Massive Retaliation

Wow. Look out!

Bam! No, that one.

Shit!

My turn, my turn!

My turn, my turn!

Come on.

I'll tell Mom that you said the S word again.

What S word?

Shit.

(laughs) You just said it too.

No fair!

Hey, guys. Be cool.

I've got enough to do without listening to your shit.

Suzy's been teaching me English saddle.

She's real nice.

I can trot and she said maybe this weekend,

I can sit at canter.

While not considered as serious

as the 1962 Cuban Missile Crisis,

the world nonetheless holds its breath.

This gung-ho diplomacy has, many observers feel,

gone beyond a point where either side can gain

any bargaining chips with the OPAC nations.

In a related development,

Pope John Paul II issued a statement today from the Vatican,

urging both the President and the Soviet Premiere

to take any steps necessary

to avert escalation of the situation.

- There's a kid for you on line two.

It's not Harry.

Junior or senior?

I think it's Eric Briscoe.

He's taking the kids up to the cabin a day early,

get them out from underfoot.

School vacation.

I'll take it.

Hello, Eric.

Hello?

- Is there something interesting on the wire?

I'm not sure.

I was just about to take it into the boss.

I'll take it. May I see?

Thank you.

Sorry to bother you, Mrs. Tolliver,

but Harry forgot his backpack.

- All right. I suppose his head is still attached.

Yes, ma'am, but it rattles.

How are the rest of the kids?

Yeah, we're fine, but I think everybody

in the world left early for Fourth of July weekend.

(sighs) Well, all right.

I will bring the backpack,

and you drive safely, and I'll see you tomorrow.

You want to talk to your son?

No. No need.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Hello?

Tie that off.

Dr. Briscoe.

Lee? Jackie.

There's an unconfirmed report on Reuters wire

that the Russians are planning some kind

of an evacuation drill.

I see.

- Between that and the Oman maneuvers, I thought-

Very wise.

The patient has been told

how we handle this kind of emergency?

Right.

Inform the families by all means.

I'll meet you at midnight.

Right, and thank you for being so prompt.

Celia, would you close?

Honey?

Which one of these do you want me to pack?

Honey?

Which one of these do you want to wear?

I don't care, pick one.

Lois, Lois, wear the blue one.

It accentuates your thighs and I love you topless.

Doris Buehler, we give her back when we're done.

The steak, Harry, the steak.

Not the neck.

This stake.

The yellow.

The stake, please, no, no.

Not the stake, please.

No, Van Helsing, no! (groaning)

Oh, hi Jackie.

Yeah, he's here.

What?

Okay.

Kirk?

It's Jackie for you.

For me?

Ah ha, my wife.

I knew it would come to this.

Hello?

Are you ready?

Just go ahead, we'll catch up.

All right, don't screw around.

Tell them to drive safe.

And drive safe.

Yes, Lois.

Did they leave yet?

I told them we'd catch up.

(sighs) You didn't say anything

to make the neighbors suspicious, did you?

Honey, they are the neighbors.

Oh, Harry.

God dammit, why can't you take anything seriously?

What's this?

That's something I thought I would need.

Mission High, Varsity, All City 1964?

Right, Harry.

You really need this.

Hello?

Honey, you've got to pack now.

One suitcase, the bare essentials.

Lee, we can pack in the morning.

I thought tonight we'd-

Baby, it's an emergency.

Every second counts.

Pack, don't panic, pack.

I'll tell you about it in the car.

We'll be safe at the ranch but first we've got to get there.

Oh.

Oh god, the carpet.

Leave it.

Lee, it will ruin it.

Leave it.

- Response to the rapidly escalating tension,

cancellation of the President's Camp David holiday comes

on the heels of the report that Russian troops are massing

on the Russian-Arabian border,

and that Moscow itself is involved

in a huge civil defense drill.

Western newsmen have been quarantined

in the American Embassy in Moscow,

but it's expected they will be released shortly.

Hi, fill it up unleaded, please.

Got to be cash in advance.

Okay, how much?

$20 a gallon.

The sign says a buck 44.

- Oh yeah, that was yesterday, today it's $20 a gallon.

That's illegal.

You can't charge more than the posted price.

Okay, so arrest me.

Now do you want the gas or don't you?

Give him the money, honey.

If things keep escalating like this,

they'll just be scraps of paper.

I haven't seen the others, Doc.

The kids came through a couple hours ago.

They stopped just long enough to fill up their radiator.

Your son's getting big.

He's a good boy.

Clark's, Wanda, let's move it.

Jack's sausage is getting cold.

Oh yeah? That little thing?

Jack's sausage has been cold for years.

Shot you down, sucker.

In flames.

It's okay, Wanda.

This sausage is gonna rise again.

Oh yeah?

Well, you'd better hurry up

because the end of the world is coming.