The Code

You know those moments in life where you wanna pinch yourself and say,

"How did I get here?"

How did a boy from Yuba City, California,

find himself in a room full of guns and flying bodies?

Life is a kaleidoscope of colorful candy, isn't it?

You can't taste it if you don't reach for it.

Everyone cool down. Okay?

Let's take the temperature down a notch.

Again, my name is Lonnie Hawkins. This is my wife, Stacy Hawkins.

We are estranged, but we're working on it.

That is our son, Lance Hawkins.

And this gentleman right over here is my wife's current beau, Radish Dunkirk.

Radford Phipps, an absolute pleasure.

And I believe that woman there in the stocking cap

is my one-time caddie, Sam.

I don't know you, dude. My name's not Sam. It's Delroy McDowell.

Sam, shut it. It's important the killers know our names and that we're real people.

I'm still gonna blow his hand off if I don't get my money.

Swear to God, if you do that, I will rip your dick off!

I'd be careful, Cuddle Bear. She's ripped off one dick today.

She is like Santa Claus with a big old bag full of dicks.

If you're gonna shoot a hand, why don't you just shoot his hand.

-It's already broken. -We don't know that.

It's probably badly sprained and in no way will affect my golf game.

Then why does it smell?

It could be infected.

We'll know more in the next 48 to 72 hours.

-It does smell. -I don't wanna…

Fat guy, stop talking.

-I'm not fat. -Shut it!

Okay.

But seriously, you know, my BMI is normal for someone my size.

Y'all need to shut up!

Oh!

We're in control now.

That's right.

We're in control, so I'm gonna need you three

to take your kid and get out of here.

-Yeah, yeah. -Lance! Come on, let's go!

-Bye, Tony Hawk. -No!

-They call him The Hawk -Hawk!

He's a golfer

The greatest golfer in the world!

Everyone in. Get in. Get in. Come on.

What the fuck?

-What are we doing in here? -Sam told me to hide.

-Who's Sam? -Dad's old caddie with the gun.

What? So your caddie told you to hide?

Oh my God!

Oh, holy shit. That was crazy.

-I knew it! -It's Delroy.

Oh, I missed you. I was wrong. I never should have fired you.

I miss the noises you make when you talk.

I miss how I… I used to ask for my sand wedge,

and you'd give me a putter.

You're erratic, and… and awful driving.

-Awful! -What the fuck?

I miss you, buddy. What I'm trying to say is I need ya.

Firing you was the biggest mistake I've ever made.

And I've made very few, if any at all. I mean…

Maybe that seven… iron, going with seven iron on the fifth hole at the Old Course.

Old Henry, he wanted me to go with an eight iron.

But the wind started to pick up, and I thought if I just hit an easy seven,

I could keep the ball from ballooning on me.

Maybe I swang too hard, I don't know.

Point is, nothing can compare to that decision to let you go.

It was wrong. I need you. I need you more than anyone.

Well, you know what, Lonnie? You should've thought about all that

before you fired my ass.

Oh my God. Shut up. You could have killed someone, lady.

Oh, you're welcome.

-You fucking shitbag. -Whoa…

I just saved your freaking hand from getting blown off.

She's 100% correct.

If it wasn't for me and this lady saving your ass with some Rambo shit--

-Yeah. -Why are you screaming and yelling at me?

You didn't do dick. I'm surprised you didn't pee your pants.

-I didn't do dick? -Yeah.

-No. -I did so much.

But I want to thank you, Sam, for saving my son's hand.

-Not that it was worth saving, but… -Mom!

-What? I am sick of your bullshit, Lance. -Rude.

I am sick and tired of it. You're worse than your father.

Kill them both. I don't even care.

-Whoa. -Oh, whoa, whoa…

I don't kill people. I just, you know, shoot the ceilings.

Still cool.

At least no one got hurt.

Yeah? What about this?

-Lance! -Your right hand!

-Yeah. -That's incredible.

Yeah. Why is that incredible?

You're Luke Skywalker. I'm Darth Vader.

Father and son losing the same hand.

We're connected for eternity.

You know, I can't even feel it. Maybe I'm unbreakable.

I think I may be able to explain why you can't feel it.

Radford, you're shot!

Yes, I seem to have inadvertently caught a bullet.

Can I just bring up the one thing that I think we're all thinking about right now?

This was an incredible family moment!

One to be cherished.

-And we're in Las Vegas. -Lonnie…

Boxcars! Right?

Hiding from gangsters.

-The list goes on and on. -It's a great city.

"For a woman, wert thou first created."

"Until nature, as she wrought thee, fell a-doting…"

Okay. He's babbling.

Oh, he's not making any sense.

-We gotta get him help. -Por favor.

Come on, Radcliffe. Don't ruin this trip, please.

-Here we are. Okay, great. -Yes.

Okay, good.

You're doing great. Okay, now let me hear you say it.

Self… inflicted.

-Good job. -I knew I liked you, Radcliffe.

Good. Okay.

You know, they try to get you on the bacon

'cause they cook it in that greasy pan to force you not to eat so much.

-That's when I dive in to the ham. -Oh yeah.

The ham, that's where you win. You win with the ham.

And the sausage, both types.

Can we talk about the elephant in the room?

-Stacy, I did not wet my pants, okay? -I'm talking about our son!

Oh, let me guess. You don't like the hair.

Does the pink shock you? I look fucking awesome.

I like the hair. My man looks cool.

-Yeah, me too. -Thank you.

I thought you looked like Machine Gun Kelly

when I busted through that hotel room.

Colson Baker.

-Enough. Not the hair. -I like her. She's cool.

I leave him alone for one night

and he almost throws away his entire career.

-Our son needs help. Can you see that? -Hey! I had that situation under control.

Okay? I did.

Yeah, you're right, Stacy. He's a mess.

And it's affecting his game.

His game?

Do you even give a shit about anything outside of his golf game?

-Oh, do you? -Excuse me?

Seriously, you only care about me winning for your stupid drink.

And you lied to me. Dad told me.

You said he messed up my Legos when I was a kid. I didn't even have Legos.

You just lied to my face.

It's true, Stacy. You did lie. You can be a bad mother sometimes.

-Mm-hmm. -The two of you, please!

You don't think I can see what's going on

with the gambling addiction, the drinking, lying, cheating?

I told you that story so you could keep focused

so that this shit wouldn't happen. That's why I did it.

-No. No. -Yes.

You told me that story because you're both selfish fucks.

Hey! Don't talk to your mother that way!

She's a very good mother and a very sexy woman.

You'd be lucky to roll around the bed with someone like this.

-Dude, what the fuck? -What do you mean?

-It's my mom! -I know. She's hot as shit.

-She is. -Fucking stop.

Hey, my wife and I are here on a family retreat.

Would you mind not swearing?

Fuck off!

-Yeah, maybe fuck off, guy. -You heard him. Get out of here.

Can you please be a dad for just one second, Lonnie?

-What, I… -One second is all I ask.

I took him to a steak dinner. We talked about life. What have you done?

-I do everything all the time. -Oh my God, listen to yourselves!

Nothing's your fault. It's just the other person's fault.

Well, in this particular case…

Oh, my… Dad, Mom,

I love you. I do.

But for now, why don't you just stay the fuck out of my life, okay?

I'll figure my own shit out.

I'm taking my pancakes.

Look, it has been an emotional day, you know,

with the gunshots and the yelling and the running and the crying.

-I think everybody's just on edge. -Yeah. A very weird day.

-Mm-hm. -A weird day.

-Yeah. -Very strange day.

Long, strange day.

Very strange.

A day like no other.

So weird.

Very weird.

A day filled with raw… emotion.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Yeah.

I think I'm gonna go to the bathroom too.

Um, should I come too?

No.

I better not get stuck with this bill.

Oh, Lonnie.

-Oh, stay there. -Oh, God.

-Oh, get in. Get inside. -Oh, watch my hand.

Do I have sausage breath?

Shh!

Oh, Lonnie.

Squeeze my nuts!

-Go harder! -Squeeze!