Dead Account (デッドアカウント)

Hey, you.

You on social media?

Bet you are.

Now here's a question.

When you inevitably die,

what's gonna happen to your accounts?

Every day, there are more and more of them.

Accounts of the deceased.

Dead accounts.

What?

You think they just stay abandoned

- and don't update anymore? -

Huh.

Are you sure about that?

It's possible

something far worse could happen.

Tasty!

CAN’T ESCAPE THE BURN! I SUCKER-PUNCHED ORAKIN!

Hmm.

Aw, man. That's too far.

HAHAHA DUDE’S OUT LIKE A LIGHT

Enough already. Oh!

HAHAHA!!

I can't watch anymore.

POLICEMAN HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Wow, another close call.

Aoringo is ridiculous.

TIME TO HAUL ASS LOLOL

He's a shithead.

Even as flamebait goes.

Did you see it? The latest Aoringo vid?

I did.

Didn't he jump that one MMA content creator,

totally unprovoked?

Yeah, he beat that guy's ass and ran off.

He's the worst. Straight up dumpster fire.

Doesn't stop him

from getting views, though.

I know I'm part of the problem.

I hate that I'm boosting his analytics,

but I can't stop watching.

COMMENTS - STRONK LOLOL KINDA PUSHING IT - REPORTED

Ah?

Cope, seethe and mald, viewers!

Thank you for coming.

That's it.

Watch that rage burning.

The hotter it burns, the more money I make.

GARBAGE MAN (LITERAL)

CREDIT MONETIZATION HISTORY

It just keeps rolling in.

Get baited, bitch!

SOJI ENISHIRO FLAMEBAIT MYUTUBER AORINGO

Oh, um. Hey, Akari.

Should you be sitting up like that?

You need your rest.

Okay, Big Brother.

You really don't have to worry about me so much.

I'm actually feeling pretty good today,

so could you try to relax?

By the way, what were you doing?

-You didn't reply to my texts. -Oh.

Yeah, sorry.

I had to take care of stuff,

but I bought you cake when I was out.

Uh-huh.

I bet you bought that for yourself.

Well, not exactly.

I was thinking we could split it.

You promised to limit yourself to one sweet thing per day.

How many have you had so far?

Mm...

Like three.

-Plus three more. -Are you eating real food too?

You need to have a balanced diet!

And good sleep!

Also, remember to do your laundry!

Air out the futons while you're at it!

- -Yup, I hear you loud and clear.

Honestly...

some big brother you are.

You're helpless without me.

Huh?

Sure am.

-To teach you a lesson... -

I'll have to confiscate this cake of yours.

What? No fair!

- -Akari?

I'll call the nurse.

No, I'm fine.

Really? Please be honest.

Sorry to scare you.

My body keeps doing this to me

and I have no idea why.

Akari,

stay strong.

We're almost through this.

Look, you're gonna go to the US in a month,

and that super-doctor is gonna perform

your big miracle surgery.

And then you'll be all better before you know it.

Yeah, but are you sure?

You say that, but it's so expensive.

Don't be silly.

I told you, I've got it all taken care of.

Remember, I found an awesome part-time job.

So just leave it to your big bro!

"Live your life without causing hardship for others."

That's what the old fart at the orphanage always said.

If there were a legit way to get rich,

I'd do it.

I'm not skilled and I'm not smart either.

But I'm tough,

so all I can do is hold my own in a fight.

Will I piss people off? Of course I will.

I don't give a damn if the whole world hates me...

as long as Akari gets better.

So I need more.

More rage to burn.

DOWNVOTE

ONE MONTH LATER

Aoringo hasn't uploaded in a while.

Wait, you didn't hear? He retired, man.

- For real? When? - Like a month ago.

THIS ACCOUNT IS NOT PUBLIC

Think he got carted off to Miden Academy?

Uh, what academy?

They round up kids that are glued to their phones

and do something to try and fix 'em.

Rumor has it

-they torture them. -

Whenever someone gets sent there,

they don't come out alive.

Sounds like a bad creepypasta!

Mm.

This pudding's not half bad.

You know, I gotta hand it to the convenience stores.

Their desserts have been on point lately.

On my pudding tier list, I put this in B-tier.

Wait, no. Maybe even A-tier.

I bet Akari would like it, too.

She would for sure.

- -Huh?

Hmm.

HEYA! AKARI HERE! WHAT ARE YOU UP TO, BIG BROTHER?

EATING PUDDING

AGAIN? HOW MANY TODAY?

FIVE LOL

GRAAAAAAAAH KEEP YOUR PROMIIIIISE!!

HOW ARE YOU FEELING, AKARI?

OH, I’M GREAT! FEELS LIKE I WAS NEVER SICK!

I’LL BE BACK SOON! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU!

That's good.

YOU’RE JUST HELPLESS WITHOUT ME, BIG BROTHER!

That's really good. I'm so glad.

Huh?

Huh?

Don't dodge.

Asshole.

Wait, what? Just who are you?

Beg pardon.

Calling you an asshole is a bit much.

That's my bad.

Do you seriously not know what you did wrong here?

You broke into my--

Ah! Don't kill me!

Huh? Oh.

Who the hell was that guy?

WHAT’S GOING ON?

I JUST HAD A BREAK-IN

A BREAK-IN? ARE YOU OKAY, BIG BROTHER?

OKAY FOR NOW. BUT WHAT REALLY DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.

It's my phone.

I think that guy's after it.

WHAT?

Right. I should probably call the cops now.

You mind? The hell is your problem?

You asked for it!

By the way, this is self-defense!

Whoa!

This bastard.

He is after my phone.

-Soji Enishiro. -Huh?

The flamebait MyuTuber,

Aoringo.

I've seen your videos.

Not by choice, mind you.

And they're all disgusting!