on, dude.

If my mom wouldn't have been ill, I would have smashed your face already.

Just look at you. Mommy's boy. Boohoo.

Hey Paul, throw in that nitro.

What a pussy. it's pink. Homo!

The cops!

They'll never find us here.

Barrie, why did you do that, dude?

You know I'm on probation. I can't get locked up.

Our mom, dude!

Did you see that cunt collapse? Knockout!

Out cold.

Why were the cops there, anyway'? - Some good stuff, right?

Where'd you get that, dude? - It's mine, dude.

Found it, dude.

Found it? - Yes.

Hey, Dave is such a homo, right?

Watch this.

No caller ID. Good prank.

Gerrie Maaskantje phoning

What!

Hey Dave, you damned homo.

Having a good time bleeding?

You know what you are, dude? A fucking mongoloid.

Fucking Schijndel. Fucking Dave with your fucking skank.

I'm going to destroy you, cunt. - Really?

You know what? You're dead. All of you.

And especially you, Gerrie.

Feeling a bit better?

I'm going to kill those homos!

Wrong number.

Nice explosion at the end.

You have to unroll it, dude.

Buy your own fireworks next time. Such a waste.

Hey cunt! Are you guys crazy?

Do you have any idea what time it is? - Take it easy, dude.

Just fireworks. Pussy.

My blinds!

Bunch of homos. Bunch of cowardly cunts.

You hit me from behind, that's low.

Hey ugly cunt, you know what? - What?

A real race, dude. Tomorrow. - Fine, dude.

If we win, you'll never come to Maaskantje again, dude.

Never again! - But if I win...

I'll get that shower cap's ugly green Manta.

Fine, dude. - What?