Big

"You are standing in the cavern of the evil wizard."

"All around you are the carcasses of slain ice dwarfs."

"Melt... Melt wizard."

"What do you wanna melt him with?"

- Josh! - What do ya think I wanna melt him with?

- I told you to take out the garbage. - Just a second!

"Throw... thermal..."

- Didn't you hear what Mom said? - One minute!

Joshua Baskin!

"Your hesitancy has cost you dearly."

"The wizard, sensing your apprehension, unleashes a fatal bolt from the ice scepter."

"With luck, you will thaw in several million years."

Great.

Come on! Josh, it's starting to stink up the place.

OK, OK, OK...

"Take the garbage out." Every day... "Take the garbage out."

There!

The teams are being led into the field and the crowds are going crazy.

Yeah! Yeah!

Wait. The Yankees' star pitcher is coming outta the bull pen!

And the crowds are cheering. They're going crazy!

- Is Billy there? - In the back.

Rick Rowden is on the mound for the Yankees.

He looks into the catcher's mitt, shakes off the first signal, takes the curve.

He wipes the sweat off his brow, leans back and fires.

Yeah!

Goodbye, Mr. Spalding!

Here, here. Wait.

Got it. Need it. Need it. Got it.

Hey, hey, hey! Do you ever go by Simpkins' desk when she's grading papers?

When she leans over, you can see right down her shirt.

- No! - I swear to God.

Bra?

No, she's got one of those undershirt things.

So if you get real close to the board,

you can see all the way down to her flowers.

Whoa!

Yeah. Gimme your gum.

- Need it. Got it. Got it. Need it... - Hey, hey.

Oh, my God. It's Cynthia!

How did a geek like Freddie Benson get a sister like that?

Beats me.

Hi, Josh.

- Hi. - Oh, my God. It's Billy.

- He says hi. - Come on, Miss Cheapo. A quarter!

Unbelievable!

God! She likes you. I know she does. I'll find out.

Shimmy, shimmy, go-go bop, shimmy, shimmy, rock

Shimmy, shimmy, go-go bop, shimmy, shimmy, rock

I met a girlfriend named Triscuit

She said a Triscuit's a biscuit

Ice-cream soda pop, vanilla on the top

Ooh, sha-li-da

Walking down the street ten times a week

I meant it, I said it, I stole my momma's credit

I'm cool, I'm hot

Sock you in the stomach three more times!

Call me after supper. Remember about Cynthia.

Don't worry! I'm as interested as you are.

It isn't fair.

Honey, we've talked about this.

You knew this would happen when Rachel got older.

- Why can't she stay in your room? - Because.

Being part of a family means sharing responsibilities.

Great. But do I have to share my room?

I'm a person. I am not your maid.

Can any of you appreciate that?

You waltz in here like it's some kind of a resort.

Lounging around, waiting for your dinner to be cooked, your clothes to be ironed...

But what about me, huh? Have you ever once thought about how I feel?

Do you know what it's like to work eight hours and come home to this?

Every single day?

None of you ever offer to help me.

Why?

I can't do it alone anymore.

I just can't.

And if you tell them anything that goes on in this room, you'll be sorry.

- So? Will you tell me? - You're in.

- What do ya mean? - Cynthia Benson!

What about her?

Are you ready for this?

- She doesn't like Barry anymore. - So?

What do ya mean, "So?" That's it, she's available!

- Billy, it doesn't mean... - Josh?

Hey! It's after midnight.

- Say good night to Billy. - Good night, Billy. I gotta go.

Good night, Mrs. Baskin!

Sweet dreams!

Okay, I'm ready. Here I go. I'm ready.

- Hey! - I get one more try. One more try.

Okay, honey, big smile. Big smile!

Good! Good.

"Wimpy!" Oh, better luck next time.

Let me get one more try. Please? One more? I can't live with "wimpy"!

Are you sure you wanna go on this, son?

- Yeah. - No, I don't know about this one, Bob.

- No, this looks too scary. - It's okay.

Oh, my God!

I told you. He doesn't wanna go on it.

- You don't have to go on it if you don't... - No, no.

It's just that I wanna go on myself.

- You do? - Yeah. I think it's something...

- Yeah, I think it's something I should do. - Great.

Why don't we meet you at the Ferris wheel?

Half-hour.

- Excuse me. - Hey!

Sal threw up on the other ride.

Josh?

- Oh. Hi. - Hi.

Have you been on this before?

- This? - Yeah.

- Yes. - Is it scary?

Yes.

Are you here alone?

Yes.

- Look. Aren't those your parents? - Where?

- Right over there. - Smile!

Why, yes.

- Hey. Who's this? - Josh Baskin.

- How you doin'? - This is Derek.

He drives.

- Next. - Go ahead.

- Go ahead! - Yo, next!

Whoa. Read this sign.

"You must be at least this big to ride this ride."

What?

Hey, I don't make the rules.

Next!

Next!

Well, it's a stupid rule.

Look, why don't you try the kiddie wheel?

See you, Josh.

"Drop 25 cents here."

Come on!

Work! Work!

Neat!

Make my wish.

Right.

I wish I were big.

Honey, you'll wake up your brother.

Come on, come on. You sleep with me.

Easy, dog! Easy! Don't make me do it. I'm only part-time.

Sorry!

Josh!

Josh!

- Josh! - What?

It's 7:30! Are you up?

Come on, sleepyhead! You're gonna miss the bus,

and I can't drive you today!

What does he do in his sleep?

Honey? I put out some clean clothes.

Bring down your dungarees and stuff for the laundry, okay?

Okay.

- Are you getting a cold, Josh? - No! I'm fine.

He's got a cold. Now Rachel's gonna get a cold, I'm gonna get a cold...

Ow!

Oh, my God!

- Breakfast is ready, Josh! - Be right there!

Josh! Hurry up! Your eggs are getting cold.

Hold this. Hold this.

Keep it a secret.

Bring down Rachel with you, all right?

Okay.

Come on. Come on.

Quiet, quiet.

You want orange juice or...

What about your breakfast?

Pardon me, boy. Is that the Chattanooga choo-choo?

Choo, choo, choo

- Don't. Please! Don't. - Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- No, don't! - Mom, it's me. It's Josh.

- I'm a grown-up. - Stop it! Oh, God!

I made a wish last night. I turned into a grown-up, Mom.

I made this wish on the machine

And it turned me into a grown-up -at the carnival.

My birthday's November 3rd. I got a B in history.

Here, take the purse. You can have anything that's in it. Go away!

My... My baseball team is called the Dukes!

Uh... I made this for you. Who are you calling?

Ha! I have a birthmark behind my left knee.

- You bastard! What did you do to my son? - I am your son.

- Where is my child? Where is my son? - Ma! Ma! Ma!

Police!

Heads up! Heads up on defense!

Come on! All the way! All the way!

It's all yours!

I'm open! Here, I'm open!

Shoot!

Gentlemen, the period is over.

- Get back to the locker room. - Billy is a dick!

Wash your shirts and shorts.

Billy! Do us both a favor.

Put the balls away, and you practice your lay-up.

Horowitz!

Pick up that shirt or I'll make you eat it. It stinks!

Let's go, gentlemen. Let us go. Now!

- Billy. - Yeah.

- What? - It's me.

It's Josh.

- Coach Barnes! - Wait, wait!